Page 128 of Lady of Ashes

Games. She always spoke of how the Assassin Lord liked to play games, and he was playing one now. This was how he controlled her. This was how he broke her. Every fucking time. Planting these thoughts, then watching them grow and overtake every part of her being like a godsdamn weed in a garden, choking out all the things that could provide nourishment. This was why he never bothered with physical torture when she was chained to his dungeon study wall. His attacks were all mental, all emotional. They cut deeper than any blade would. He wormed his way into every thought, every relationship she had, and did this shit because he knew where the cracks in her armor were. He knew which spots were weakest, which parts would crumble with just the right amount of pressure.

And he didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know what words would make it better, or how to argue against the fact that the people in her life would give their lives for her, because they would. Without a second thought, his Court, Briar’s Court, Cassius, all of them would give their lives to save hers.

But not one of them would look at it as a curse.

He could tell her that until he was blue in the face, and it wouldn’t matter. Not right now. So instead he said what he always said to her on the hard days.

“You are my necessity, Scarlett.”

“And by you being mine, I feel as though I am leading you toslaughter, along with everyone else who follows us,” she answered, barely audible.

Silence settled around them, the sky growing brighter as the sun rose higher. He settled back onto his back in the sand and reached over, taking her hand in his, squeezing her ?ngers gently, wishing he could take the weight of her world from her shoulders, yet knowing she would never let him.

“You are not alone in this, Scarlett,” he said, watching a gull soar overhead.

“Maybe I should be,” she answered.

And that was his tipping point. Those four words had him pushing back up onto his elbow and forcing her gaze to his once more. “Do not let him do this to you, Scarlett. Do not give him this kind of power over you. You say he is no longer your master? Then do not let him be.”

“He’s in my head, Sorin,” she whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. “For years, he’s said things, guided me to think a certain way, feel certain things. I can’t get him out. He’s so loud.”

“Then let me be louder, Love,” Sorin replied. “When he is all- consuming, come to me, and let me be more. Let me consume you so there is nothing left for him to have.”

“I do not deserve you,” she rasped, more tears sliding down her face.

“You deserve every star and more,” he replied. “Every star in the dark, forgotten parts of the sky, you deserve each and every one of them. What you do not deserve is to have some fucking bastard tell you that your mere existence is a curse on those who know you, whochooseto be in your life. What you do not deserve, Scarlett, is to think you are undeserving of having people love you, care for you. What you do not deserve is thinking you are better off alone.”

A small sob escaped her lips and had him bringing his face closer to hers so that their noses were almost touching.

“The thing is, Scarlett, even if you wanted to be alone, that is no longer an option because I will always come for you, always ?nd you, and always remind you who you do belong to.”

“I am yours,” she whispered, her breath a whisper across his lips.

“You aremine,” he con?rmed. “So if anyone gets to consume you, Scarlett, it will be me. And if that is my curse, I will cross the Veil the luckiest son of a bitch to have ever walked this world, andthen I will hunt you down in the After to consume you all over again.”

Something escaped her that was a cross between a laugh and a sob, and his lips met hers to capture the sound. He pulled away after a few seconds, settling back down on his back, her hand still wrapped in his.

Some time later, two sets of boots stopped above them, a head of coppery-red hair and one of dark chestnut hair peering down at them.

“You missed breakfast, Darling,” Cyrus drawled to Scarlett, his hair falling into his golden eyes. “I thought for sure you were lying dead somewhere.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes, releasing Sorin’s hand and pushing herself up into a sitting position. “I am clearly not. Did you bring me something to eat?”

Sorin was on his feet a moment later, reaching down to pull her up as Cyrus arched a brow at her. “Am I supposed to wait on you hand and foot?”

“I am your queen,” she shot back, brushing sand off the back of her pants.

“That I thought was dead,” Cyrus countered. “Why would I bring a dead queen food?”

“For the love of Anala. Why must you always speak?” Eliza grumbled, handing over a folded cloth that was indeed wrapped around a few biscuits, keeping them warm. “Rayner told us you were down here,” she explained.

Cyrus smirked, handing over a couple of pears he was carrying, and Scarlett snatched one out of his grip, immediately biting into it.

“See, this is why I thought you were dead. You always eat like you’re a starving wildcat, so I could not fathom how you could miss breakfast,” Cyrus teased drolly.

Scarlett ?ipped him her middle ?nger, taking another bite of her pear. “Whatareyou two doing down here?” Eliza asked, glancing between Scarlett and Sorin.

“Pondering what the stars do when we cannot see them,” Scarlett sighed, her gaze going back out over the sea as she ate her fruit.

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