Page 41 of Dying to Meet You

So, I move. I make food no one wants (but Warner decorates the kitchen floor with). I put Lego bricks together with Zach. I ask Waverly to show me the video from her dance recital. I discuss baseball with Roger.

It’s not until I find Keir crying in Wes’s room that I sit back down. Hugging him one-armed against me, I say, “What if …The boys keep talking about ninjas in the woods. Do you think we’ve had someone in the woods watching us? That they saw something?”

Keir’s head jerks to me. “I need to talk to Zach.” With purpose, he stands up, sliding his hand across the embroidered pillowcase cover and karate uniform hanging from his bed post. “I don’t know why none of us ever questioned it before now, but their imaginations are so vivid. I just...” He inhales to clear his throat. “You might be onto something.”

I keep hoping for direction from God, but I remind myself it’s hard to hear God’s voice when I’ve already decided what I want Him to say.

Chapter Twenty-Five

By any means necessary…

Eden

Weswentmissinginless than twenty minutes.

Everything changed this morning in mere minutes…

If I wasn’t distracted, if I didn’t check on Zeb and just trusted Caleb’s assessment, if I found Wes’s backpack myself, if…

If I wasn’t an abomination.

The revolting message left behind by his kidnapper only confirms all the signs I’ve ignored lately have resulted in this.

I tell myself to keep calm, because the kids are looking to us for direction. If we show how we’re feeling, it’ll add to the trauma.

That vicious voice in my head has gained momentum. Why did I think it was over, and we’d be allowed to live without more attacks?

Harrison asks if I need anything, but all I want to say is,Yes, my son back. Instead, I shake my head, biting my tongue. “Your next-door neighbor wanted me to pass along that he’s sorry about Weston. I think the days of signs and craziness are over.”

I can’t count that as a victory right now.

Knowing Weston’s not with us, and it’s getting dark out…

I bend forward as I lose my composure. My baby is probably scared. It’s dark, he’s with a psycho…Please hold on, baby. Be alive. Be alive.

Keir kneels in front of me, handing me his phone. “It’s Chris.”

What little control I have left is gone with that. I take the phone, heading for the bathroom. “I don-” I can’t get any more out.

“Mom and I are on our way. Sis…I can’t believe this is happening. Your little guy is going to make it. You hear me? Eden, listen to me. Sis, he’s got your determination and his dad’s ingenuity. We’ll be there soon. My little nephew is coming home soon. Hear me?”

I’m not able to form the words I want to.

Will he come home?

I would give my life to have him home. Safe.

“Those Realist fucks have no idea the crew they’re messing with,” Chris says, sounding so much like his brother, Hutton. For a minute, I almost believe we’ll win. Not only will we find my baby, but we’ll wipe them off the face of the earth once and for all.

Then her voice rings through my mind,“You’re nothing but an abomination. You were never meant to exist.”

Minutes later, Keir finds me in the bathroom, my hairbrush stuck in my curly strands. I’m lying balled-up on the floor, overcome with grief, because I remember what I’ve been told before: A child not found in a stranger abduction within an hour or two…is likely dead.

“I love you, Mommy. I love you to the moon and back.” His puckered lips blow me a kiss. “Forever and ever and ever.” Weston crawls into bed when the door is unlocked to play with my hair. To tell me stories. To snuggle.

“Oh, sweetheart.” The groan from Keir as he holds back tears only makes me cry harder. Together, we sit on the tiled bathroom floor, holding each other through it.

Blaine knocks at the door, opening it a crack. “Matt has news, can you c-” Seeing us, he stops short. Quickly closing the door behind him, he comes to sit on the closed toilet lid near us. “Fuck this.” He hangs his head while wiping his cheek. “How the fuck is this happening?”

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