Page 92 of Arrogant Bastard

When I attempt to shift my hips, he uses his body to restrain me. My frustrated growl draws a laugh. “Now, Faith. And look at me when you say it.”

I slowly open my eyes and meet his cobalt blues. And fall deeper in love. “Yes, Killian!”

His blinding smile stays with me all through the fantastic orgasm that he gifts me.

Which is a good thing to have in my memory bank. Because only less than a day later, my world turns a darker shade of gray.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Faith

It starts with Killian walking into the west living room a few hours later, where I’m watching the spectacular early evening view over the Pacific. One look at his face, and my heart begins to pound.

He paces back and forth a few times before he resolutely faces me. “I told myself I wouldn’t ask because, frankly, I’m not sure how I’ll handle it if the answer doesn’t go the way I want it to go. But the alternative, the not knowing, is killing me.”

I exhale. I have a strong suspicion of what he’s going to ask. This has been a long time coming. I’m stunned that, with our history of questionable obsession, he’s remained silent on the subject for this long.

“Killian, it’s—”

“I need to fucking know, Faith. Did you fuck someone else when we were apart?”

“We weren’t apart. We were over.”

“Bullshit. You knew this would be inevitable. The only way we’ll ever be over is if we’re dead. Answer the damn question.”

“No.”

His jaw clenches. Hard. He paces to the end of the room and back, digging his hands through his hair. “I can’t accept that.”

“You’ll have to.”

“Why the fuck do I have to?”

“Because if I give you an answer, then I have the right to ask a question of my own.”

He freezes for a second, then gives me a tense nod. “That’s fair enough.”

“How do you know? You don’t know what I want to ask.”

“I’ll answer any damn question you want, Faith. Just answer mine first.”

The power I’ll be handing over in that reply stays my tongue for a full minute. And he grows paler by the second. By the time I open my mouth, he looks sick. “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to know.”

“Killian—”

A tortured breath shudders out of him. “It’s fine, Faith. Forget it.” He stalks off to the far side of the room, his fingers laced over his neck as he stares out the window. He’s not seeing a damn thing. I know this because his eyes are darting crazily over the horizon while ripples of anguish shake his body.

I walk over to him. He tenses, as if he doesn’t want me to touch him. If he could, he would physically reject me right then. But our connection is hardwired to accept each other, for better or worse. I contemplate my own question and the answer I’ll receive should I be brave enough to voice it.

Please, please, please.

I tighten my arms around his waist and rest my forehead between his shoulder blades. “I didn’t sleep with anyone,” I murmur.

His whole body seizes up like he’s been shot. His arms drop and he whirls to face me. Cobalt-blue eyes scour my face, probing my every expression. “Repeat that. Louder.”

I lay my hand on his chest. Feel the heart hammering beneath the thin layer of cotton. “I haven’t had sex in over four years. Except with my vibrator.”

Beneath my touch, I feel his heart miss a beat. He remains statue-still for another charged second before he exhales raggedly and staggers back against the window, pulling me into the circle of his arms. “Jesus Christ, Faith. I don’t know what I was thinking, putting myself through that. But God, thank you!” He plants a kiss on the top of my head and hugs me tighter. “Thank you.”

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