Page 18 of Knot Their Opening Act

I smile at this. They’re my first backstage guests, and getting to see them soon has been keeping me motivated.

“Did it feel like any other show? I mean, once you got that mindset going?” Viv picks up a bowl of grapes from off-camera and sets it on her belly, proceeding to chomp on one.

“It did—until something occurred to me.” I pause, afraid of her reaction. I’d rather do anything but tell her this right now in the midst of her own crisis because I know exactly how she’s going to react. “I, um, ran out of suppressants. Three days ago. And I completely forgot to refill before I left Bristol.”

For a moment, her face is blank. Then her eyes go wide and she clamps a hand holding a grape to her mouth.

“It’s not your fault,” I say. “Don’t worry. I can’t?—”

“It IS my fault! That was on my to-do list for the last week before I cut out. Oh my God, Viv! Are you in heat?”

Aware that the others could barge in the dressing room at any time, I turn the volume down on my phone. “I don’t think so,” I say quietly. “I’ve felt nauseous since yesterday and threw up right before going on stage but?—”

“Dammit, that’s one of the main signs! Fuck. This is all my fault.”

“It’s okay, I just need to call in the refill and pick it up tonight or tomorrow, whenever I can get to a chemist’s.”

“No!” She throws a hand up in the air, then smashes it on her head and closes her eyes. “That’s just the thing. I had it on my to-do list instead of justdoingit because you’re due for the big checkup before they’ll refill the prescription. You’ve been on it for a full ten years last month!”

Oh.

Oh.

Panic rises in me. “So, can I just see a doctor up here? Maybe someone in Edinburgh tomorrow? Or even Glasgow, early?”

She shakes her head sadly. “You have to see an Artists Guild-approved physician, so it has to be in England. The Scottish branch of guilds won’t see you if you’re registered down here. And, oh fuck, I’m pretty sure the network we’re registered in is centered across the South and South West. So you could go to a GP in Bristol, Bath, Reading, London, anywhere down here. But not Leeds when you’re there in two days.” She cringes and squeezes her eyes shut.

“That is complete fucking bureaucratic bollocks!” I shout, just as Ash opens the door, enters, and closes it behind him. He turns and raises a brow at my shout.

“I’m so sorry,” Viv says meekly.

I feel a heat rising in me, but not aheat-heat. Just an anger. Or maybe sadness. Jealousy. Fear. Frustration. Anxiety. All wrapped up, and it’s not her fault. I KNOW it’s not her job to sort all my shit out. It was for so long. But I am ultimately responsible for my own life.

Two-and-a-half days til we’re in London. I have to survive that long.

I should never have left her to deal with it all, especially once she was pregnant. Maybe not even when she first joined her pack, because that alone required more of her time. But I did. Because she was so good at it, and wanted to keep me from distractions, and desperately clung to her job. Her biggest fear when she fell pregnant was losing herself and her identity outside motherhood. So I gave in and made sure she knew how helpful she was to me.

Besides she’s never dropped the ball before. But what a ball to drop.

CHAPTER10

Nico

To sayit’s been a weird opening night is an understatement, but as we walk off stage to the audience’s roar following our encore finale, I bow and perform my signature cartwheel and flip as I head off-stage. The crowd eats it up, as per usual.

I land on my feet in the wings and bump into Kai, who gives me a light shove, rolls his eyes, and stomps off toward the dressing room.

“The fuck’s up with him?” says Holden. I shrug, grab a water bottle handed out by the crew as we pass, and hurry to catch up to Kai. I’m not letting him get away with that.

“You okay, shithead? That was a fantastic show!” Okay, so he screwed up the opening line ofDivine Wastelandbut I wasn’t entirely perfect on the bridge to that one since we haven’t played it live in years. But apart from those two little flubs I didn’t spot any signs of rust.

Thomas catches up to us with a water for Kai, but Kai’s already sped up.

“I’ll see you guys in the dressing room. I need a piss.”

He rushes off like he’s got the runs or something. I turn to Thomas. “He’s always full of piss. What’s his deal?”

Thomas shakes his head. Holden nods to security who opens the dressing room. Then I remember, we’re supposed to meet with Alicia’s Eight, a band of three chaps Holden knows from his days at uni. They shouldn’t be here until we give the all-clear, but that means no getting pissed in celebration.

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