Page 53 of Dark Souls

We sat in silence for a little while, staring straight ahead until I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. She was right. I was still processing, but it also felt good to talk to someone about him.

“He’s gorgeous, Grandma. I hate how hot he is.”

She scoffed and smiled. “Of course he is. How could he not be as your mate? Let me guess, he’s broody, dark and dangerous. A little different?”

I nodded, the image of his face appearing in my mind. Those blazing eyes always slanted into a passionate glare. The stubbled, strong jawline and full lips. That ruthless scar just added to his mystery. His mouth-watering physique oozed power and agility. That tanned skin covered in tats. That huge, pierced dick. And that deep crimson hair. He was so fucking sexy it was sinful.

“Yeah, he’s definitely dark. Pretty much the ultimate punk bad boy.” I exhaled a frustrated breath. “A face like that isn’t easy to forget. I can’t stop thinking about him. About how right he felt. I feel like such an idiot.”

“No. You are not an idiot. No man walks away from their soulmate without a good reason. It may not be a good reason to us, but to him, maybe it is. He’s running scared. But you’re not, Ilaria. I know you. I know who you are, and you don’t give up. Not when it’s something you want. And you want him, right?”

“I—” I hesitated. Yes, I wanted him. But I wasn’t sure I wanted someone who didn’t want me back. I had more pride than that. “What if he doesn’t want me?”

“Trust me, if he found you on purpose, and you slept together, he wants you on some level. So don’t pay any attention to his ‘forget me’,” she said with conviction. My eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t even try, Ilaria. He is your soulmate. Yes, he did a dickish thing and you need to give him hell for it. Don’t let him get away with it. Find him and make him explain himself. And go from there. Because you will always feel regret if you just walk away. And we both know that isn’t you. You are a Romano. It’s in your blood to fight for what you want.”

“You’re right.” I stood up abruptly, brushing down my skirt. “I’m a motherfucking Romano and once I find him, he’s gonna realise exactly what that means.”

“That’s our girl!” Grandma smiled widely with that naughty twinkle in her eyes that only the women in my family had who always knew how to get what they wanted. As we grabbed the pile of books and headed back towards the dining room, I felt that steadfast determination ignite inside me. I had no idea how I’d find him or how long it would take, but I would. And when I did, I wouldn’t be letting him forget me so easily.

Remembering the other upcoming event I had on my calendar, I paused before we came into ear-shot of the dining room. If anyone in my family had fancy dress costumes, it would be this woman. “Grandma, you don’t happen to have a black wig that I can borrow, do you?”

She beamed, clearly thinking this undercover look would be used to lure out my mate or something. “Oh yeah, of course I do. Meet me in the red room after this.” She winked.

My grandparents’ red room of pleasure?No thanks. I’d rather shave all the hair off my head than borrow a wig from there. I gagged dramatically, which caused her to roar with laughter as she strolled into the dining room armed with more hefty books.

Tortured Soul

IthoughtI’dhitrockbottom a long time ago. I thought it was impossible to become any more ruthless than I already was or any angrier at the hand fate had dealt me. It turned out I was wrong. Because Ilaria Romano-Black was meant to be mine and I couldn’t have her. And that fact was tearing my damned soul apart in ways I never knew were possible. But I had no one to blame but myself.

From the moment I left that cabin days ago, my savageness knew no bounds. My mood was violent and merciless, with no end in sight. I’d hunted. I’d killed. I’d destroyed. I’d tortured. Others and myself. But none of it made an ounce of fucking difference. No matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the rage that was eating me up inside. My skin felt too tight. Like I needed to break out of my body because this physical vessel wasn’t enough to contain my darkness anymore.

Ilaria was all that was on my mind. I couldn’t stop the thoughts of her. They ran so deep beneath my skin that they’d lodged themselves permanently in the hollow of my bones. Her scent. Her eyes. That feisty, confident attitude. The smoothness of her skin beneath my rough hands. The feel of being buried inside her. Of claiming what was mine.

The discipline of having to stay away from her was the worst torture I’d ever endured and I’d experienced my fair share. So, they weren’t exaggerating when they spoke about soulmates. Knowing that the person meant for you was in this world could never be yours made the idea of life without them a torture worse than death.

“P-please,” the man sobbed, his cheeks wet with tears and his jeans sodden with piss and blood as he kneeled before me, his hands clasped together in prayer. “Please. Just kill me. End this now.”

I grabbed his hands, bending them unnaturally until the bones cracked and he roared out in pain.

“There is no God here to answer your prayers. So don’t even try.”

His body slumped forward on the floor, blood pouring out of so many punctures and gashes that the scent of the coppery tang infected the stale air of the cellar below the manor I called home. But it wasn’t my home. It was my prison. My whole life was a prison. And one that I deserved because of the choices I’d made.

He continued to blubber, snot, blood and tears making his pleas incoherent, especially with his fangs ripped out. But his suffering only fuelled the fire blazing deep in my black soul. Normally, Heathen was sent to end the lives of traitors ofThe Undergroundbut seeing as I was doing everything in my power to keep him away from Ilaria, I had been taking on his responsibilities myself. I knew it couldn’t last, but it was the best I could do until I came up with a more permanent solution.

This vampire caused quite a scene at a recent social gathering. I had to break up a violent fight between him and a wolf before the entire night became a bust and The Devil had my head for it. It turned out this vampire had bitten another member’s mate and tried to sexually assault her when the wolf was out of sight.

This man saw an opportunity for revenge, stemming from a personal vendetta dating back to times when vampires and wolves weren’t so amicable, and took it. The idiot was just stupid enough to do it under my watch. The members can do what the fuck they want outsideThe Undergroundbut the minute they walk through those doors, I was their judge and jury.

Under normal circumstances, I would have offered this vampire up to the wolf in private and let him rip him to pieces for doing something so despicable. Fuck with each other by all means but bringing family or mates into it was high on my list of reasons to die. The wolf had pleaded with me to let him be the one to end him, but I needed this more. I needed an outlet for this rage. Though I was realising, even after days of brutally torturing him, this wasn’t even touching the sides.

“P-p-please. Have mer—”

I grabbed the top of his black hair and ripped his head from his body. I couldn’t even be assed with the effort of tormenting him anymore.

Heavy breaths caused my chest to rise and fall as I watched the life drain from his eyes while his decapitated head hung from my hand. Gone. Just like that. A life over. I waited for any emotion to hit me. For something. Anything. But I felt nothing.

Beneath the constant anger, I was numb. It was the way I had been since the day I held my mother’s corpse in my arms and had shattered to pieces because I had never felt pain like that. Since that day, I decided I couldn’t take a minute more of feeling this brutal world ripping me apart, piece by fucking piece. Since the day I turned off my humanity.

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