Page 111 of Hits Different

“What does that matter?”

“Pounding dudes doesn’t exactly scream gay”.

“I’d say that’s exactly what it screams”. More laughter. My hand freezes on the stall door handle. Time was I’d confront them. Shut this down. But something’s stopping me. The door swings open. “Problem, gentlemen?”

Simon.Oh God. How much had he heard? “Nothing, boss. Just talking best way to improve reaction times with Martin”.

“Is that right?” Simon’s tone is unreadable. “You should ask Carter. His reaction times are the best I’ve ever seen”.

“That’s a good ide—”

“In the meantime, back to work”. Simon cuts him off, “And by work, I mean re-reading the entire Summit handbook from start to finish, beginning with Customer Service for Idiots, and ending with Learning Basic Fucking Manners. Got it?”

Footsteps scatter and the door closes. I take a deep breath and unlock the door. Simon is waiting for me, leaning against the faucet. His arms are loosely folded. Glasses pushed back onto his nose. I swallow. “Sorry about that”.

“You have nothing to apologise for. I’m only sorry that clearly my staff haven’t had sufficient EDI training. Something I will be remedying immediately”. I splash cold water on my face. “How are you, Brandon? You’re having a challenging week”.

“I’m fine”, I say automatically. He doesn’t look convinced. “You must be pretty mad at me”.

“Why doeseveryonealways think that I’m mad at them?” Simon looks exasperated. “If it’s not Parker thinking I’m going to—never mind. Why would I be mad at you?”

“Bringing the wrong kind of attention to Summit”.

“When it comes to Summit, minor press attention is the least of my concerns”, Simon takes off his glasses. “Believe me. Anything else?”

“Bringing the wrong kind of attention to Parker”.

“Ah. That. I saw the pictures. I could recognise his slouch a mile off”. Simon polishes his glasses, “But that’s for him to talk to me about, if and when he’s ready. It’s obvious that he cares a great deal about you. I knew that before I saw the pictures”.

Warmth runs through me.

Simon leans against the sink, thoughtfully. “When my aunt called and asked me to give him a job, I was reluctant. After all that business at his college, I was really worried. That’s why I set him up with Zara, although that’s backfired slightly”. Simon exhales. “The idea was that he’d get the aggression out of his system, not make a whole career of it”.

“He’s had his heart set on MMA long before you come along. It’s for his dad”, I say, as an afterthought. “You understand that, right?”

“Not as well as you seem to”, Simon scans my face. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“When Parker’s dad died, he took part of Parker with him”, I say carefully, “Parker’s convinced himself that the only way to make it all okay is to live out his dad’s legacy. But that’s not going to work. He can win as many fights as he likes. It’s not going to bring Alberto back. It’s not going to make the pain go away”.

“I think you might be overstating it a little”. Simon pauses, looking uncomfortable.

I take a deep breath. “You just referenced his aggression. What do you think fuels it? It doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s the guilt. Guilt over his dad dying. Guilt over his dad never having accomplished his dreams. Guilt over not being worth what he thinks his parents gave up to have him”.

“But, he can’t possibly—“ Simon is open mouthed. “That doesn’t make any sense”.

“Of course it doesn’t. But grief doesn’t make sense”.

“I wasn’t there for him in the way that I should have been after his father died”, Simon flushes guiltily. “I’ve always wondered if he resents me for it”.

“He’s never said that”. I hesitate, “But he likes it here. More than he lets on”.

“Really?”

“Has he ever shown you his notebook?” Simon shakes his head. “Next time you go by his desk, take a sneaky look. It’s brown moleskin. There are a hundred ideas in there. Some are utterly bonkers, but some of them are pretty good”. I pause. “Was Parker what you came in here to talk about?”

“What? Oh, no. I was looking for you, actually”, Simon looks rattled. “I wanted to let you know that the Summit will no longer be hosting the MLS scouts in a few weeks. I’m sorry”.

It’s happening. One rumour and I’m done. I knew this was coming.

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