Page 79 of Close to the Edge

My throat clogged. Excitement faded and harrowing pain rushed at me. “Would you? Why?”

“Because you didn’t deserve it. Not a single one of the things I threw at you.”

“Are you sure? Because there’s no shame in admitting you don’t have room in your life...for me.” It hurt me to say it, but it needed to be said.

He shook his head vehemently. “That’s not—”

“I saw how devastated you were when you told me about your mom. You blame yourself for her. You moved heaven and earth for her and she still died, and after that you were never going to become so wrapped up in anyone else. Am I right?”

He stared down at me for the longest time. Then he exhaled harshly. “Yes. I’d love to say I fought hard to shut people out, but...after she died, it was easy to close the door, to bottle the pain and become the lone wolf no one depended on. Until Kirsten.”

My heart twisted with pain for him. For me. “And she let you down, too.”

His mouth tightened. “I don’t want to talk about her. She’s not important. Not anymore. She was just another crutch I used to distance myself. The option to walk away on my own terms before things got heavy with anyone was mine alone. I was okay with it. Until I met you. You forced me to take a long, hard look at myself.”

My lungs flattened. “Caleb...”

“Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Lily,” he confessed forcefully.

Remembering brought more pain. “Then why did you?”

“I let my guard down with you. My instincts warned me about Miranda but I saw how close you were to your team. To her. I knew you would be hurt if it was her and I didn’t want you to experience that pain. I hesitated when I could’ve acted sooner. Then the breach happened and all I could think about was that I could’ve lost you. In the end I did anyway by pushing you away, when I should’ve pulled you close.”

“I thought you were into her. Miranda.”

Caleb’s fingers brushed my throat and I realized I was clinging to his wrists. “I’m into one particular pint-size blonde, with a heart of gold, the courage of a lion and a body designed to stop traffic.”

“She’s into you, too, but she was terrified all you’d ever want was to be a fixer. That she wouldn’t be able to compete with your calling. You chose to do what you do to help people but also to stay connected to your mother. I... I didn’t know if I could compete with that.”

“The moment you walked into my life, the competition was over. I would’ve come after you whether you were a client or not. My heart and my soul craved you even before I knew what was happening. That second time in Lake Tahoe was my piss-poor way of telling you I couldn’t live without you.”

“Oh, Caleb.”

“I’ve been wretched without you. The thought of waking up every morning for the rest of my life without you...” He stopped and shook his head, urgent hands cupping my cheeks to tilt my gaze to his. “If there’s any part of you that feels a fraction of that, please give me a chance to make us both happy.”

Bright, shining hope billowed through me. “Do you mean that?”

“With every bone in my body,” he breathed.

“Oh, my God.”

Fevered eyes pierced me. “Is that... Are you considering it, Lily?”

“I don’t need to. I was thinking of what it would be like to wake up each day with you.”

His fingers trembled against my cheek. “And?”

“I would love that, Caleb. So very much.”

A blinding smile erupted. “God, Lily... I love you.”

Hope turned to joy, filling my battered spaces with new, vibrant life, and my eyes with tears. “I love you, too,” I wailed.

Caleb stared at me for a stupefied moment; then my big, magnificent man snatched me in his arms, but not before I caught a suspicious sheen in his eyes.

He fused his lips to mine, and my heart sighed with happiness. Still bound in his arms, I felt him moving. Felt him sink into a seat before he placed me before him.

His hands worshipped my face, my neck, my fingers. Adoring eyes pinned me as he slid his hands under my dress.

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