Page 52 of Rotten Men

The unholy sentence taints the very air I breathe, knowing nothing I can say or do will change his mind.

“Vince, you’re agitated, and rightfully so, but don’t do something none of us can come back from.” Dominic desperately tries to sway our friend’s blasphemous decision, but Vincent doesn’t react to his pleas. Instead, he just falls back, looking at the five-by-seven frame.

“What are you going to do?” I whisper hoarsely, petrified by what his response may be.

“What I have to. What we should have done all along,” he hushes back.

“And that is?” Dominic intervenes, his own voice a mumbled whisper.

Vincent locks eyes with us both, inciting our greatest fear with his final decision.

“We’re going to let her go.”

Nineteen

Selene

I switch off the ignition and turn my head to face the troubled look of the boy who is my reason in all things.

“You’re quiet. You’ve been quiet for the past couple of days now. You want to talk about it?” I ask him softly, making sure he understands he can always come to me with anything that ails him. But my son just stares back at me with apprehension in his eyes. That one look slays me in more ways than one.

“I want to ask you for something, but I don’t know if you’ll like it,” he replies, sucking on his lower lip while wiping his clammy hands on his jeans.

“Jude, I’m your mother. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t give you, kiddo. If it’s within my capacity, it’s yours.” I affirm with a smile, but instead of being met with just a simple request of a new game for his PlayStation or some tickets to a sporting event, I’m greeted with something I’m reluctant to give.

“I don’t want us to hide anymore. I want to stay,” he replies with such calm, I’m reminded he’s not only my child but also that of the stoic boy I grew up with who always shielded his true feelings behind his hazel eyes.

I take a long breath and slump my head on the headrest, unprepared in having to defend my decisions to him. I should have followed my gut and lied to Jude about why we have to leave Nashville. Bad enough I followed James’ opinion in being honest with them both; he’s not helping things either by stalling in getting his affairs in order, delaying our escape out of this town. I can’t help but feel responsible for sheltering them both as much as I did. If they only knew what facing real evil entailed, I’m sure we would have been miles away by now.

“We’ve had this discussion, Jude. It’s not safe for us to be here anymore. You’re a young, sweet kid. You’ll make new friends wherever we go,” I insist, hoping that is his only concern.

“I’m not worried about making friends,Mammà.”

“Then what are you worried about?” I ask, turning to face him once more.

“Vincent just found me and I didn’t even have a chance to talk to him,” he mumbles under his breath, adding bitter vinegar to the cuts of my soul. His eyes remain downcast, a sign of how nervous he is in contradicting my wishes.

“So this is about your father?” I sigh.

My beautiful, naive son tilts his head to me, steadfast in his resolve in seeing this discussion through—always my little, fearless warrior.

“I want to meet him. I mean, really meet him. Uncle Gio and Uncle Dom, too,” he ventures, and my own sullen smile tugs on my lips.

“You’re curious.”

“Shouldn’t I be?” he snaps back, and I’m aghast at seeing my own regrets being thrown at me, through myamato’seyes.

“It’s normal to be curious, but as much as I want you to know where you come from, your protection comes first,” I explain as calm as I can muster, considering the acrimonious stare I’m facing.

“He can protect me. All of them can protect us,Mammà,” he pleas, breaking my heart further with his unrealistic notions.

“No, sweetheart, they can’t.”

“Yes, they can! My father is the boss of a huge crime family,Mammà. You said so yourself. Don’t tell me he can’t protect me!” he shouts back.

“Enough!” I slap the steering wheel in front of me. “They cannot help us, Jude! Doing so means one of us will end up dead. Do you understand that? This life isn’t one of your videogames or TV shows. This is real life, Jude! The good guys don’t win every battle. Sometimes evil conquers all, and from my experience, it always will.”

“You’re wrong,” he quips back and opens the car door, hastening his quick getaway.