Page 26 of Finders Keepers

Sophie takes a deep breath, just like I’ve taught her to do when she’s feeling nervous. She pulls her arm back and throws. The ring sails through the air, clips the edge of a bottle, and falls.

“Oh, so close!” The worker says. “Want to try again?”

Sophie shakes her head and runs back to me, burying her face in my leg. I stroke her hair, feeling her disappointment as if it were my own.

“You did great, honey,” I tell her. “Those games are really hard.”

“But Tommy won before,” she mumbles into my jeans.

“It’s okay Sophie,” Tommy calls out.

Molly checks her watch. “Time to head home, Tommy. Bailey, Sophie, it was wonderful meeting you.”

Sophie peeks out and gives a small wave. “Bye Tommy.”

“Bye Sophie! Bye Ms. Bailey!” Tommy waves enthusiastically as his parents lead him away.

Ms. Lucy claps her hands together. “Well, shall we make our way to the carousel? It’s getting late, but I think we have time for one more ride.”

I glance down at Sophie, who’s still pressed against my leg. “What do you think, Soph? Want to ride the carousel?”

She nods, but her earlier excitement seems dampened by her game loss. I hate seeing her disappointed, knowing how much courage it took for her to try in the first place.

“The carousel’s my favorite,” Gavin says, and I catch myself almost looking at him before dropping my gaze again. “Those horses have been here since I was a kid. Each one has its own name.”

Sophie’s head perks up slightly at this information. “They have names?”

“Sure do,” he continues, his voice gentle. “There’s Thunderbolt, the black one with the gold saddle. And Starlight, she’s pure white with silver stars painted on her sides. Then there’s…”

As he continues to list more names, Sophie gradually emerges from behind my leg, her eyes wide with interest. I feel a flutter of panic in my chest at her showing interest in him, but I force it down. He’s just being nice. Not every man is like Matt.

“Can we find Starlight?” She asks, looking up at me with renewed enthusiasm.

“We can try,” I say, grateful to see her spirits lifting. We follow them toward the carousel, its calliope music growing louder with each step.

The line isn’t long and soon we’re walking up the metal steps onto the platform. Sophie immediately starts searching for Starlight, her small hand still firmly in mine.

“There she is.” Gavin points to a beautiful white horse with silver stars scattered across its hips. Sophie’s face lights up.

“Can I ride her, Mama?”

“Of course, baby.” I help her onto the horse, making sure she’s secure before stepping to stand next to her. The platform begins to move, and Sophie lets out a delighted gasp as Starlight starts to rise and fall.

Ms. Lucy and Gavin take up positions nearby, Ms. Lucy on a stationary bench and Gavin leaning against a pole. The lights of the fair blur into streaks of color as we spin, and Sophie’s giggles mix with the tinkling carousel music.

For a moment, watching my daughter’s joy, I almost forget to be afraid. Almost forget to keep my guard up. Almost forget about Matt and all the reasons we ran.

But then I catch Gavin looking our way, his amber eyes warm in the carousel lights, and the familiar fear creeps back in. I turn away, focusing entirely on Sophie, on her small hands gripping the pole, on her blonde hair that escaped her braids flying in the breeze.

We’re safe here, I tell myself, even as my heart races. We’re safe, we’re safe, we’re safe.

But another voice, smaller, persistent, whispers: But for how long?

The carousel begins to slow, the music winding down. Sophie’s cheeks are flushed with excitement as I help her down from Starlight.

“Did you see me, Mama? Did you see how high we went?”

“I sure did, Soph.” I smooth her windblown hair. “You were flying.”

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