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ParkerDiRocky

I thought you were like that but hoped I was wrong.

ParkerDiRocky

I love Millie.

I’m not interested in dudes. If you are, that’s your problem.

ParkerDiRocky

It’s sick, Carter.

Get some fucking help.

Dodger14 is offline and may not respond.

Fuck. How could I? I don’t even remember typing that, let alone thinking it.

I don’t even feel like that. At all.

Panic rising, I grab my phone. There’s 2% battery left but I call Brandon’s number, my stomach twisting impatiently. It rings once, then cuts off. I redial immediately, but this time an automated voice tells me his phone has been switched off.

I dial his landline. “Senator, it’s Parker. Could I talk to Brandon? It’s really important”.

“No, Parker. You can’t”. There’s a pause, “Don’t call here anymore”.

“Please, I just need to explain…”

“Stay the hell away from my son, Parker”.

The phone clicks dead, and the ground crumbles beneath my feet. Brandon’s tie is still wrapped around my knuckles. I undo it, and it drops to the floor.

Chapter 22

Trials

Parker

I’ve never forgiven myself for what I said to Brandon.

I don’t even remember doing it, but that’s no excuse. It haunts me. When I see him again, I need to get it right. Say it right. Whatever ‘right’ looks like.

I remember his face perfectly. A picture of anguish and desire. How he made me feel like I was living and dying at the same time. And now, I didn’t know where we stood.

Were we ‘not speaking’ again, or had we just not spoken?

More importantly, why didn’t I find it strange that I was the one who instigated things. Because I know that I did. We had both wanted it, but I had started it, and finished it.

Determined to clear my head, I smash through a workout and then hit the showers. Clad in just a towel, I wipe condensation from the mirror with my palm, revealing a blurred version of myself that’s closer to reality than I dare admit.

There’s a single truth that I’m finding harder and harder to deny, even to myself.

I kissed Brandon. And he kissed me back.

And I wanted him to.

And now it feels unfinished. Like we left the movie before the mid-credit spoiler. And if I’m being really honest with myself, I know what I want to happen.

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