Page 36 of You Belong With Me

‘It’s a bloody bizarre thing, and you’re allowed to react any way you want,’ Nick said.

‘Thank you. I don’t get why actors perv on each other when eating spaghetti on an office night out. I have never been for tapas with the agency and ended up licking Richard’s face.’

‘OK, so if it helps,’ Nick said, ‘we’ve analysed the data thoroughly and have some key findings.’

Edie, pouring herself a coffee, said: ‘Haha, I KNEW it. Tell me your findings. I’m at a loss. I’m too biased, and I’ve had my mind mangled by tabloid spin.’

‘You’re sure you’re all right to discuss it? It can wait,’ Hannah said. She had been the one to hold Edie last night as she incoherently sobbed about her inadequacy versus: ‘Inner Hurrah– she’s twenty-fucking-EIGHT, for fuck’s sake.’

‘I would genuinely appreciate it,’ Edie said now. ‘If those photos aren’t what they look like, then I don’t know what those photosare.Which makes working out what I blame him for tricky. What is the penalty for a “touchy-feely display”?’

‘Court’s in session,’ Nick said, pulling his chair up next to Hannah. ‘Crucially, in the material we studied, we see nothing that shows Elliot initiating the physical contact. That would’ve been the smoking gun. And counter intuitively, I think you can be fairly reassured there was no such moment, because the press would’ve definitely used it.’

Oh God, that was true. If they’d had Elliot nuzzling Ines, it would’ve been right at the top. He’d not have got away with it. It was strange that he was exonerated by the same scrutiny that incriminated him.

‘So, Hannah, what did we conclude?’

Edie’s heart swelled with gratitude. They’d correctly intuited that Edie needed this mocking, to defuse its power over her.

‘The most damning image is the handholding,’ Hannah said. ‘But was it holding? Here is my hand.’ Hannah laid it on the table. ‘I am Elliot.’

‘And I am Ines,’ Nick said. ‘People do often say we look alike.’

‘Now, note my hand is inert,’ Hannah said. ‘It is, at this juncture, an innocent hand.’

Nick placed his hand on Hannah’s and pushed his fingers over the top of hers.

‘Obviously not perfect reconstruction, as she’d need to have been drinking and not expect my approach,’ Nick said, ‘making it potentially even more effective. But we have established that it is perfectly possible to do this clasping and it look like mutual handholding.’

Nick opened the iPad, found the relevant image, and held it up. ‘No finger intertwining. Her hand over his, as he said. ‘This has gone quite:If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.’

‘So … he was preyed upon?’ Edie said. ‘Hmm.’

‘Sort of. What we’ve concluded, Edith, is that it is clearly flirting,’ Hannah said. ‘She was flirting with him, and he didn’t discourage her. We see no evidence he was ever flirt instigator. His role is passive, yet still a participant by default. Some would say that is flirting.’

Edie had an uncomfortable moment, thinking:have there not been times in your life where a small truth, taken out of context, became a big lie?

She was even holding Nick’s hand last night, and it wasn’t as if that meant anything remotely lascivious. But she didn’t have long-lens cameras pointed at her, in pursuit of standing up fraudulent editorial directions. Or not so far.

‘In summary, we think Elliot’s specific crime is flirting toleration, when spoken for,’ Nick said. ‘You need some sort of tracking device. I’d recommend slipping an AirTag into his McChicken next time you see him.’

‘So this, my safe space, is in fact the Justice For Elliot Owen headquarters?’ Edie said. ‘Why do you two fancy him so much?!’

There was collective delight at her response, and she realised Nick and Hannah hadn’t known what state she’d be in today, with some justification.

‘We like him, true,andwe think you’re owed a big apology,’ Hannah said. ‘I also think stunning women who take the liberty of pawing men won’t often get told not to. I think his claim of mad actress behaviour might have some merit. It’s not a normal profession. My friend once saw Miriam Margolyes swipe someone’s cornet from their hand like a human seagull.’

‘Herrera can keep her hands off my Flake 99,’ Edie replied, and Nick said: ‘That’s the spirit!’

What had Elliot’s mum called this fuss?Silly hoopla.

‘… It’s like joining the circus,’ Edie said. ‘All right, your findings are noted.’

After milky tea, she was feeling almost human again when her phone buzzed.

Elliot

Would the time for talking possibly be in about half an hour? Can I come & see you?

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