Page 125 of Into the Gray Zone

“I don’t think you’re on an even keel for this one.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You were going to kill that guy Manjit in the slum. I know it, and you know it. You lose your judgment when the beast is out running amok, and he’s out tonight. I need to know you’re not letting your bloodlust overwhelm your critical thinking here.”

Questioning my leadership abilities was a sure way to set me off, but I knew she was at least partially right, but not in the way she thought. I understood what had happened in the slum, and it embarrassed me. I also realized—in that moment—that I didn’t need to succumb to it. Jennifer had broken the rage, and I could do the same, internally. I just needed to learn how, and this assault might show me that. It wasn’t bloodlust that was driving me toward the residence, it was the opposite.

I said, “Jennifer, I stopped when you told me to. I didn’t kill him. I can control the beast.”

“You stoppedbecauseI told you to, but I’m not going to be with you, and Knuckles doesn’t understand the beast.”

“I can control it. I have to, because this isn’t about me. It’s about Nadia and Annaka. I can’t allow anything to cause me to lose focus on that, and I won’t. We’re all they have at this point.”

She locked eyes with me, judging whether I was speaking the truth or just trying to placate her. She said, “This plan isn’t what I would call a well-oiled machine. It’s verging on insane. The team will follow you into hell if you order them to, but maybe you should ask this time.”

I had won the battle about my psyche, but she was right about the mission. I said, “Okay, I’ll ask, but I’ll start with you, because if you can’t get to the balcony, it’s all off anyway.”

She pursed her lips, considering what I’d said, still judging me. Finally, she said, “I can climb it.”

“You sure?”

She said, “No, but it’ll be safer than what you idiots are planning.”

I smiled and walked back to the vehicle, Brett and Knuckles waiting expectantly. I said, “Jennifer’s good to go, but she’s informed me that my plan is a little loonier than normal.”

I looked each of them in the eye and said, “So if you have any hesitation—if you think we should leave this to the Black Cats—say so now.”

Brett said, “I’m just an infil platform. All I’m doing is dropping off Jennifer and then parking for early warning. Not my call.”

I turned to Knuckles, and as expected, he said, “This isn’t any stupider than sliding three stories down a rope that was probably last used in the sixteenth century. If you’re having second thoughts, just say so. I’m not leaving Nadia’s fate to the Black Cats. I’ll take Manjit and go by myself if you’re that concerned.”

I turned to Jennifer and said, “Apparently, it’s not that stupid a plan after all. After hearing they want to continue, do you stlll think you can climb?”

She said, “Yeah, I can climb it.”

“Perfect.” I looked at my watch, saying, “We’ve got about an hour before the Black Cats hit the place, forty minutes worst case. Brett, you and Jennifer in our car. Knuckles and I will take the Rover.”

I turned off the tablet, then said, “I know this sounds like a dumb-ass plan, but it’s all that’s standing between Nadia’s and Annaka’s death.”

Brett said, “That’s it? That’s your inspirational war speech? Man, I feel pumped.”

I shook my head and said, “Get Manjit. It’s time for him to make a call.”

Chapter73

Jennifer rolled over the railing on the balcony of the lowest residential level and lay on her back, breathing hard. She felt lucky the lights were out in the attached room, letting her rest in the darkness, because she didn’t know if she would have had the strength to climb parallel to a different balcony.

The climb up the foliage of the lower six floors hadn’t been technically hard, but the work had been physically demanding. She’d basically had to muscle her way up all six stories, testing each new handhold in the foliage before trusting her weight with it while holding that very same weight with her other hand and a meager toehold. Her lack of equipment hadn’t helped.

There hadn’t been time to return to the Rock Star bird to change clothes or retrieve any safety assistance, so she was free climbing in the clothes she’d been wearing in the slum. She’d taken off her loose cotton shirt and tied it around her waist, leaving her with a sports bra, and her Solomon hikers were lashed together with the laces draped around her neck. She’d decided the soles were too thick for adequate purchase, preferring her bare feet for the work. For weapons, she’d opted only for a Staccato pistol holstered in the small of her back, leaving her rifle for Pike to bring up.

She keyed her radio and said, “Pike, Pike, I’m through the parking garage. At the first residential level.”

She heard, “Atta girl! Hey, not to bring any pressure, but that took over twenty minutes. You’re going to have to do the next sixteen floors faster than that.”

She sat up, feeling the hum of fatigue in her hands and shoulders. She said, “I think I’ve found a way to make that timeline, but I can’t promise anything if I’m wrong.”

He said, “Just do your best. If you can’t get up to the veranda and we have to assault without you, break into the building at whatever level you’re on and use the stairs to meet us. We’ll wing it.”

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