Page 163 of Lady for Embers

“Yes, well,” she started, smoothing her hands down the skirt of her dress. She cleared her throat. “This is inappropriate behavior for a Lady and even more inappropriate behavior for royalty, if that is indeed what I am.”

“I thought we agreed a long time ago that we were past such formalities?” He reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, but she leaned away from him, and his hand fell back to his side.

“That was before,” she said faintly. “Before everything changed in that throne room. Before our talk on the ship. I am not yours to worry about anymore.”

Callan swallowed thickly. “I know things between us are unknown right now, Tava, but that does not mean I do not care. That does not mean I will not be here if you need me.”

She reached for her throat, for an amulet that no longer sat there, before her hand fell back to her lap. “Do you know that when I sleep at night, I see you?” And, gods, the knife in his chest twisted in a little farther. “I see you on your knees as Alaric slowly drains the life from you. I know I should be haunted by the murders, by the violence that took your parents and Finn and Sloan, but I’m not.” Her voice broke in a small cry. “I do not sleep becauseI see you dying before me when I close my eyes, and you have not been here for any of that, Callan.”

She moved to stand, but Callan caught her hand, keeping her on the sofa. “I am sorry, Tava. I—”

“I am not seeking your apology,” she interrupted. “You are going through things just as horri?c. More than horri?c. I am not sel?sh enough to demand something of you when you are processing your own grief. I just cannot have an in-between, Callan. I cannot handle being able to depend on you for some things and not others. I cannot handle only having you when you allow me to.”

“Tava,” he breathed. “I did not know. I did not—”

“How could you know when you would not come around?” she asked, more tears spilling over. “And maybe Iamsel?sh for wishing you would have come around more, but I waited. I told you I wouldn’t wait, but I had been. I waited, trying to give you space and time, trying to help with Eva, trying to do and be what you needed. But the waiting hurts, Callan. It hurts, and I wish I were strong enough to endure it. I wish we did not have to leave things the way we did on that ship, but it seemed like the fastest way to end the hurt.”

She was speaking so fast, nearly in hysterics, more and more tears coursing down her face. Her eyes were wide and full of the pain she was speaking of, and Callan had never seen her like this. He had seen her bright and full of light. He had seen her frustrated and irritated. He had seen her so upset she had thrown a teacup and shattered it against a wall. But he had never seen her so raw and inconsolable.

That entire conversation on that ship had new meaning, and he should have seen it then. He should have seen the double meanings in her words, what she was truly trying to tell him. Another failure to add to the list as of late.

But right now, he would not fail at this. He pulled her back into him, and when she tried to resist, he held her tighter, dragging her right into his lap. She settled against him, her entire body shaking with her sobs, and he was fairly certain this was the ?rst time she had cried since that throne room. She’d held herself together, trying to be what everyone else needed her to be, trying to be what she thoughtheneeded her to be.

He didn’t know how long he held her until she fell asleep. What he did know as he stirred the next morning, Tava still in his armson that sofa, was that it was the ?rst night he had slept for longer than a few hours at a time.

The sound of movement had his eyes ?ying open to ?nd Drake asleep in Tava’s bed, and he had no idea when he had come into the room. Drake shifted in his sleep again before falling still once more, and Callan worked to keep his breathing slow and even, not wanting to wake Tava.

The book still lay open across the sofa, turned to the page of the drawing of Octavia Middell. The Tyndell siblings could try to deny it all they wanted, but as he stared at that picture, there was little doubt in Callan’s mind that he was holding the Princess of Rydeon in his arms.

The real question was how had they gotten there, and why had Lord Tyndell saved them?

Chapter 31

Talwyn

Abrax snorted a huff of dismay when she stepped from the air. It was the middle of the night, but it was the ?rst time she had been able to get away from Tarek.

Someone was with her at all times now, likely Alaric’s doing, she assumed. He hadn’t drained power from her since the ?rst time she had been brought to the Southern Islands, probably because he hadn’t had to use his power. No need to top off something that wasn’t being used regularly.

They had searched the jungle of this island for hours that day before Lord Tyndell had ?nally Traveled them all back to Baylorin. Talwyn hadn’t been able to Travel back to the White Halls for nearly two days. It had been another two days before she’d had enough power to make it here, but she’d been pretending otherwise. She’d been pretending her power was taking far longer to re?ll, not leaving her bed and asking Tarek for help with stupid things she absolutely did not need help with.

There had been one time when Nuri had stayed with her while Tarek had gone to report to Alaric. The look Nuri had given her told Talwyn the Night Child knew she was putting on a show, but she had been the one to tell her to “play the game” so she was going to godsdamn play it.

She had seen the small opening in the cliffs the moment they had set foot on the island four days ago. She had seen the way the vines that covered it moved unnaturally along the cliff wall, just the smallest amount, in a breeze that did not seem to touch anything else. Ashtine would not be in the middle of a godsdamnjungle. She would stay near the water where Abrax could help her escape if needed.

So she’d followed the others deep into the trees and swampy waters, looking for clues of this mysterious source of power, and played the game. “I am here to help her,” Talwyn said to the spirit animal, raising her palms placatingly. “I only want to help.”

“Let her pass, Abrax.”

The water horse stomped a hoof but moved to the side to reveal Ashtine standing barefoot in the rolling waves washing onto shore. She wore a pale blue, sleeveless gown that stopped at her ankles, and it was ?tted enough to show the tiny bump that had formed at the bottom of her abdomen. Her long, silver hair ?owed down her back, and in the moonlight, she looked like a goddess, even if she looked exhausted.

“Ashtine.” That was all Talwyn could think to say at ?nally laying eyes on her friend, seeing she was truly all right.

The princess’s head tilted. “I have no news, no insights, and the winds still do not speak to me. I still refuse to aid you unless you tell me what you require in the prison, and Nasima has not returned.”

“I did not come for any of that,” Talwyn said, taking a small step towards her.

“Those are the questions you have asked the last several times we have spoken. I simply desired to get them out of the way.”