Page 113 of Lady of Ashes

Flames and sparks and embers ?ew from every strike.

“Cyrus,” she said between breaths as he advanced, ?re ?aring in his golden irises. “I cannot go into a meeting with Talwyn with you not speaking to me. I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I will do whatever you require of me to prove it to you, but I need you, Cyrus. I need you as surely as I need Sorin. I need you as much as I need Cassius. You are my family—”

She wasn’t prepared for the power that he ampli?ed down his sword when it met her blade this time. She went ?ying through the air yet again, but this time she landed on her back, the air forced from her lungs. She coughed, trying to catch her breath, biting down on the groan of pain that ?ared up her spine. Her sword was afew feet away, but as she reached for it, a booted foot settled on her wrist. She looked up into Cyrus’s face, his own sword discarded. He didn’t put his full weight on her arm, but he made it clear he would not allow her to get her weapon.

She heard Sorin call to him in warning, and Cyrus ?ipped him off over his shoulder as he came closer and dropped into a crouch beside her head, his hands hanging loosely between his knees.

“I grew up on the streets. Not in Solembra, but in a port city on the west coast called Aelyndee. I actually hate being at the Black Halls, so close to the sea,” he said, his tone cold and grave. The little air Scarlett had been able to get down caught in her throat. She knew Cyrus had been an orphan, had grown up poor, but he had never spoken of it. Not to her, at least.

“My mother left me and my father as soon as I was weaned from her breast,” he continued. “My father was killed when he was trying to steal a loaf of bread from the market for me. I was two and hadn’t eaten in three days. My ?rst memories are of an aching belly, rife with hunger, and hiding in the back of my father’s cart while I heard him beg for mercy, saying he was just trying to feed his boy.”

Scarlett couldn’t move. She hardly dared to breathe. Cyrus was staring off into the distance, out at the sea.

“Vagrants would take me in from time to time when I was younger, but as I got older, by the age of six, no one wanted to be burdened with me. I worked at the docks when I could. I stole when I couldn’t. I was beaten up by other boys as often as I was doing the beating.

“One day, when I was eleven, I was on the run. I had stolen, of all fucking things, a loaf of bread and had almost gotten caught, just like my father had. Another boy whistled at me from a second-story window, and in seconds I had managed to climb a drainpipe and slip inside. I heard the market guards rush by a few seconds later. I shared that loaf of bread with that boy. His name was Merrik, and from that day on, we were inseparable. You can steal a lot more shit when you have someone causing a distraction, and we took turns being the decoy. You can steal even more when you learn to play on people’s weaknesses. You can take what you want when you learn that desperate people will do desperate things when shoved into a corner. We were a team. We found a place by the docks, and we made it our home. He was the ?rst friend I ever had. The ?rstperson I ever loved. Eventually, he was my ?rst everything. He was the only family I needed.

“Until he decided he could handle a job on his own. It was seven years later. We were still young, even by mortal standards, but we’d both grown into our power, learned to wield our flames together. As best as we could without formal instruction, anyway. We had learned of a wealthy merchant from the capital who was going to be touring the town and had spent the last few days plotting out the best ways to rob him. But Merrik had gotten a tip that he was going to be arriving early, that very afternoon to be exact. He ended up trailing the carriage of the Fae merchant to the docks, and when the merchant was touring a ship, he made the last-second decision to rob him right then, rather than wait for me.

“I was out doing another job. It was a standard job. One we did every month, collecting on a few of our … investments. He knew where to ?nd me. He could have come and gotten me. We could have robbed that merchant blind together with very little effort, but he decided he didn’t have time to run it by me ?rst. He didn’t have time to come ?nd me, to make sure all the details were covered. He got caught. They shackled weights to his ankles and threw him from the end of the docks. After they beat him within an inch of his life, of course. Because we were nothing, after all. Just urchins that had run wild on the streets and now were thieves and criminals.”

Scarlett swallowed back the tears burning the back of her eyes, the pain in her spine completely forgotten.

“I learned of his fate from another boy later that night. I packed up our little home, leaving all of his things behind, and left Aelyndee that same night. I trusted no one. For years. Decades. Until an Ash Rider intercepted me pick-pocketing coin in a tavern in a no-name town at the base of the Fiera Mountains. I later learned he’d been watching me for several months. The Fire Court Royal had been receiving complaints from all over the Court of coin and other valuables mysteriously going missing. The Fire Prince had handed the task over to his Ash Rider. Rayner, being the nosy bastard that he is, had his various spies search into my past, when he ?gured out that I was the one single-handedly stealing from all these people as I wandered around the Court, never knowing a home. There wasn’t much to ?nd out about me, but what was there, he found it. I was introduced to Sorin, later Thia, and, youknow the rest. But do you know what runs through my mind to this day, Scarlett?” he asked, ?nally bringing his eyes back to hers.

