Page 77 of Worth the Risk

The agony intensified as she lifted her chin. For a moment I wanted to tell her not to say whatever she was about to say.

‘Fine. Here’s the truth. It’s because you’re letting what happened colour every corner of your life. I just got rid of my own baggage. I won’t be weighed down by yours. Like you said, it was just sex. But as great as it’s been, I want more. And don’t flatter yourself by thinking I want more with you. But I want more out of life. I want love. I want everything, Gideon. And you’re not the man to give it to me.’

For the first time in my life, I knew what true panic felt like. ‘So what? You’re going back to Adam?’

She had the audacity to laugh. ‘You’re really hung up on him, aren’t you? Why do you even care?’

Because I want to be the one to give you more.

The words ricocheted in my head, but again, they stuck in my throat. Everything inside me screamed against letting her go.

My gaze shifted to the half-packed suitcase and something cracked inside me. ‘Leonora...’

‘Service on the yacht will continue as normal. You don’t need my professional services and I’m needed back at my office so I hope you won’t insist I stay and make things awkward.’

‘No problem. I don’t plan on being aboard for much longer.’ Not without her. Not when I could already feel her absence tunnelling a hole in my chest.

‘Good. Then it all works out,’ she said coolly.

A frigid wind swept over me. I probed her expression, desperate to see something else other than the icy indifference staring back at me. Perhaps it was wishful thinking when I thought I caught something in her expression. But it was gone a second later. Still it didn’t stop me from taking a jerky step towards her, my hands dying to touch her one last time. ‘So that’s it?’ was all I managed.

She stared at me for another elastic second, before she returned to her suitcase. ‘Goodbye, Gideon.’

I had no memory of leaving the cabin, only of stumbling onto the first-floor deck, which unfortunately also held Damian.

‘What happened?’ he snapped.

‘Nothing I want to fucking talk about with you.’

I wanted to blame his arrival on the boat for this. But even I wasn’t that desperately childish.

When he pushed a drink into my hand, I grimly and gratefully clutched it.

We drank in silence. Until I heard the unwelcome approach of a speedboat. I tossed the drink aside and dashed to the rail. My lungs flattened as I watched Leonora board the boat.

‘Fucking hell, are you really letting her leave?’ Damian demanded.

‘She was already leaving,’ I replied. ‘She was always going to leave.’ Because I had nothing to offer her. Or anyone.

‘You’re not going to want to hear this, mate, but I’m going to say it anyway. You’re going to regret this very quickly. When you do, do yourself a favour and don’t wait three fucking years.’

Damian’s words were ringing in my ears as I stood frozen, gripping the railing, watching the speedboat make a wide arc. My insides turning to stone, I willed Leonora to turn around.

She did.

And in that moment I knew what true desolation meant.