Page 78 of Black Sheep

But doesn’t he always evade when you ask about the “errands” he runs with his brothers?

I shake my head to disperse my thoughts and the images I once accidently found on Troy’s camera. The horrible things Ronan was doing to that man made me lose my breakfast…

I jump when Finnan leans forward and pats my knee. My stomach takes a long dive. “It’s nothing, I’m sure. You mean a lot to my boy. And I’m certain he’ll do anything to hang on to you. Even if, with that temper of his, I sometimes wonder what he’s capable of. He would never do anything to harm those you care about.”

I’m grappling with the fact that he just implied Axel was capable of violence. Or more.

…you belong to me. I don’t care who created you. You are mine. No one else is fucking allowed to touch you. No one is allowed to take you away from me, do you hear me?

I’m not sure why I’m recalling the words Axel said to me on the beach this summer. Sure, they excited me then. Now a different emotion punctures that excitement.

No. Axel loves me. He’s a good guy. He loves me, and I love him.

End of story.

“No, he wouldn’t,” I answer Finnan, my head held high.

He pauses then smiles. “You’re a feisty young woman, Cleopatra. You’re also loyal. I like that about you.” He starts moving toward the door. “I’ll finalize the arrangements for our trip to Boston in the next few days. I already have permission from your school. I’ll let you know when to pack a bag.”

He leaves with a similar ominous clash of thunder to the one he entered with. I sit in the middle of the bed, unable to stop shivering. I feel like a traitor for the fear I’m unable to dislodge from my heart.

Axel. My parents. New Jersey.

My parents have gone radio silent before. But only for a month or so when they went to Armenia. I never found out the ins and outs of that trip, although I guessed.

This time it’s been months. And like every organized crime family knows, the first rule is to leave the authorities out of their affairs. Even in the case of a missing couple who haven’t been heard from or seen in that long.

Lightning flashes again. Another silhouette against the door. My heart leaps into my throat. But it’s Axel who walks in a second later, cursing and shaking the raindrops from his coat. He turns to set the half-sodden pizza box down, and my breath catches at the similarity in stature between father and son. Axel is very much his own person. And yet so much like Finnan it’s scary.

“Shit, I hate these flash storms. They…Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I…Yeah, the stupid storm scared me a little. And you doing a Freddy Krueger impression against the door didn’t help.”

His face gentles immediately. Unzipping his coat, he drops it on a chair as he strides to the bed. A second later, I’m engulfed in his arms, and he’s rolling me onto my back. “Sorry, baby. Here, let Freddy make it all better!”

I laugh. We kiss. We devour the pizza. Then we make love.

But the fears linger in my heart.

And two weeks later, they are confirmed.

Chapter Twenty-One

IMPASSE

The moment Finnan showed me the video and a photo of my father’s body, my life slid on a downward slope to a permanent residence in the seventh circle of hell. In a state of numb disbelief, I read a copy of the autopsy report confirming he drowned. I barely heard or acknowledged Finnan’s reassurance that he would take care of funeral arrangements or snapped out of my fugue state long enough to wonder why we were the only two people standing by my father’s Boston graveside. Why, in a shockingly horrific twist of fate, the other two people I loved most couldn’t be here.

Axel.

Mom.

Axel.

Axel.

Mom.

Finnan had no answers for me as to my mother’s whereabouts. She wasn’t found in the trunk of the Camaro with my father. I thought the possibility that her body wasn’t found would bring me hope. Instead, all I thought about was what Axel would do when he found out I knew.

---