Page 125 of Hits Different

He punctuates the last four words.If. I. Want. It.

“I spent my whole life wanting it”. Parker says softly. “Zara’s put effort into training me. She didn’t have to do that”.

“That wasn’t what she asked”. I watch it all play out on his face. “You don’t need to decide now. You don’t need to do anything tonight. The only thing we need to do tonight is survive it. That’s the goal”.

He collapses into me, as I wrap my arms around him. The entire gesture is a non-stop assault on the senses. Sweaty. Battered. Strong.

“You were there”. His low husky tone snaps me back to the present. It’s posed as a question but we both know it’s not. Where the hell else would I be?

“You were just about worth the price of admission”. I hold up my wrist. My attendance has been stamped in red on the back of my hand. “Though someone needs a word with the caterer. My hotdog was criminally undercooked”.

“I meant my dad’s funeral. I always thought you weren’t there. But you were”.

Silence fills the space left by his question.“How did you know?”

“I felt you. Same way I felt you tonight. I didn’t know it was you, then. Thanks. For then. For now”, He pauses. “You’re always there. For the big stuff. For the stuff that matters”.

“Your mom said the funeral was family only, but you were my family. And I was proud of you, standing up like that. You gave him such an incredible tribute. There’s no way he’s not been with you this whole time”.

“Even if I’m not a fighter?”

“You are a goddam warrior, Parker”.

He shifts suddenly. “What were you saying to Darwin? I saw you talking to him”.

“I was just introducing myself”, I shrug. “And reminding him that Darwin isn’t the only name with money and influence around here. The Carter name might not carry theprestigeit once did, but we’re still pretty powerful. And I’m in your corner”. I see him glow from the inside out. “You havepeoplein your corner. He’s not going to fuck with you again”.

“My boy is abadass”.

“That’s my whole brand. Badass. With high functioning anxiety”.

“Okay, your turn”, Parker shifts in his seat to look at me. “Truth only please”.

“Tonight’s about you”.

“It’s about us”.

The part of me that’s determined to resist any attempt at getting inside my head isn’t as loud as it used to be. Freddie’s seen to that. “I’ve always worried that there wasn’t a way to live my life openly and be a professional soccer player at the same time”.Let him in, Brandon. “When I was single, it didn’t matter. But I’m not anymore. And I don’t know if I’m tough enough”.

“Tough enough?” Parker gives a low whistle. “Carter, you’re one of the toughest motherfuckers I’ve ever met. And I spent most of my night locked in a cage fighting with another dude”.

I’m half laughing. “I’m not sure that’s a fair use of the adjective”.

“There’s a million different ways to be tough. I’ve seen you handle things that would bring most of the guys I train with to tears. Shit with your parents. You dad’s political enemies. Hell, your dad’s political friends. Your mom. The press. The parents at the school gates. And here you are”.

“If I can’t play soccer, and I lose my family. What’s left?”

“You”, his eyes melt into my soul. “And that’s so much more than enough”.

It’s going to be tough, I know that. But we’re tougher. Together. “You’re going to make me cry”.

“That’s the idea. I already cried. It’ll make us even”.

“Let’s make a deal. We don’t make each other cry”. We shake hands, then seal the deal with a kiss. The words fall out so easily. “I love you”.

“I love you too”, Parker takes my face with his hands. “So very fucking much”.

We unbuckle our seatbelts. “What a freaking day, right?”

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