“I didn’t say it was the right decision, but it was the one I made, and it was the one I was determined to live with.”
There’s a bitter taste in my mouth. “I’m sorry for hiding who I was from you. I knew who you were, and I should’ve been honest about that. You didn’t deserve to be lied to. I was scared of how it would change things, and I didn’t think much about what would happen when you found out I was keeping a secret from you.”
He pauses and studies me for a second. It’s like he’s looking to catch me in another lie, but I know that he’s not going to see anything other than sincerity.
I shouldn’t have lied to him all those years ago, and whether we’re together or not, we’re going to be connected for the rest of our lives.
Maybe we could be together, though.
“Aiden would’ve been a problem for us,” Royce says, his voice soft. “He wouldn’t have let us be together.”
“That would have stopped you?”
“The person I was back then? Yes.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, the hole now up to my knees, even though it’s not wide enough to hold two bodies yet. “And you think you’ve changed that much since we broke up?”
“In some ways. He’s changed too. He’s mellowed a little in some ways, gotten worse in others, but Ellie and Sean getting married was good for him. He saw that people are more than just the families they were raised in.”
I clear my throat, trying to hold back the tears that prick against the corners of my eyes. “When all this is over, I still want you to be part of Bianca’s life. The rest of your siblings too, if they’re willing to spend time with her.”
Royce’s mouth opens and closes before he beams at me. “You mean that?”
“I do. You’re her father and I never should’ve kept her from you.” I smile and keep digging, wishing that there was an easier way to do this. “You’re good with her, and she likes you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her as calm as she is when you’re reading with her.”
He grins as he digs with me, the conversation falling as we focus on getting the bodies buried before it gets any colder out here.
* * *
“I’m going for a shower,”Royce says as we walk into the house, and he locks the door behind us. “It would’ve been easier to call a cleaning crew. Now I smell like fucking corn chips and dead pig.”
I wrinkle my nose as I finally get a good whiff of him. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”
He smirks and takes the stairs two at a time.
For a moment I stand in the kitchen, considering going after him.
It’s going to take forever to feel clean again, but the thought of his hands lathering soap on my body has me rushing up the stairs after him.
As I step into his bedroom, his back is to me. He pulls his shirt over his head, the muscles in his back cording.
Standing in the doorway, I watch his reflection in the mirror as he reaches for the button of his pants, the zipper sliding down over the bulge. My thighs press together, memories of what’s beneath his clothing sparking through my imagination.
I don’t need to imagine for long, though.
Fabric pools around his feet, boxers following.
He turns, one eyebrow lifting when he sees me standing there. “You enjoying the show?”
I motion to a streak of mud on his upper thigh that got there when he was shedding his clothes. “You missed a spot. I could help with that.”
He smirks and jerks his chin toward the bathroom. “Get going, then.”
With a grin, I pull the shirt over my head before shimmying the leggings down. Royce’s gaze drags up and down my body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
When I’m naked in front of him, I stride to the bathroom, taking my time and adding an extra sway to my hips.
An arm loops around my waist, hauling me back against his firm body. His lips press to the side of my neck.