Page 43 of Dark Souls

“Oh, come on, Rubs. Let the girl live a little.” Calli winked at me and I could have kissed her on the lips. And I don’t kiss people. Ever.

Mum gave me a stare full of warning. “Fine. But only because I’m here and you are with all of us. I’m serious, Ilaria. This is a onetime thing.”

“Got it,” I smirked, snatching the bottle before she could change her mind. I threw the contents back, chugging down as much of the bitter stuff as I could.

“Woah!” Calli warned before my mum grabbed it off me. “You only need a sip!”

I coughed, fighting the urge to heave at the vile taste until it dispersed and left a strange tingly feeling on my tongue. My head instantly felt fuzzy and my whole body was heating with a wave of warmth as I smiled widely. Damn. That stuff was potent.

“Oh shit.” Calli giggled, handing the bottle to Sienna, who only took a timid swig, unlike me. “Ilaria’s on her way to a fucking good time.”

I laughed. Because it was so funny. All their faces were funny. Their noses. Why are noses so funny to look at? Like what’s the point in them? To smell, right? But why not just have holes in our face? Snakes don’t have noses! Or fish. Or worms. But they can all smell. I think…

“Hey can worms smell if they don’t have a nose?”

“Well, that was fast.” Calli cackled as the rest of the group looked at me as if I had grown another head. Had I? I raised my hands to my face to check. No. Still just the one.

“Oh Goddess.” Mum slammed her hand over her eyes. “No one tells Ezra I let our daughter do drugs.”

“It’s not! It’s a harmless potion. She’ll have a brilliant night, a little headache in the morning, but that comes as standard.” Calli flung her arm over my shoulder. “If the trees start talking to you though, Ilaria, that’s when you know it’s time to call it a night.”

I glanced around at the gigantic birch trees that surrounded us, a little relieved that they were just going about their normal tree business and nodded. Slumping back down on the fallen log around the fire, I rolled my neck and felt the tension in my body slowly ebb away. This was a good idea. Let go. Relax. Unwind. Have fun. What could go wrong?

How have I never noticed how soft grass is? As my fingers threaded through the blades and I stared up at the twinkling stars above, I decided I might enjoy camping after all. Yeah. I think I’ll sleep under the stars tonight. Right here. On the comfiest bed of grass. But I’d need to be naked. Definitely naked.

With effort, I dragged my body up to a sitting position and attempted to remove my crop top. Just as I got it around my head and tangled with the pink feather boa, I remembered I also had a long-sleeved fishnet top underneath, so I gave up. The hassle wasn’t worth it.

“What the hell are you doing?” an amused voice came from next to me. I tugged my top back down to see my mum hovering over me. Glancing around, I realised at some point I must have removed myself from the group. Music was blaring from one of the portable speakers around the campfire and everyone was dancing and laughing like they were performing some satanic ritual.

I craned my neck to look up at the pitch-black sky. I had no idea how long I’d been lying here. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Time didn’t seem that important. Nothing did. All I felt was a strange sense of freedom and serenity. I could do anything and no one could stop me. Except for removing my top, it seemed. But other than that, I was invincible. My mum dropped next to me on the grass when I hadn’t answered and gave me a lopsided grin.

“How’s that potion treating you?”

“I feel like a woman with big dick energy. It’s great.”

She burst out laughing. “When have you ever not been a woman with big dick energy? You’re my daughter, after all.”

I turned to look at her.Reallylook at her. Her unique eyes were a shade of deep violet tonight, sparkling and enchanting like gems in the moonlight. They often changed to reflect her mood and she seemed happy and relaxed. Her long black hair was slick down her back, reaching the grass behind, and although she was in her forties, thanks to her supernatural genes, she didn’t look a day over twenty-five. Not a single grey hair or wrinkle in sight. Even now, with her straight spine and regal posture, she looked out of place in her surroundings, as if she was too ethereal to belong. She was just so… effortless. I loved her so damn much, but did she always have to be so perfect? Wasn’t it exhausting?

“About the only thing we have in common.” My brain was slow to process that I had spoken the words out loud until she cocked her head to the side and stroked her hand down my hair like she always had when I was a child.

“What do you mean by that?”

I shrugged, sighing. My brain was already onto the next big question. “Did you ever wish for a different life?”

“A different life? Then the one I am living right now?” She frowned as if she had never even contemplated the question before. “No. Why would I? I have everything I have ever wanted. I’m surrounded by wonderful people, have the sexiest, most loving man by my side, incredible, kind and talented children. It hasn’t always been easy. And I’ve had my fair share of trials to get here but would I change any of it? Probably not. Because that would change the person I am today.”

Defeated, I nodded and flopped back down to lie on the grass. I knew that would be her answer. I could almost hear the words leave her lips before she even spoke them. She peered over her shoulder at me with concern on her face before she mimicked my action and stared up at the stars.

“Why? Do you wish for a different life, darling?”

Did I? I wouldn’t go as far as to say yes. But I was just growing tired of feeling so detached from the life I was living. Perhaps, with the absence of brothers, I was forced to face the truth that I’d always known but refused to accept. Even with so many people around, I always felt lonely. Like no one truly understood me.

“No. I don’t wish for a different life. I love you all and I appreciate all that I have. I just feel this constant void. This pit of darkness in my soul only seems to get deeper the longer I ignore it. In my mind, it’s like a never-ending wishing well. On the surface, moss and beautiful vines cling to its stone walls, luring me towards it and enticing me to come closer. But when I do and peer down into the abyss of black, instead of making a wish, I want to throw myself down just to find out what hides at the bottom. But I always stop myself. All the time. I fight the urge and it eats away at my soul.The not knowing.”

’Woah, this potion was better than therapy. No offence, Grandma.’ Rue made herself laugh, feeling as high as me.

“What stops you from climbing down this hypothetical well? Are you scared of what you might find at the bottom?”

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