Page 45 of Vicious Hearts

“You still insist on making me the faithful sidekick who can’t catch a ball?”

I estimate that when I go back home, I will have been away for a month or so. I’ll be empty handed, with nothing to give Hinky, which is going to put the final nail in my coffin. I’ll be homeless, jobless and manless. So, I decide to get started on a book about a band of brothers who decide to rob a bank with their elderly grandmother, whose dream it’s always been to do so. Needless to say, Attila hasn’t stopped laughing since I told him my idea and has insisted I weave his charming character into the book. Which is why I made him the clown.

“It’s the only character left,” I tell him. “Take it or leave it.”

He sums me up with his eyes, scanning my face for something I can’t quite understand. I know he’s worried about Caleph. He’s probably worried about me too. But his loyalty will always lie with the best friend he’s had since he was a teenager.

“I came out to tell you your friends just touched down. This should all be over in a couple of days.”

I can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes my lips, even though I know the clock is ticking down and I’ll be gone in no time. A steely grip seizes my heart and squeezes, emptying the life out of me. Sometimes when I think about leaving here, I find it hard to breathe.

“Yay, can’t wait.” It sounds fake even to my own ears.

Attila picks up on my lack of enthusiasm, because he gives me a small tight smile before he turns away. When he turns back toward me, he tells me he’s really going to miss having me here. I don’t doubt his sincerity. I’ll miss him too. But the real test will be in how quick I’m able to move past this place and forget. Forget Caleph. And forget that he ever meant anything to me.

* * *

I’ve triedto avoid Caleph at every turn. Which is hard, because he’s everywhere. He spends his days in his office on the first floor, endless meetings and phone calls and it seems like he too is trying to avoid me. I won’t lie and say that doesn’t affect me a little, but it does.

The compound is huge, sitting in the side of a mountain with a twelve-foot soaring concrete wall surrounding it. But from my second-floor window, I can look out and admire the azure blue of the Caribbean Coast. I’ve never been in a place where the mountains and the sea meet. It’s breathtaking, and I think I could stay here forever if only the circumstances were different.

The chatter of voices below my window reaches my ears. I pull my eyes away from the sea and towards the living figures that move towards a Mercedes parked in the driveway. Caleph and Attila come into view, walking away from the house with a woman in a red skirt suit. Other than Maria the maid, I don’t think I’ve seen any other women in or around their operations the whole time I’ve been here. I watch as Attila waves a casual hand in the woman’s direction and walks away to take a call.

Caleph stands by the driver’s side door facing the woman. His stands with his feet apart military style, his presence commanding attention. The pretty blonde obviously got the memo because she can’t take her eyes off him. All I can think as I watch her is I don’t know how she’s going to drive in those silly heels she’s wearing.

I know I should, but I can’t bring myself to move my eyes away from her, wondering who she is. She reaches up a hand and sets blood red talons on Caleph’s chest, the move both intimate and proprietary. He shifts uncomfortably, the move imperceptible to the naked eye, but to my trained eye that’s watched him for endless hours, it’s clear as day. My eyes flutter and close of their own accord as I watch her reach a hand up to cradle one of his cheeks as she plants a kiss on the other. She says something before she pats her talons on his chest then climbs into the car.

Caleph watches her drive away and disappear through the huge wrought iron gates. When he turns toward the house, his eyes swing to my window. He sees me standing there and stops, his gaze lingering on me momentarily before he starts toward the house again.

42

CALEPH

She's driving me fucking crazy. It’s as if she has taken up residence in every corner, every crevice of my thoughts and I just can’t shake her off. She's like a drug that I can't resist, slowly consuming me from the inside out, her image stubbornly etched into my brain. I can’t see past that image to appreciate anyone or anything else, and I can’t find a way to navigate this new life apart from her.

If she had taken a sword and cut me down at the knees, that would have been easier than hearing her say she wanted to leave. If only I’d been more diligent when cleaning up that traitor’s mess. I should have done it in the jungle. Anywhere she didn’t have eyes. Instead, she stood at that window and watched as I turned into that other side of me; that side that walks in the darkness and does what needs to be done to protect what’s mine. A side I’d believed long buried.

I walk into the house, pause with my hand on the door to my office, then turn and start towards the stairs. I take them two at a time until I find myself rapping my knuckles on Ariadne’s door. I know she saw me through the window with my lawyer Elizabeth this morning. Other than that momentary glance, I haven’t seen her today, and on other days, glimpses of her are fleeting as she goes about her days trying to avoid me.

She doesn’t know it’s me at the door, otherwise I’m sure she wouldn’t have called out, allowing entry. I don’t know why I’m here, have no idea which way I’ll take the conversation, but I don’t want her to spend the rest of her time here locked in her ivory tower while I wilt away over her loss.

She gasps when I enter, not expecting me. I lean against the door, my hands behind my back as though to ensure it remains closed. She lifts a delicate hand and rubs it against her neck slowly. Nervously. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but her mere presence destroys me. She blinks rapidly; if I look carefully, I can still see the shadow of the bruising under her eye. The cuts on her face have almost healed, a stark reminder of the time she spent away from me.

“You weren’t expecting me, were you?”

My voice is thick and heavy, drowning in darkness as I look at her from beneath hooded lids. She will always be the woman that corrupted my heart and ravaged my soul.

She shakes her head; one short shake as she regards me with an elevated level of caution.

“What do you want, Caleph?”

Her voice is like syrup to my burning heart; a remedy I was not aware I needed. What do I want? I want so many things. Most of which I can’t share with her without giving rise to her fear. I want her. I want her soul and I want her being. I want her ins and her outs, and everything in between. I want to drink from her wine and drown in her air. I want so many things.

“You think leaving me will mean this is over?”

I can’t ignore the desperate undertones in my hoarse voice. I will do anything to keep her by my side.

“You made this over when you showed me you’re exactly the way the world perceives you. You’re a monster. And I don’t want to play in your jungle.”

---