Page 41 of Lady for Embers

“I am well aware,” Cassius said grimly, still studying the ?ames in his hand as if they held the answers to all his questions.

“Did you everwantto meet your parents?”

“Of course I wanted to know about them.”

“Knowing of them and actually meeting them are two very different things,” Cyrus replied.

“I think... ” Cassius sighed. “I think I had these versions of them built up in my mind, of what I hoped they were like. I know it’s childish. I was an orphan, for fuck’s sake. It was far more likely they didn’t want me. But as a kid, I liked to pretend otherwise. And I’ve just held on to that idealistic image, you know? I was forced to grow up far faster than other children, but on the nights when I was by myself, I’d let myself imagine what it would have been like to have even one parent who cared. It was nice to pretend. If only for a little while.”

“You don’t have to explain this to me, Cass,” Cyrus said. “You do not need to justify your feelings and thoughts about this to me or anyone else for that matter.”

Cassius nodded, tipping his head back against the mast behind them. Cyrus pulled the ?ames from his palm, moving the ?re to hover above them and casting a soft light in the night.

“It’s just the High Witch is... who she is. And maybe I’d be more inclined to give her a chance if I didn’t have these versions of them in my mind.”

“You are worried your father will be a disappointment like you have found your mother to be?”

Cassius huffed out a humorless laugh. “Maybe he has the same fear, huh? That I will be a disappointment. One would think I would be more worried about that than him being a disappointment to me.”

Ah. So this was the real issue ?nally coming to light.

“Anyone who ?nds you to be a disappointment is a fucking idiot,” Cyrus retorted. “You are a lethally trained assassin—”

“Exactly what every father hopes their child grows up to be,” Cassius said grimly.

“If anything, he’s going to be disappointed in your lack of manners. It’s rude to interrupt. Is that a Black Syndicate thing? Scarlett has the same issue.”

“Fucking prick,” Cassius muttered under his breath.

“Anyway,” Cyrus drawled. “Aside from the apparently unwanted assassin thing, you were a commander of the king’s armies at a very young age. You took on a Guardian role as a ten-year-old, and you are the Hand to one of the most powerful queens in the realm.” Cassius started to say something else, but Cyrus shot him a look, and Cass shut his mouth with a glare. “If those accomplishments aren’t enough, your loyalty knows no bounds. You rarely let your emotions cloud your judgment or get the better of you. You know how to both calm an irate and irrational bratty assassin and offer a queen sound advice. You willingly sacri?ced your life for hers and innocent children. Those are not the attributes of an assassin but the characteristics of a noble Hand, Guardian, and friend. If someone is disappointed in you forthat,then they can fuck all the way off. Just because you share blood with someone does not mean you are required to claim them as your father or mother. I would know.”

Cyrus suddenly realized the sky was beginning to lighten. It was nearly dawn, the night almost over, and another realization washed over him. “On top of all that,” he said, “you are incredibly adept at reading people and knowing when they need a distraction without drawing attention to it.”

Cassius shrugged like it was nothing. “I needed to talk about my father. You needed a distraction. Seemed like a good trade-off.”

But it wasn’t nothing. Ever since his shadow had fallen over him, Cyrus hadn’t once thought of the sea. He hadn’t been plagued by memories of Merrick or Thia. He hadn’t found himself wishing for Solembra.

And for the second time, it was because of the male sitting next to him.

“You’re tensing before each hit,” Eliza chastised Callan.

“Probably because a Fae warrior is swinging a godsdamn sword at me,” Callan bit back.

“How else would you train?” Eliza retorted. “You need to stay loose. You react faster that way. This is basic stuff, princeling. Were you coddled in your training as well?”

Cyrus huffed a laugh from where he was seated on a step as Callan cursed the general under his breath. She was making him spar with Rayner, which was probably the right move. Rayner wouldn’t necessarily go easy on the mortal prince, but he would certainly be nicer than he would. Or Eliza. Or Sorin.

Rayner was de?nitely the best choice.

“Didn’t they warn you she was an ass when training?” Scarlett asked, sheathing her long knife at her side and moving to get a drink of water.

They had been training for the last hour, the sun trying its hardest to peek out of the clouds overhead on another dreary morning. They’d taken to sparring in rotation. There simply wasn’t enough room for all of them to spar at the same time. Scarlett had just ?nished facing off with Sawyer, who was making his way to his brother. Briar was speaking quietly with Sorin and Luan off to the side now. They’d go into meetings this afternoon, strategizing and planning. Or trying to plan. The fact of the matter was no one knew what to expect when they ?nally reached Avonleya.

He glanced over at Cassius, who was speaking with the Tyndell siblings. That was another thing Cyrus had spent time contemplating during those night watches. For the life of him, he could not ?gure out why the Lord had claimed them as his children. There had to be a reason. Nothing these Maraan bastards did was without a reason. All of their movements were carefully orchestrated like a chess match, each move calculated and with purpose. He had spent hours going back and forth on strategy with Scarlett, trying to understand the Maraans and how they thought. More than once he’d had to take a break when Scarlett would elaborate on methods used to train her or the motives of Alaric. He understood now how she was this broken girl Sorin had brought back from the mortal lands. He understood to an extent how thoroughly Alaric had made sure he was rooted in her psyche. It was brilliant if Cyrus was being honest. Completely demented but psychotically brilliant in making sure he retained as much control over her as possible.

But that brilliance was rooted in desperation, and if Cyrus could ?gure out what exactly was driving him, they could exploit thatto no end. Scarlett didn’t know though. All they knew was that Alaric was running out of time before he faced the wrath of Achaz. The master had a Master, and his Master was getting pissed. They wanted whatever was being kept hidden in Avonleya, and if that was the motivation, then they would make damn sure they got there ?rst.

The last three nights, though, he hadn’t needed to keep his mind as busy. Cassius had taken to joining him for the night watch. It had become an unspoken thing between them, and he would appear at the foredeck shortly after Cyrus had changed out with whoever had been on watch before him. And that extra presence kept him grounded and the memories at bay. He would sleep later this evening for the few hours that were required of a Fae not using much magic.

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