Page 188 of Dark Souls

“Have the maids been here already? This early?” she asked, glancing from my perfectly neat bed to me.

I didn’t speak, allowing my silence to be the only answer I was willing to give as she narrowed her eyes. She lifted her chin as she walked up behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders. Her long nails dug into my skin with a pinch that bordered on pain.

“Have you only just come home?” I asked, focusing on my face in the mirror and touching up my mascara.

“Yes. I am exhausted. There is a spell that I am working on that requires a lot of my attention right now. So do not start with me and your neediness, Evangelia. I do not have the energy for it.”

I had to bite my tongue not to remind her that this was the first time I had seen her in three days and that most of her time spent at the coven she leads in Devon or with my father was taking up her energy, not her estranged daughter she graced with her presence every so often.

“Sorry, mother.”

She lifted her hands off my shoulders and tugged my hair out of its ponytail, raking her fingers through it and pulling apart the knots. I winced when she tugged much harder than she needed, but I knew better than to complain. That only ever made it last longer and for her to pull harder.

“Where are you going so early?”

“Leif texted. He wants me to pick him up. He’s drunk. Again.”

Her fingers paused in my hair as she stared at me, a slow, calculating smile creeping up her face. “He messaged you?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

She yanked my hair aggressively, forcing my head back. “Enough of that tone with me, young lady.” Her fingers softened, stroking down my silky blonde locks. “That is good. Promising. We are finally getting somewhere. We all know it has taken forever, and I was beginning to lose hope that anyone would want you.”

I stared at the lipstick in my hand, fighting the sad emotions and pushing them down, deep beneath layers of self-loathing, insecurity and numbness. Leif didn’t want me. He was hurting and going through a shit time and I made myself available to him because my dad told me too. That’s all it was. Just like every other time they’d demanded I try to seduce the men of that family. Raiden when he became a professor. Lorcan and Leif countless times during the years at the academy. But Neve and Ilaria had always been there, like the fucking cockblocks they were. I tried to befriend them at the start, but they were tight. Like sisters. And they wouldn’t let me into their trusted circle, which made it all the more infuriating when that new girl, Sienna, was welcomed in with open arms. The constant rejections and the disappointment from my parents hacked away at my self-esteem for years, turning me into this. A girl who didn’t even know herself anymore, let alone like herself. I couldn’t take my anger out on the people who caused me the most pain with their manipulation and harsh words. So I took it out on everyone else instead. I became a mean girl. I became a horrible person. But I didn’t want to be. Not anymore. Since we graduated, I’ve realised just how pointless and insignificant all of this was. What was the point when none of it made me happy?

“What if I don’t go?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper as I rotated the lipstick in my hand.

My mother’s hands froze in my hair but this time, not in delighted surprise but in annoyance. “Don’t be ridiculous. Why would you not go? You need to make him fall in love with you, Evangelia. Leif has always been the best choice, as he is the least likely to find a fated mate being a warlock. And he is vulnerable right now. We must take advantage of that. Be the person he needs and relies on.”

“It just seems… cruel.” My whole body tensed in fear of her reaction. Arguing with her had never gone well in the past. But I was so sick of all of this. “It’s cruel to pretend. I like Leif. He’s actually nice to me. I don’t want to use him.”

“Don’t be weak-minded as well as pathetic, Evangelia. What is your purpose if you do not have to do your duty and advance this family up the social ladder?”

What was my purpose? Tears stung behind my eyes, but I couldn’t be sure if it was from her words or the aggressiveness of each stroke of the hairbrush she sent repeatedly flying down my hair.

“We have given you everything, have we not? Anything you have ever desired has been yours. Your father and I have worked to the bone and made so many sacrifices to give you this life and when we ask one little thing of you, you refuse us?”

“It’s just… what about my soulmate? I don’t want to be in a relationship when he finds me. And I want what you and father have.”

“Don’t be naïve, child. Do you know how long it took your father and me to find each other? You are still so young. And who is to say that your soulmate is even looking for you? He may be dead, for all we know. Then what are you waiting for? You wish to be alone all your life? Cast aside like a good-for-nothing whore? Because your father and I will not support you forever, you know.” She waved her hand around my room. “All this… it could be taken away from you in the blink of an eye, and what will you be left with? Nothing. You are a mediocre witch and a typical vampire. You couldn’t even win a fight against that fae hybrid, Sienna.”

“She is royalty! And a fae with four elements! I never stood a chance.” I couldn’t help but defend myself, but of course, I regretted it immediately as fire blazed in my mother’s unsettling eyes.

“More excuses. It is all we hear from you. We had such high hopes when you were born that you would have your father’s drive and ambition and my magical talents and brains, but all we have is a pretty face. So you make the most of what you are given. It is time for you to stop living in a fairytale and find your own security. Do something useful for once in your goddamn life.”

Her voice was rising to that furious screech that sent tremors of fear through me. I shook my head quickly, but I already knew it was too late. She was losing her temper and there was no way back from it. Yet, I still tried to calm her.

“I’m sorry. You’re right–”

She yanked me up by my hair, causing me to cry out. Spinning me towards her, she placed her hand around my jaw and I felt my veins filling with poison, turning them black as they climbed up my face. The agony was blinding.

“You will meet with Leif and you will do everything in your power to make him fall in love with you. Do you understand?” she hissed, her magic overpowering every cell in my body as I slowly nodded, just wanting it to end.

She shoved me back by my face and I crashed down onto my bed, gasping for air.

“Good. Call me later. Let me know how it goes. I’ll be gone for a few days but the maids and chef are available for whatever you need.” She moved across the room, yanking her fur coat out from under me.

“Will father be here?” I asked quietly, because I hated being alone in this vast house and he was the only one that pretended to give a crap about me.