Page 62 of Journey to Love

With my grandparents' help, we tidied up, and I grabbed my shattered phone before retreating to bed. Today had been exhausting, and I decided to put off getting a new phone until tomorrow, along with calling Jacob back. All I wanted now was to rest and put this chaotic night behind me.

Despite the chaos surrounding Caleb and my possible stalker, there was a nagging feeling in my gut that something was still off. My mind kept racing with questions and suspicions about who could be behind all of this. Part of me feared it was Paul, but I couldn't shake off the possibility that it could be someone else entirely. It didn't help that I had abruptly left him two years ago without any explanation, leaving him with a possessive and controlling personality. But could he really have turned into a stalker? The thought alone made my head throb even more.

As I stumbled out to the kitchen in the early hours of the morning, I couldn't believe how much of a mess my life had become once again. Why did all these things keep happening to me? And why did I always seem to cause trouble wherever I went? I grabbed a glass of water, hoping it would clear my mind, but instead it served as a reminder of how little sleep I had gotten.

In a moment of desperation, I reached for my grandfather's scotch, taking a swig in hopes that it would numb the pain and make me fall into a deep slumber. But as the burning liquid slid down my throat, I couldn't help but think that maybe not waking up would be a relief for everyone around me. They wouldn't have to deal with me and my problems anymore. Sure, they would mourn, but at least they wouldn't have to deal with the turmoil I caused since getting involved with Paul. Even though Caleb had nothing to do with Paul, his presence only added fuel to the fire.

Maybe if I disappeared, Paul would leave my family alone too. With that thought in mind, I closed my eyes and let the darkness consume me, both from the scotch and from my conflicted emotions.

I am jolted awake by Lana's sudden entrance through the door. As I open my eyes, a sharp pain shoots through my head from the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. My neck feels stiff from sleeping on the couch. I try to rub my eyes, but the intense brightness only makes it worse. I sit up as she rushes towards me with concern etched on her face. "Oh my god, Anya! Did Caleb do that?" she exclaims with worry evident in her high-pitched voice.

"Please don't be so loud," I say, wincing at the sound of her voice. She lets out a sigh when she sees the empty bottle of scotch and me lying on the couch. She reaches into her purse and hands me some Tylenol. "You didn't try to drink yourself into oblivion again, did you?" she asks with fear and concern in her tone. I wince again, not because of her voice but because she was the one who found me a year ago after my failed attempt to end my life with alcohol and pills. We had just become friends then, but she took care of me and has been by my side ever since. That was also the day I finally told her about Paul and what he did to me.

“I’m worried about you Anya”, Lana's words hang heavy in the air, her concern a palpable presence that wraps around me like a comforting embrace. I feel the weight of her arm around my shoulders, a lifeline tethering me to reality amidst the chaos of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, my voice barely a whisper as tears blur my vision. The rawness of my emotions threatens to consume me, leaving me vulnerable and exposed.

Her words cut through the silence like a knife, their gravity sinking into my bones with each syllable. "You need help, Anya," she says softly, her voice tinged with sadness. "You can't keep doing this to yourself."

The tears flow freely now, a torrent of emotion that I can no longer contain. "I know," I choke out between sobs, my heart heavy with the weight of my own self-destructive tendencies. "But last night... it brought back so many painful memories."

As I recount the events of the previous night, Lana listens intently, her expression a mix of sympathy and concern. The mystery of the texts and flowers only adds to the growing sense of unease that gnaws at my insides.

"Anya, you need to tell the authorities," Lana insists, her voice tinged with urgency. "If you think it's Paul, you can't ignore it."

But the thought of confronting Paul fills me with dread, a paralyzing fear that leaves me trembling with uncertainty. "I don't know if it's him," I confess, my voice trembling with uncertainty. "And even if it is... I don't know if I have the strength to face him."

Lana's concern lingers in the air as we both sit in silence, the weight of her words hanging heavy between us. "Okay, well what did Jacob say?" she finally breaks the quietude, her question pulling me back to the present moment. My heart skips a beat as the realization hits me like a bolt of lightning. "Oh my god, I need to call him! I need to tell him I'm okay! He must be worried sick!" I exclaim, panic flooding my veins.

She hands me her phone without hesitation, and I quickly dial Jacob's number, my fingers trembling with a mixture of fear and anticipation. "Hello?" Jacob's voice drifts through the line, a comforting presence amidst the chaos of my emotions.

"Jacob?" I respond, my voice cracking with emotion as tears threaten to overwhelm me. The weight of my actions from the previous night crashes down on me, and I'm filled with regret for causing him worry.

"Anya!?" His voice is a mixture of shock and relief, echoing the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions swirling within me.

"Jacob! I'm so sorry!" I blurt out, tears streaming down my cheeks in uncontrollable torrents.

"Baby, are you okay? What happened?" His concern is palpable, his words a lifeline in the midst of my turmoil. But the sound of his voice only intensifies my emotional breakdown, rendering me speechless as I cling to the phone in desperation.

"Anya, I'm here," he reassures me, his words a soothing balm to my shattered spirit. And then, like a beacon of hope in the darkness, I feel a familiar presence beside me, a warmth enveloping me in its embrace.

I look up through tear-streaked eyes to see Jacob standing before me, his expression a mixture of concern and unwavering support. Without a word, he gathers me into his arms, pulling me close as I bury my face against his chest, my tears flowing freely in his presence. In that moment, surrounded by his comforting embrace, I feel a glimmer of hope flicker to life within me, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, I am not alone.

After what seems like a long time, I wipe my face and look up at him, "How are you here?" I manage to utter, my voice barely a whisper as I search his eyes for answers.

He strokes my face tenderly, his touch sending shivers down my spine as he smiles softly. "I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't just sit and do nothing, so I left a note with my mom and told her I was coming out here," he explains, his sincerity evident in every word.

"But why?" I press, my heart pounding in my chest as I struggle to comprehend his unexpected arrival.

He kisses me gently, his lips warm against mine before resting his forehead against mine. "Because you needed me," he murmurs, his voice filled with unwavering determination. He pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me in a protective embrace. "I would do anything for you, Anya," he continues, his words resonating deep within my soul.

I shake my head in disbelief, unable to comprehend the depth of his feelings. "Why, though?" I ask, my voice tinged with disbelief and wonder.

He smiles at me, his eyes filled with a tenderness that takes my breath away. Cupping my face in his hands, he gazes into my eyes with unwavering sincerity. "Because, Anya, I'm in love with you," he confesses, his words hanging in the air like a promise of forever.

"What?!" I exclaim, my heart racing as his confession takes me by surprise.

"Anya, I was going out of my mind last night when I couldn't get a hold of you. I couldn't think of anything else but making sure you were safe and okay!" he explains, his voice filled with raw emotion. "I have never felt that way with anyone before. I knew then that I had fallen for you, and all I wanted to do was be here with you," he declares, his thumb gently wiping away a stray tear as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

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