Page 2 of Hits Different

It explains why the pressure is getting to him. And why he’s broken his clean sheet by letting in his only two goals of the season.

“Do me a favour”, I say discreetly, “Take some deep breaths”. I pass over an energy drink that he takes with shaking hands.

“I can’t believe I let in that penalty”, he says between swigs. His voice threatens to crack. “I suck. I’m the worst”.

“Watch your mouth. That’s our goalie you’re talking about”, I place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “The only reason we’re in the finals in the first place is because of your performance this season. So what if you let in a couple of goals tonight? It keeps things interesting”.

I nudge him in the ribs and he cracks a slight smile. I revert to my best Coach impression, “We win as a team, and we lose as a team. And we ain’t losers”.

I glance over at Coach Shah, who is infamouslynota fan of my infamous impression of him, but he’s huddled with his staff readying a last-minute pep talk. I return my attention to Billy.

“Don’t get in your own head. Besides, you’re not doing any worse than Freddie”, I say loudly, shooting him a wink. “We’ve all heard the chants. Dyer couldn’t even score in a brothel”.

Despite the tension, a few of the guys break into laughter.

Freddie Dyer and I actually went to the same high school, although he transferred in as a senior so we didn’t grow up together. He’s a defender, but don’t hold that against him. He was the first person to make a point of saying he was cool with a gay dude being on the team, without even really saying it at all.

It’s not that my sexuality is a secret. I just have to be smart about what I do and who I’m seen with. When your father works in politics and your mother is a one-time Hollywood actress turned tabloid favourite, people take more than a casual interest.

One day, when the guys were lounging around talking about girls and planning the next team social, Freddie casually reminded everyone of the rules: that this night was for players only. No girlfriends or boyfriends. He hadn’t even looked at me when he’d said it.

But somehow, it set a tone. Don’t ask, don’t tell. And we’ve all been living that way ever since. Even though there are a handful of openly gay professional players, like my hero Brad Fleming, I still want to make sure that when I come out publicly, I do it properly.

I catch myself. I’m thinking too far ahead. Between training, my course load and my mandatory attendance at various political events, I don’t exactly have time for a personal life. Never mind a boyfriend.

Or any kind of friend, really.

But if I was in the market for a best friend, Freddie would be my guy.

Even if he did just roll up his sweaty jersey and throw it right in my face.

“It’s hard to concentrate with your fan-club screaming every time you flash your abs. Which is soblatant, by the way, that the referee should book you for distraction”. He lowers his voice. “Someone should put those girls out of their misery”.

“Jealousy is a very unattractive trait, Dyer”, I meet Freddie’s grin, shove him and he shoves me back. “Even worse than hitting the crossbar”.

“The sun was in my eyes, and don’t change the subject”. I push my head through a fresh shirt. When I reappear, there’s an annoying I-know-what-you-did-last-summer smile playing over his face. “The linesman’s doing a sterling job, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’ve been focusing on the game”, I say innocently, “But I hope my nocturnal exploits haven’t offended your delicate monogamous sensibilities”.

“Not at all. I loved sharing with Billy. Snuggling him through his night terrors was the perfect way to spend an evening”, Freddie balances on my shoulder to stretch his hamstring, “I just wanted to check that you’re not taking one for the team in theliteralsense, that’s all”.

Freddie’s pretty much the only dude on the team that I can joke around with like this. Everyone’s cool, but that’s because I’m on top of my game right now. But, I know the kind of things that could happen if I were to evernotbe on top of my game. How easily I could be out of here.

Maybe I’m not being fair. We’re a family here, after all. And every family needs its black sheep.

“Because you do enough for the team already”, Freddie continues, reading my mind, “We don’t need you to screw our way into the trophy cabinet”.

“Now you tell me”. I grin, but truthfully, last night’s hookup was just a one-time thing. It always is because anything more than that isn’t on the table.

I caught feelings once, and it burnt me so badly that I was left unrecognisable.

Even to myself.

“As if having half the cheerleading squad chanting for you isn’t a distraction. Sabrina has got them well trained. She’s like a drill sergeant with pompoms”. Sabrina is Freddie’s girlfriend. They’ve been together since they were kids. She was literally his girl next door. It’s wholesome. Very wholesome.

If you like that sort of thing.

“And you’re sure that this particularly enthusiastic performance has nothing to do with the fact that Parker Di Rossi is watching from the away end?”