Page 34 of Journey to Love

"Anya," Jacob's voice brings me back to reality. "Huh?" I look at him, trying to hide the internal battle raging within me. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asks again.

It's decision time, and I have to answer him. "Yes, Jacob, I'll be your girlfriend," I finally say, hoping that it's the right choice despite my conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Why did I say yes?I question myself as his arms wrap around me.The embrace feels warm and comforting, and as Jacob's lips meet mine, I try to reciprocate the happiness he's radiating. But underneath it all, there's a nagging feeling of uncertainty gnawing at me.

I can't deny that Jacob's happiness is infectious, and I want to share in it too. But deep down, there's a part of me that's nervous about what this new relationship might bring. Why couldn't I just say no and spare us both the potential heartache? But then again, maybe saying yes was the right thing to do. Perhaps this could be a positive change in my life, a chance for growth and happiness.

As Jacob holds me close, I push aside my doubts and try to focus on the present moment. Maybe, just maybe, this leap of faith will lead to something beautiful.

Jacob envelopes me in his embrace and we sit together, holding each other close. "I was afraid you might turn me down," he admits with a hint of worry in his tone. I smile softly and confess, "I was hesitant at first, but I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in your eyes if I said no." My words are sincere and filled with honesty. "I just couldn't resist that smile of yours."

Jacob lets out a warm laugh, his arms tightening around me. "I'm so glad you didn't say no. You've made me the happiest guy on this ship."

I lean back slightly to meet his gaze, feeling a surge of affection for him. "I'm happy too, Jacob. Let's make the most of our remaining time on this cruise."

With a nod and a tender smile, he leans in to kiss me once more, sealing our newfound commitment. As we stay there in each other's embrace, I can't help but feel a sense of hope and excitement for what lies ahead, even though it may be uncertain.

"Given your honesty with me, there's something I need to share," he says, his expression etched with concern and fear. Feeling the weight of his emotions, I inquire with my own sense of apprehension, "What's on your mind?"

“When I go back home, I’ll be spending the remainder of my summer working then I’ll be going into the Army. I start boot camp in September” he cautiously says. His words bring me back to Paul,Oh no! He did not say military! For a short moment I’m brought back to Paul walking in my place of work with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, wearing a military uniform. Then my mind fast forwards to Paul wearing the uniform, as he stands over me kicking me because I didn’t have his dinner ready.

My breath quickens, and Jacob notices immediately. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks, concern evident in his voice. I struggle to calm my breathing, battling to push away the memories of my traumatic past.Jacob is not Paul, Jacob is not Paul, I repeat to myself like a mantra.

Suddenly, Jacob's arm is around me, and I startle, jumping up. "Anya! What's wrong?" he asks, his worry palpable. I can't handle it; I need to escape. Without a word, I bolt to Lana, leaving Jacob behind.

Lana's eyes widen at the sight of me. "What happened?" she asks, searching for Jacob, who isn't there. "I need to go to the cabin," I choke out, tears threatening to spill over as I flee.

Jacob

What have I done? Why did I have to bring up the military? I shake off my thoughts and hurry after Anya, but Lana catches up to me before I even reach the nightclub, her expression stern.

"What did you do?" she asks, her tone sharp.

"I don’t know, one minute we were fine, I asked her to be my girlfriend –"

"You asked her to be your girlfriend!?" she interrupts incredulously.

"Yes, and then I started telling her how I was going into the Army in the fall and –"

"You what?!" she exclaims, her voice dropping to a harsh whisper. "You told her you were in the military?" Her eyes bore into mine, a mix of shock and something I can't quite place.

"Yes, what's wrong –"

"You stupid, stupid man!" Lana exclaims, delivering two sharp slaps to my chest.

"Lana, stop interrupting, please just tell me what’s going on!" I plead, feeling a wave of worry wash over me.

She rubs her face in frustration before responding. "It's not my story to tell, but all I can say is Anya has a past that involves the military," she explains, pacing back and forth and tapping her face with her index finger in agitation.

I reach out to hold Lana still. "Stop pacing, you're making me nervous," I say, my own nerves fraying at the edges.

She glares at me before her expression softens. "Look, technically it's not your fault. You don't know her past. But you did trigger it, so despite my better judgment – and I hope she doesn't end my relationship with her for what I'm about to say – you need to go talk to her," Lana advises solemnly.

"Where is she?" I ask urgently.

"She said she's going back to the cabin, but if I know Anya, after hearing 'military' she's gonna want a cigarette, and since she can't smoke on the balcony–"

I don't need her to finish the sentence; I know to look for her in the Ivory Lounge, the only room on the ship where passengers are allowed to smoke. I immediately start heading that way. Lana shouts after me, "Don't you dare hurt her and make me regret this." I wave in acknowledgment and pick up my pace.

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