Page 91 of Hits Different

Brandon leans forward, close enough for me to smell the earthy musk of his aftershave. “Here’s the thing. I’m kind of on a date right now”.

I feel my cheeks burn. “Got it”.

“It’s not serious yet, but it could be”. Has his voice always sounded like it could melt butter? “Probably best I don’t go changing my sexuality in the middle of things. Could get confusing”.A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, “Where did all this come from?”

“Gina Moretti”. He nods. “Chick from the Rosebud. Millie”.

“I explained about the girl from the Rosebud”.

“You said that you knew I was there”. I take a sip of my beer. He rubs the back of his head, casting long shadows up the wall behind him. “Not the fullest explanation I’ve ever heard”.

“Part of me wanted to provoke some kind of reaction. The other part”, he looks sheepish, “Thought that if you really did hate who you thought I was, that seeing me making out with a girl might make you feel better about talking to me”.

Something crushes me inside. That Brandon felt he had to cover up who he was, just so I’d talk to him. “And with all due respect to your ex-girlfriend, our hook up was encouraged by you. Gina Moretti was a kiss in a bathroom stall at a time when I thought kissing a girl in a bathroom stall might decomplicate my life, because I’d fallen in love with someone I could never have”.

I’m such a moron.

Brandon takes a swig of his beer. “My hetero romantic history all leads back to you”.

Oh. “I’m sorry. I’m a little out of my comfort zone”. I admit. “This is all new for me”.

“Dating a guy?”

“Dating someone I actually like”.

“That part is new for me too”, he whispers back.

Underneath the table, his foot finds mine. And just like that, my heart skips a beat. I’m gonna need a defibrillator if this keeps up. “Normally I’d talk to my best friend about this kind of stuff”.

The thing is, I’m having an awesome time. And that’s kind of freaking me out. I want to do this again. That opens the door to so many other questions. Coming out. Telling my parents. My friends. The guys from the gym. Navigating how to be me when I’m with him.

It must be playing across my face. Brandon stares at me for a moment like he’s weighing something up. “Be right back”. He hops up and disappears towards the bathroom.

A moment later, my cell phone rings.

“Carter?” I glance towards the bathrooms but he’s nowhere in sight. “Where are you?”

“Just chilling at home playing video games. How’s your date going?”

I raise my eyebrows. “Pretty good so far. Though he did just leave me to go the bathroom. Hopefully he’s not jumping out the window”. My voice drops a beat. “Hopefully I didn’t give him a reason to”.

“Intriguing. Sounds like something’s on your mind”. A warm feeling runs through me. “Something that you might want to talk about with your best friend, rather than your date?”

“I’m a little intimidated right now”.

“By his good looks?”

“I didn’t say he was good-looking”.

“It’s heavily implied in your tone”.

I close my eyes, “I just realised how much I like him. And that’s making me say stupid things. Because I’m excited, but a little scared”.

“Of getting hurt?”

“Of not being able to be one hundred per cent myself around him”. There, I said it. “There’s things he doesn’t know. And I don’t want him to run”.

“I thought he told you before he couldn’t do that”.

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