Page 32 of The Monster at the End of This Molt

"I grabbed food from the cafeteria," he said. "Do you want to talk over dinner, or do you still need some time to process," he waved his hand at the cabin door, "everything?"

"I'm ready to talk, and I'll try to eat." After the impromptu teleportation to Tuft's house, I still felt a little queasy, not to mention emotionally overwhelmed. I hadn't been ready to visit our hatchlings' little memorial so soon after our return, and immediately on the heels of Axel's comment about adding kids' rooms.

I changed my mind the moment Robin led me to the table and pointed toward the dish of vegetable pasta on my plate. It looked delicious and smelled even better. I'd devoured half of it before I remembered.

"We're supposed to talk," I said around a forkful of pasta.

He laughed. "Eat first."

I swallowed my bite before continuing. Tuft had always hated it when I spoke with my mouth full. I swirled my fork over the top of the half-eaten vegetarian dish. "The vegetarian thing started as a lie when I first arrived at The Meadows."

"Oh?"

"It's true now. If I tried to eat meat, it would probably make me sick."

"Why the lie?"

"The big house, with everyone gathered in the dining hall, reminded me too much of what I'd left behind. I didn't deserve to make new friends."

Robin frowned. "How do you feel about it now?"

"Like an asshole." I shrugged. "That was the whole point, I suppose. I knew this day would come, when we would return home. I didn't want to leave a gaping wound in anyone's life."

I forked more noodles into my mouth and forced to chew and swallow them so I didn't ramble on like a pompous fool. "I sound ridiculous, don't I?"

"Not at all. You wanted to protect yourself from more heartache. I get it."

"It sounds worse when you say it." Was I really that selfish?

"I think you're protecting yourself from me, too."

He sounded so sad. "How so?"

"You wanted me to top because you're not ready to mark me."

"You're wrong." I wanted to pull him into my lap, but he had already tucked back into his spaghetti and meatballs to avoid eye contact. "I am ready to claim you for the world to see."

His gaze snapped back to me. "You are?"

I nodded. "Absolutely. I'll do it tonight." I thought of the little memorial stone again, and my confidence faltered.

"But?"

"I'm not ready for kids." The words rushed out of me on a breath, barely audible.

Robin studied me for a moment, and I worried he was angry with me. I'd had twenty-six years to prepare for this, after all. Plenty of time to mourn and get over my worries about losing another clutch.

Instead, I sensed hope and longing through our bond. "You want to mark me? Really?"

"Pretty sure your parents will gut me and string me up on the fortress spike if I don't." Maybe Punky had been joking, but I didn't want to push my luck.

"It's all I've wanted, my whole life." He gazed across the table at me. "As long as I have you, the rest … it seems blasphemous to say, but I don't want kids until you're ready for them. Even if you're never ready, that's fine with me."

I blinked, and hot tears dripped down my face. "Really? Even if it's never?"

He nodded. "It's not like we're going extinct anymore. Galen jokes about it being overcrowded. We're nowhere near where we were before the dragons went on their killing spree, but the folks born between you and me," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "they've been busy."

I laughed at his silly face, and then I laughed at myself because I'd been worried about this conversation. He laughed with me, and my heart swelled with love.

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