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

“If Merrik had just come and found me, if he had waited, if he had run his plan by me, I would have seen the holes. We would have altered the plans and pocketed a fuck ton of coin. If he had justfucking said something, everything could have been different.

“I don’t live in the past. I don’t wallow in regrets or linger on what could have been. But the family that I have lost in my life, barring my mother, if you can even call her that, their losses could have all been avoided if someone had just fucking said something. If my father had set his pride aside, and explained how he needed food for his starving son to others on the streets, someone would have fed his child. If Merrik had waited, found me, and told me about his change of plans, we would have done the job together and survived. If Thia hadn’t been as stubborn as you are, if she would have used her godsdamn head andsaid somethingto Sorin instead of thinking she could handle a clan of Night Children largely on her own and agreeing to his insane plan, my soul would still be whole.

“I do not give the term ‘family’ to people lightly. Not after Merrik. In fact, only a handful of others have managed to obtain such a status in my life, but I gave it to you. The moment you looked up at me and said ‘hi’ when I called you Darling. And all I could think while you were gone, is that if you would havesaid something, everything could have been different.”

“I am sorry, Cyrus,” Scarlett whispered from where she lay in the dirt. Her heart was breaking.

So much loss. So much hurt.

He’d been alone, a broken little boy. He’d found love, then lost it. Then he’d been alone again, still just as broken. He’d wandered, looking for a home, until home had found him. Where he found so much love. Where he’d only survived the loss of his truest love because of the love of the rest of them.

“Do you know why I am the Fire Court Second, Scarlett?” he asked. When she shook her head again, he looked away, back out at the sea once more. “It is not because I am the most-skilled warrior or because I have some vast knowledge of politics. I have learned both of those skills, yes, but I am the Fire Court Second because I know what desperation does to a person. I know a desperate man will do whatever he must to feed his family. I know that a desperate general will make rash decisions when he is on the brink of losing a war. I know a desperate king will choose his throne over his people the vast majority of the time. I know wealthy businessmen will make illegal deals to keep their riches. I know people in poverty will do the same. I know how to think like the desperate and exploit those weaknesses, because that’s what I did. For decades. I can anticipate how people will react, and Sorin gave me a place to use those skills to help people rather than exploit them. Our Court works together— utilizing my shrewdness, Eliza’s battle strategies, Rayner’s gathered intelligence, and Sorin’s power and title.”

His eyes came back to hers, the ?ames in them having banked long ago while he had been speaking. “We are a family. We choose each other. We claim each other. We challenge each other, push each other, listen to each other. But it only works because we trust each other. And when we do not do those things? That is when we break. That is when unnecessary tragedy is allowed to bloom.”

“I trust you, Cyrus,” Scarlett whispered. “I do. I trust all of you.”

“Do you, Darling?” he asked, and Scarlett held in the sob of relief when he called her that. “Do you trust Sorin and Briar when they offer you advice on ruling? Do you trust Rayner to gather necessary information for you? Do you trust Eliza to devise battle plans? Do you trust me enough to strategize with me and include me in your insanely brilliant plans? We are not trying to tell you what to do, Scarlett. We simply want to be beside you while you do it. Because we are a family.”

Scarlett pushed herself up out of the dirt and ?ung her arms around Cyrus’s neck, his arms coming around her just as tightly.

“We were all alone at some point, Scarlett,” he said into her hair. “All of us have experienced being only able to depend on oneself. We have all had to learn to trust others, to let ourselves depend on others. But you are a queen. You need to get there faster than we did.”

She nodded into his neck. “I understand,” she whispered.

He held her tightly for another few moments and then he said, “Do we need to ?nd Beatrix to heal you after I threw you across the pit?”

She lurched back, ?nding a smirk on his lips. “I’m already healing, jackass. Perks of being Avonleyan, when my power is fully replenished.”

Cyrus pushed to his feet, helping Scarlett to her own. He retrieved her sword for her before going to gather his things. Sorin was already striding toward her. “You need to start training to ?ght with your magic, now that you can control it.”

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