Page 59 of Arrogant Bastard

The older man nods again.

Killian takes my arm, and we leave the kitchen. I glance at him on the way to the living room. “Where did you find Mitch?”

“My very expensive, very temperamental rental car broke down on a remote road in the middle of the KwaZulu-Natal. He and Linc found me. Which was great because I wasn’t looking forward to sleeping in my car for the third night in a row. Aston Martins are great to drive, but they’re pretty crappy as hotel rooms.”

“You were on another assignment?”

“No, I was chasing a lead that turned out to be another dead end.”

In the living room, we head to the wide sofa I woke up on two days ago. He pushes me down at one end and sits next to me.

“What lead?”

He looks at me without speaking and sips his coffee. My breath catches a little. “Me?”

His gaze turns a little sad, a little disappointed at my surprise. “I told you, I never stopped looking. You once mentioned you wanted to visit South Africa. Nancy, Betty’s older sister, threw out a description that matched yours, so I went to look. You, or rather the woman who was supposed to be you, turned out to be a vineyard owner’s wife from just outside of Stellenbosch. They invited me to stay for a few days. I had nowhere else to be, so I took them up on their offer. It’s a beautiful part of the country. We should go back there sometime.”

This time it’s my heart that catches. I can’t make the promise, so I drink my coffee. Killian stays silent for another minute. “Anyway, I thought I’d take the scenic route back to Johannesburg. KwaZulu-Natal is beautiful too. Not so much the vast areas without cell phone reception.”

“What were Mitch and Linc doing there?”

“They didn’t feel like sharing that with me. And I didn’t ask. But I checked them out when I got back home. Turns out they were ex-military. We kept in touch. When I attended their wedding and found out they were both out of work, I offered them this gig.”

“They’re married?”

Mitch walks in then, and a small smile curves his lips. “Coming up on two years.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, ma’am. The food’s ready.”

“Thank you. And please, call me…” I pause, and my gut clenches tight. The name I threw away a long time ago crowds the back of my throat. But I’m not worthy of it. I feel Killian’s sharp gaze on me. “Never mind.”

We head back to the kitchen and eat breakfast in near silence. I compliment Mitch’s cooking skills again, ignore the dark look Killian throws me, and get up to pour us some coffee. When we’re done and once Mitch leaves, we wander into the study.

The gadget Killian carries hasn’t beeped, so we don’t expect to find anything when we get there. With nothing to do and too much time on my hands, my mind probes forbidden territory again.

I shouldn’t ask. I know I shouldn’t. “Where else did you look for me?” I blurt.

Killian walks over to where I’m standing with my back against the glass wall. Behind and below me, mid-morning rushes past in New York City.

Up here, I experience the slow passage of time like dull thuds of my heartbeat. Killian’s hands circle my waist, his thumbs sliding back and forth in lazy curves beneath my breasts. “Costa Rica, Jaipur, Mexico, London. Twice in New Jersey. Twice in Ireland. And all over California.”

“Not Arkansas?”

Something passes over his face. A shadow. A secret. I recognize it because that shadow lives in me too.

“Your life there was over. I helped you sever the ties, remember?”

The breath I take is tinged with pain. “Julia’s grave. Is it…is she…?”

He kisses me softly on the temple. “The money we paid for it to be tended and freshly flowered has another twelve years to go. I kept an eye on it. She’s fine.”

Tears prickle my eyes, and I swallow hard. “Thank you.”

He lowers his head and presses his lips to mine. My arms creep around his neck. We kiss long and deep. Enough for some of the sadness to fade before he lifts his neck.

“I wish I’d met her.”

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