I frowned. ‘Surely she won’t be that insensitive?’
‘She doesn’t know what he did. Surprisingly, it was one family secret I managed to keep under wraps.’
I gasped. ‘No one knows?’
‘Aunt Flo does. And that wasn’t by choice. She just happened to be there at an...inopportune moment.’
‘I see.’
His gaze flickered over my face. ‘So now you know another torrid little secret. Will you be there?’ he asked tersely.
I wanted to refuse. Withdraw.
My own situation with my mother had made me wary about the emotional entanglements and anguish that family brought. For longer than I could remember, she’d dangled at the end of my father’s string, refusing to see his true selfish nature.
‘I’m not great with family situations, Gideon.’
‘I still want you there. We can muddle through the bullshit together.’
I bit my lip, recalling how it’d felt to return wedding gifts and cancel invitations, to endure the pitying looks when they discovered what Adam had done. Surprisingly, my mother had stood by me through it all and on some level we’d reconnected.
The softening inside me unsettled me further but I pushed the feeling aside. ‘If you want me there, I’d love to join you.’
Gideon
Leonora’s agreement should’ve pleased me. I should’ve been satisfied since as of last night we’d established that trust wasn’t a ready commodity for me to offer anyone, especially in a transient sex fling. We’d drawn clear lines and she’d agreed not to step over them.
It was what I wanted. So why did I lie awake all bloody night, unable to shake the sensation that I’d fucked up somehow?
And why did seeing her this morning only confirm that chilling idea?
Even now, as she smiled at me, I knew something was up. It was right there in her face but I’d spent so long stumbling around in emotional darkness, that clarity I was striving for was damned hard to find.
Was it her ex? From what I’d caught from the phone call, she’d rebuffed him. For now. But what about later? Forgiveness was a sneaky thing. Hell, I’d spent a full sixty seconds this morning in my office contemplating forgiving Damian.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it.
For another full minute I’d wondered if I should do something about the sensation that something important was slipping through my fingers. Something remotely resembling removing the other so-called anti-emotional roadblocks Leonora had accused me of erecting.
But who the hell was I kidding? There was nothing beyond the roadblocks but a harsh desolate wasteland triggered by betrayal and an emotionally barren childhood. I’d caught glimpses of it over the years, when the veil of partying had dropped for a few terrifying seconds.
It was why those sixty seconds had rattled the fuck out of me with its vivid potency.
No other woman—including Penny—had impacted me like this. I’d gone from thinking about Leonora every five minutes to every five bloody seconds. Even in my arms or when I was deep inside her, I still craved more of her. Somewhere along the line, she’d burrowed under my skin and was digging deep into places I’d clearly marked forbidden.
As with Bryce, I’d woken this morning with a reluctant acceptance that I had to deal with Damian.
The thought of returning to London and picking up my life where I’d left it several short days ago was suddenly deeply unattractive.
As for telling her about Damian and Penny...
‘Gideon?’
I stared at her, catching another glimpse of that wary sympathy in her eyes.
‘Damian and I are the closest in age of any of my other siblings or cousins. He was closer to me than Bryce. We were inseparable.’ The words spilled like an opened tap, pouring free, eroding foundations I’d painstakingly built. It had to stop.
Otherwise...