Gradually the voices get further away. Parker doesn’t move. A wave of furious indignance runs through me. “That”, I say, “Was fucked up”.
“It’s fine”, the bulge in his jaw contracts stubbornly. “He’s the boss. He's got every right”.
“To talk about you that way? The hell he does”. Parker’s always been a master at hiding the things that hurt him the deepest. He pulls on his shirt roughly. “Try your engine”.
I open the door and turn the key in the ignition. A second later, the engine roars to life. “Graduand”, he says suddenly. “The word for when you’ve completed school but not graduated yet”.
“Smartass”. He closes my door, and comes to stand next to me.
“Back to that night. You’re saying that you told me you were gay? Like, you actually said the words?” His eyes search mine. “I’m sorry, man. I’d had a lot to drink. I don’t remember”. Anxiety is written all over his face. “I didn’t say anything bad, did I?”
I can’t speak.
I told him that I had feelings for him.And he has no idea.
He screws up his face. “That whole summer was weird. I should have reached out, but I just figured you were pissed, and we’d work it out like we always did. But then you went on social media blackout. I came by your house and your dad told me you’d left for early admission, and I just figured”, he breaks off, suddenly looking embarrassed.
“That I didn’t want to be found?” I say, thinking back to the shame that had propelled me across state lines three weeks early.
“No. That either you’d moved on, or”, he swallows, “That you’d figured out that everyone was right, and you were better off without me in your life”.
There’s a knot in my throat. He doesn’t remember what happened. What I did. What he said. It’s all cut out, like a film reel exposed to daylight.
We’ve got a second chance.
“I never thought that”,Not even when I couldn’t have you. “I promise”.
“I really fucking missed you”. He holds out his hand. “Friends again? Please”.
I reach forward to shake his hand, but he pulls me into a huge hug. These last three years, all I’ve ever really wanted was my best friend back. I didn’t realise how lonely I was without him until now.
He throws an arm over my shoulder, and we head back towards Summit chatting the whole way. No matter what feelings might be pushing their way to the surface, I have to bury them.
And I have to forgive him for what he did. For what he doesn’t even remember.
Because I can’t lose him again.
Chapter 12
Champagne Problems
Three Years Earlier
Brandon
“Senator Greenwood, let me introduce my son”. The instruction hidden within my dad’s pleasantries is unmistakable, even over the steel band. I adjust my smile without missing a beat, and excuse myself from my friends.
“Congratulations on your graduation, Brandon”, Senator Greenwood shakes my hand warmly. “Though I’m surprised you don’t have more exciting plans than spending such a monumental night at a political fundraiser”.
“Brandon knows how lucky he is to be exposed to such influential members of the community”, my mother cuts in smoothly, refilling the Senator’s glass. She’s dressed the part, down to the pearls excised from my grandmother’s vault. “Particularly when he hopes to intern at Winchester and Associates this summer”.
I smile, and subtly check my watch. My parent’s parties usually go into the early hours, and I’ve got plans to meet Parker on the beach. I can make it there and back before anyone notices I’ve gone.
“Is that so? I worked there myself, back in the dark ages”. Senator Greenwood winks at me. “Is law where you see your future, Brandon?”
“Absolutely”, I say, after a beat.
“But?” the Senator prompts.