Page 32 of Knot Their Opening Act

Why does it feel like I’ve been without her for a year instead of just a month? I saw her here and there before the tour, but I severely underestimated how lonely I would feel once tour started.

We lived together until she moved in with her pack. And although I still have the same flat and she’s not far down the road, a hole opened in my life when she found the family she’d been wishing for.

You’ll always be my family, too, Jez. Forever,she’d assured me.I just can’t have pups with you,she’d laughed.

Life changes, and that’s to be expected. Somehow, I didn’t.

“Hey, can I come get you in five?” Caylee says when I pick up her call, which interrupts my very busy morning of wearing a track in the plush carpet.

“Soundcheck’s at 2:30 though,” I say. I know because I’ve taken to examining each itinerary a dozen times and committing it to memory after the incident at the rehearsal space.

The electric kettle announces it’s boiled so I head to the kitchen area and pour myself a big mug of hot lemon water, then blow on it.

“Ash and Jay want you there a bit early for some meet and greet stuff. There are few VIPs visiting Fable and Jay insisted they say hello to you as well.”

Grand. That sounds like the time my dad forced the neighbor’s son to take me out on a date when I was seventeen because his parents owed Dad a favor.

“Ah, okay. No worries, see you shortly!” I say.

Shit.

I race around, dumping my mug of lemon water into my travel mug and double-check the contents of my duffel for the evening: makeup, hair products, deodorant, toothbrush and paste, and my vocal and med kit. Honey tea, check. Nebulizer, check. Lozenges, check. Vocal straw, check. Teddy bear my mum gave me when I performed in my first talent show at age 8, check.

I throw the bag over my shoulder, take my clothes in the wardrobe bag from the closet, and stand at the door like a horse guard at Buckingham Palace. Caylee knocks exactly five minutes after hanging up and she and a dude with a ginger beard, who I assume is security, lead me to the lift.

The same exact lift.

I watch their faces but Caylee seems oblivious, making small talk about some of the celebs said to be attending tonight, and the security guard pipes up when she mentions a big TV star he’s a fan of.

I just stand there sniffing the air, and all I can smell is Thomas’s and my sex scent. We were here. We might as well have plastered the walls with our cum.

Thankfully, Caylee and this dude are both Betas for sure. But the guilt is written on my face, and the inability to look Thomas in the eye when the others are around is undeniable. I felt safe with him, but now it feels like some parallel realm we traveled to that we can’t admit exists in front of anyone else, for fear of being locked up.

I hadn’t expected to get through my heat with a member of Fable, of all people on this earth.

I didn’t even fire up my video game for my usual distraction. I’d laid in our sex sheets for an hour before peeling myself off and taking a shower. I haven’t felt so relaxed, so calm, or so satisfied in—well. Maybeforever.

Thomas was so attentive, so ready to serve. I have zero regrets, despite who he is. And I know when the heat next rears its head, it’s Thomas I’m going to look for.

And pray he’s alone.

CHAPTER17

Kai

I’ve settledfor wearing two pairs of boxers under a looser pair of black trousers for tonight’s gig. It sounds daft but I think it does the trick.

Thomas was quick to confirm he’s still on suppressants. Which means he didn’t scent her as our match. And I feel the world’s biggest shit for not telling him. Or Nico, or Holden. They deserve to know. But I don’t want this. I can’t want it.

Not after Nyah. And certainly not after my own parents. After three decades in the music industry together tore them apart and left me with a silent household and neither as a shoulder when I needed one the most, I would never do that to my own pups. Or to myself.

I start up the second song of the night, knowing full well that after this one’s when I’ve agreed to name-drop Jez. The crowd is different tonight, and I’m not sure why. The weather’s colder, and there aren’t any obvious Jez fans in front of the stage.

Her performance went smoothly until about halfway through. I watched from offstage when someone who’d smuggled a dildo inside threw it on the stage. It landed at Jez’s feet as she was singing her most energetic number.

To her credit, she calmly bent down and continued singing as she picked it up like a used tissue, then hucked it toward stage left. But it was the worst thing she could’ve done I think. Acknowledging it made the haters in the crowd roar with laughter and approval, and other things flew on stage. Security made quick work of most of the offenders, but I don’t want that shit at my show. And I sure as hell don’t want my crowd becoming violent.

And it occurred me just before we hit the stage to a thunderous applause and stomping of feet: this isourcrowd tonight. Wholly. All her fans seemed to attend Glasgow. And I have no control over what the people who pay money to see us playdo. Do I?

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