Page 19 of Praise Me: Soldier

If I was alone with this realization, I’d bash my head off the closest wall, just to redirect the pain. Who could damage this sweet girl’s feelings? Am I a monster?

Am I a classic abuser like her annoying co-worker said?

“Where are we going, Theo?”

“Park,” I manage, voice ragged.

I didn’t even know the answer until she asked, but the second I hear her husky tone, the need to be alone with her becomes even more urgent. I can taste my own lust. My own obsession. It’s alive, moving in the air around me. Inside of me. And there isn’t a chance in hell I’m going to bring her on a train or call us an Uber without imploding from the wait to soothe her anger at me. To touch what’s mine.

I guide her into a park that is surrounded by old, wrought-iron fencing, laden with tall, shivering trees. It’s semi-empty, a few stragglers watching the final dregs of the sunset that are visible within the city limits. There’s an ancient-looking stone storage shed on the far side of the park, and I lead July there now, circling us around back, taking us out of view.

When I look down at her gorgeous face in the twilight, I don’t even know where to begin communicating what’s going on inside of me. I’m a roadmap of crossed wires, my emotions heightened like never before.

“I left last night because I was hallucinating,” I say, caging her in with my arms against the stone wall of the shed. “I was in your apartment, but I was mentally trapped very far away from there, July. And I didn’t want to bring you to hell with me.”

Her face softens a degree. “You were having a nightmare?”

“Much worse. There’s no way to tell if it’s real or not.” I close my eyes and hang my head, pushing my face into the curve of her neck. “You were the only thing I knew was real, baby, and it felt like you were in danger. I had to take the danger with me. I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

Her hands lift, fingers sliding into my hair and my entire being sags, stress rushing from my body like a dam has broken. “You should have woken me up. We could have gotten through it together.”

“Right. I want to keep you, not drive you away.”

“Leaving me uncertain will drive me away faster.”

I rear back and punch the stone wall, careful not to come close to her beautiful head, and all the while my mouth rubs up and down, side to side, in the crook of her neck, into her hair. “Stop talking about driving you away. Juststop.”

Her breath catches when my teeth latch onto her ear. “Why are you back now? To get your relief for the day?” Her voice is defiant. “Do you need to use me to come again?”

“I’m not using you, July,” I say through my teeth—and I mean what I’m saying more than anything—but my cock is punching up against my zipper like hot steel, the veins that run the length of my hefty stalk pounding like a drum. The sudden ability to get hard again after going so long without…oh Jesus, the result is me shaking with rampant lust. Just like last night in her apartment, I want to hold her down and fuck her in the most brutal ways possible. Yet somehow, I also want to baby and pamper and spoil her. I don’t know myself or my urges around this woman, and that scares me, because she’simportant. “I am not using you, I just need to…” A blistering hot shiver runs the length of my erection, gripping my balls. “I-I just can’t concentrate, until…”

Knowing eyes flicker to mine. “Until you come.”

“Yes,” I gasp, my abs yanking tight as laces, semen wetting my tip. “Ohfuck.”

She’s starting to breathe faster. Does it turn her on to see me in sexual pain over her mere existence? “Last time, you weren’t even touching me. It just happened from…”

“Looking at you across the table. I know.” I turn my head, nestling our panting mouths together. “Is it asking for too much to kiss you while I ejaculate this time, baby?”

The smallest whimper tumbles from her lips and I surge forward, snarling against her mouth, my hands taking a gratifying ownership of July, skimming up the backs of her thighs to the supple ass beneath, my grip luxuriating in a possessive knead.Goddamnthis tight little butt. It’s mine. “There’s nowhere I wanted to be last night than with you. Every second of thisday, that’s what I wanted. But here’s the thing, there’s nowhere those co-workers of yours would rather be, either. In your bed, pumping away like dogs, under this piece of nothing skirt.” Through the barrier of her panties, I press my middle finger to her asshole.Tight.Enough to make her whole body jerk between me and the wall, that whimper less inhibited this time. “Don’t wear it again unless I’m on top of you and we’re using it to soak up all the come you tease out of me.”

Her breath has begun to shallow. “Not that I’m obligated to explain, b-but I was distracted when I got d-dressed this morning and—”

“Uh-huh.” I add a second finger on top of that pucker, massaging them in a possessive circle. “And the result is everyone spends the day distracted, hoping for a peek at your cunt.” Slowly, I slide my hand down the back of her underwear, and we’re skin to skin now, her softness threatening to turn me feral. I continue until I encounter the soft swell of her pussy, rubbing four fingers gently within her flesh and my God, she’s like a dew-slicked rosebud. “A man sees you in a skirt this short, he thinks of it twisted around your waist while you bounce on his cock and moan like a fucking porn star. And if that happens, I’ll have to make it so theycan’tthink anymore, July. Ever again. Do we understand each other?”

The continued defiance in her expression is only making me want to be more aggressive.Hold back. Calm down.I can’t fuck her in this park, because I am not going to be quiet when I’m finally hitting that pussy. I’m going to be an animal. Someone will hear her screaming and call the police. Right now, what I need to accomplish is an understanding that July is my temptation and my temptation alone. And I need to bust so I can think straight. “You won’t wear the skirt, period.” Lord, I’m sweating. “Unless…”

Pink colors her cheeks. “Unless it’s soaking up your come.”

“Yes.” I drag my mouth over to hers, rocking our lips together with a shuddering breath. “That’s what I need it to do right now, July, baby. I couldn’t get hard all day, then I saw you through the window…and now?Fuck. It woke up so angry.” I strum the seam of her sex, painfully aware that she’s getting wetter and wetter. Wanting to take care of her needs but imprisoned by my immediate need to nut. For her.Onher. I’m being choked by four years of no satisfaction, finally given the ultimate outlet for the pain. My sweet July. “Answer me,” I rasp. “Can I kiss you while we’re calming me down?”

It takes her a moment to respond, because she’s visibly trying to hold on to her irritation, despite her arousal, but eventually she nods, if unevenly. “Okay.”

Being given the green light to kiss her is like bring granted a feast and having no idea where to dig in. Is she even remotely aware of her succulence? Her mouth is a juicy piece of fruit, moist and breathy, her breath tinged with mint and fruity alcohol. My cock wouldn’t even fit between those lips, but God help me, I think of her trying. Whining and struggling, trying to fit it down her throat, and I threaten to unload in my pants once again.

It’s already happening, my balls beginning to milk themselves with rough spasms.

This woman is my kryptonite.

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