Page 47 of Speed

“Brody—” Noah started.

“I know how it sounds,” I said, my words rushing out as if I could outrun the weight of them. “But it’s not like I’m going to drop dead tomorrow. It’s just there, Noah. It’s this thing I have to live with now. And yeah, it sucks, but it’s not… it’s not like I’m fragile or something.”

Noah stared at me; his expression unreadable.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, my voice quieter, almost a whisper.

Noah didn’t answer right away. Instead, he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze never leaving mine. “I’m thinking… that must’ve been a lot to carry yourself.”

I blinked, thrown off by his response. Of all the things he could’ve said, I hadn’t expected that. Not pity, not concern—just some random thing about me.

“It’s not?—”

“Brody, it’s okay to say it’s hard. It doesn’t make you weak to admit that.”

His words hit me like a punch to the chest, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak because he was right. Itwashard. And I’d spent months pretending it wasn’t, pretending I could handle it all on my own. But now? Sitting here, looking at him, it felt as if it was the hardest thing in the entire fucking world, and that scared me almost as much as the aneurysm itself.

“Don’t treat me like I’m breakable,” I said. “I’m not dying. I’m alive, and I can still do things. I don’t always need to be asked if I’m okay. I’m not scared of it, and it doesn’t stop me from sleeping like a freaking baby at night, okay?”

Noah stayed silent, his gaze steady on mine as I kept going, laying out the facts. If I made it sound routine, it wouldn’t feel so heavy.

“I have regular checks. There’s a medic alert card in my wallet in case I’m found unconscious somewhere. And yeah, I have a DNR on file, just in case, and Logan’s my proxy for everything medical. You wouldn’t have to get involved in any of it. It’s all taken care of.”

Noah nodded, listening, and for a second, I thought I’d gotten through to him. He’d accept it for what it was, leave it alone, and maybe ask me to go, and that was something I was prepared for. But then, he rolled his eyes and leaned back, crossing his arms.

“Wow, Brody. That’s so comforting,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m really reassured knowing you’ve planned for all your worst-case scenarios.”

Irritation flared in my chest. “I’m being practical.”

“No,” Noah said, shaking his head. “You’re trying to convince me and yourself that you’ve got this under control. But, Brody, pretending it doesn’t scare the hell out of you isn’t fooling me.”

His words hit harder than I wanted to admit, but I couldn’t let him see that. Instead, I crossed my arms and leaned back, matching his posture with a defiance I didn’t really feel. “I don’t need you to tell me what you think I’m thinking.”

Noah blinked, his brows furrowing for a split second. I swear that sentence made sense in my head. It just… didn’t come out right.

“Okay, so you have an aneurysm. Anything else?” His tone was clipped.

“No,” I bit out, the tension between us thick enough to cut with a knife.

Noah stood, his jaw tight, his movements sharp as he headed toward the kitchen. “Want coffee?”

“What? No! I want to talk.”

He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes flashing with something I couldn’t quite name. “About what?”

“This.” I tapped my temple, annoyed by how defensive I sounded.

Noah’s expression hardened. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. “No, you don’t want to talk. You want to tell me things without giving me the chance to have a reaction or feelings.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but each word landed like a slap. And there was anger I hadn’t seen from him before, not like this.

“You’ve got no right to be angry!” I shouted, standing so quickly I knocked the coffee table with my knee. I followed him into the kitchen, my pulse hammering in my ears. “You have no right!”

“Yes, I do!” Noah spun to face me, his blue eyes blazing, his jaw tight, and his fists clenched at his sides. There was no mistaking the fury there now, but I thought I saw something else beneath it. Hurt. And that threw me off more than anything.

“No, you don’t!” I shot back, my voice cracking under the weight of all that I felt. “I’m the one dealing with this. Not you!”

Before I could say anything else, he moved. One smooth step, and I found myself backed against the wall, his hand on my shoulder, the other cradling the back of my head to cushion the impact. My breath hitched, my heart racing as I met his gaze.

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