Page 62 of Knot Their Opening Act

* * *

At my request, Caylee gets me to the bus and into my bedroom at the back with no run-ins with Fable. They must understand I need to be alone, and whether they’re happy about it or not, that’s the truth.

She makes sure I’m fine and says she’ll report back to Ash and Ferny. I thank her, and as soon as she’s away and I’m set up with a plastic takeaway container of fruit salad and a small side of salmon and a can of seltzer, I switch on my MMO and log in to my character.

Yfrette has been my alter-ego for years now, and it’s been the best way to unwind. Nothing to do with the real world, and even when the real world’s been going great, like after a successful gig and an after-party with Viv, or a morning run along a coast somewhere on my songwriting holidays, I still enjoy shutting off the outside and diving into my head.

Many of my songs sprang from seeds of ideas that germinated while inhabiting Yfrette. So I don’t discount it as an indulgence, and thankfully, after a while, Viv didn’t either. She’s so not a gamer girl, and really, I’m not either. I’ve always loved video games but I’m not one to post videos of myself playing—or watch other people. I just like to escape.

It’s 1:30 before I start to doze off at the controller though, and that’s when Azalaun logs in. He appears on the mountainside where Yfrette is mining luminous ore, and we start up our usual chat.

“You okay?” Azalaun says.

“It’s been a day, shall we say.”

“Same here. Want to talk about it?”

I don’t, really. And we hardly ever exchange personal info. This is what I’ve loved, but I don’t want to be rude, either. Maybehewants to talk about his.

“I’d rather just mine ore, but I am absolutely all ears if you want to chat about yours? We can have a mine-and-bitch session if you want?” I type.

After a moment, Azalaun pulls out his pick and starts mining in the mountainside next to me. His stack builds up pretty fast because his equipment is several levels above Yfrette’s.

Once he’s got a pile rivaling mine, he replies: “No, I’m good. Just wanted to check on you. And I see you haven’t opened the latest message I sent you. Can I ask a huge favor?”

“Of course,” I reply.

“Don’t open it. Delete it without reading it.”

Huh. That’s weird. “Did you send an item with it by accident?” You can attach items like weapons or armor or magic items as gifts and send them in in-game letters to friends.

“Yeah, I sent you something I wanted to use on a bigger gift to send you, and if you open this and see it, it’ll spoil the surprise. Sorry about that. I promise to send something you CAN open next time :)”

I chuckle to myself, and do as he asks.

“Okay, done. And I’m looking forward to this other surprise.”

“For right now, let’s just have a mine-and-chill session instead.”

“Sounds good to me,” I reply, and we mine for a while in silence, then start to race. He’s way ahead of me. At the end of a half hour, he gives me everything he’s mined anyhow, then says he’ll see me tomorrow. A puzzling comment since we don’t see each other more than a few times a week, but I’ll be sure to log in anyhow.

I wish it could be like this is real life, with Alphas. With Fable on Fire. Helping each other out without having any strings attached. Holden and Thomas and Nico were all lovely, and acted so genuine, making me feel truly safe. But whether they want there to be strings or not, they’re there, dangling, and always will be. Ulterior motives, outside influences, fans.

If these strings are ever going to be cut, something tells me Kai would need to be the one who does it.

CHAPTER28

Thomas

This is surreal now,playing my game and knowing who Yfrette is. We’ve started in on a brief quest that we’ll have to pause and save for next time because it’s nearing 2-bloody-a.m. Rather than a kind of giddy, electric thrill of playing with our Omega who’s had no idea whoIam these past few years, a guilty discomfort sits heavy in my gut.

Having her delete that message instead of telling herimmediatelyfeels like hiding in her closet and watching her undress. Yes, I’ve seen her naked already. But keeping a truth like this is also lying, and I am programmed—created, really—to protect my Omega. Not hurt her.

Will the not knowing hurt her? There’s a part of me that wants this part of her, that has nothing to do with packs and designations and real life. And tonight it hits me how much she needs that, too.

She types another message.

“I need to go soon. Early start. But I want you to know that I appreciate how long we’ve been able to do this, and neither of us has demanded anything of the other. No judgment. Just fun. You could be anyone, but you don’t care what I do with my real life, and that’s beautiful.”

---