Page 50 of Dark Souls

I stopped breathing. Every muscle in my body turned to ice. I knew it. Deep down in my bones, I think I had known it the moment I saw her. I shouldn’t have felt anything with no connection to my emotions, but I had. I’d felt so many things since I first saw her over a week ago on that tape. And a million more tonight.

I stood up quickly, putting space between us, but it was pointless because she was already asleep.

“Fuck!”

Dropping into the armchair, I ran my hands through my hair, wanting to rip it out for allowing this to happen. I’d just fucked my soulmate and I had no intention of sticking around. I lifted my head to look at her. She was so beautiful it physically hurt and I had no choice but to walk away from her.

I wasn’t the man she thought I was and definitely not the man she deserved. That man died along with his humanity. After centuries on this planet, I’d given up on ever finding her. The one who had the potential to save me. And now it was too late. Because I had nothing to offer her. Nothing left but hate and anger. I was a phantom, barely existing.

Hours passed, and I was still unable to move, knowing once I did, it would be the last time I saw her. I sat there watching the slow rise and fall of her chest from the corner of the room. Now and again, she’d release a soft, ragged sigh of bliss that tightened my chest. She looked so content. I wondered what that was like. To sleep so peacefully.

I needed to get out of here. Pick a fight. Kill. Feed. I needed to be anywhere but here. But I just couldn’t find the strength to leave. I was so fucking tired. Tiredness was my constant companion, but tonight, I had no energy left. For the first time in years, emotions stronger than just hate had broken through those cement walls and left me drained. In another lifetime, before my life was destroyed, we might have had a chance. This might have been something. I might have been a better man. But I wasn’t. And this could never work.

Forcing myself to stand, I walked over to her sleeping form on the bed and tugged the bedspread over her. I leaned over to take one more deep inhale of her scent and picked up the pink feather boa. Lifting it to my nose, the scent of her on it was so strong that I knew I couldn’t part with it. I’d be taking this as a memento of our short time together.

Picking up her deep crimson lipstick that had fallen on the floor, I walked into the bathroom and wrote the only two words I could think of as the icy depths of my heart froze a little more. This was what was best for her. She’d hate me for it, but that was good. Hating me was better than the alternative.

Making my way to the door, I paused as I stared at the journal. As for Heathen, I’d have to deal with him. Because whatever the hell his plans were for her, I wasn’t about to stand by and let him put her life in danger. She already knew too much. Keeping her safe and alive was now my new priority and the only way that was possible was to keep her as far away from the fucked up world we lived in. Thank gods my blackened heart was already made of stone. Otherwise, I was sure I’d have felt it shatter as I closed the door behind me.

Forget Me

Asthemorningsunfiltered through the window, I stared at the two words written across the bathroom mirror in my crimson lipstick and allowed my fangs to snap down in fury. If it wasn’t for this message and the delicious ache between my legs from the hottest fuck I’d ever had, I might have thought last night was a dream. But no. The proof that it had really happened was staring me in the face. And to really twist the knife he’d just plunged into my heart, he’d ruined my favourite lipstick that was discontinued to do it.Absolute dickhead. My hands tightened their grip on the porcelain sink so fiercely that I knew if I didn’t calm down, I’d end up doing even more damage to Miles’ cabin.

Forget Me.

Forget him? Fucking forget him? Was he serious? What did he think last night was? A one-night stand? The fact he even thought he could hook-up with his soulmate and just take off without so much assee you laterhad me reeling with so much anger and frustration, I felt like I was about to detonate. How fucking dare he! Screw forgetting him, I’d hunt him down and kill him for treating his own soulmate like a first-class hooker.

‘Calm down. I am sure there is an explanation for this.’Rue tried to be the rational one for the first time in our life, which just proved how pissed I really was.

‘Oh yeah? What possible explanation could he have for fucking us, telling us to forget him and leaving before sunrise that would prove he isn’t the biggest asshole ever born?’I demanded and felt her bristle at my tone, but she still retreated, knowing there really was no hidden agenda in his actions. They spoke loud and clear. He didn’t want me.

I’d never felt more like an idiot in my entire life. For the first time, I’d let my guard down with someone instantly because I believed that he was the one person who would never hurt me. He was my soulmate for Christ’s sake. If I couldn’t trust him not to break my heart, how could I ever trust anyone in this life?

Serves me right for thinking with my vagina instead of my brain.

I let the excitement, Calli’s lethal drink and his insane hotness impact my sanity and threw myself at him. I wasn’t blaming him for the sex. That was on me. I wanted it. Did I regret it? As much as I wanted to, I knew I didn’t. But clearly, I was deluded to think he and I were on the same page. Just because he fucked me, it didn’t mean he wanted me for anything more. I swallowed the emotions that threatened to come to the surface. No. No way in hell was I crying over some arrogant prick who didn’t even have the balls to reject me to my face. Not that vampires could be rejected anyway. And that realisation stung even more.

For werewolves, rejection of fated mates was uncommon but still very possible. Wolves could reject their mate as long as they hadn’t physically marked them yet and sealed their souls together through their bond. But vampires were different. The bond was instant and intense. Our souls were destined for each other no matter what. The only way a bond could be broken was through death. So, yep, looks like I was going to have to kill him after all.

’You’re not serious! Because I’ll never allow it,’ Rue yelled.

I sighed, lowering my head to my chest because I couldn’t look at those two words or my hungover reflection for a second longer.

’Of course I’m not serious. But what are we supposed to do now? Because you and I both know, forgetting him and pretending we don’t know he is out there somewhere living his life while we live ours is not going to work for us.’

‘Then we will find him. And we make him grovel.’

‘And if he doesn’t want to grovel? If he doesn’t want anything to do with us? Then what? And have you forgotten that we were so wasted and horny last night that we didn’t even find out a damn thing about him? We don’t even know his name! Where on Earth do we even begin to look for him?’

Once again, she shut up because she knew I was right. This was a mess. But what’s new? Apparently, everything in my life was in chaos. My mind drifted to Heathen and just how reckless I had been last night. I knew what Heathen was capable of and how possessive he was over me. Sleeping with Red (that’s what the asshole was going to have to go by) was dangerous. If Heathen had shown up, Red would no longer be breathing. Though the darkness I’d glimpsed in my mate last night made me believe he was someone people feared, he’d still be no match for a Demonski Upir, right? Maybe him disappearing on me was for the best. I had enough on my plate with an obsessed demon stalker who apparently needed my help. For what, I still didn’t know. I had the Underground event to prepare for. My brothers were struggling to defeat the evil in the Heroux realm alone and my family were focused on helping them by throwing themselves into vigorous research. I had plenty of things to keep my mind occupied. The last thing I needed in my life was a disgustingly hot bad boy who fucks like a god but can’t stick around to have breakfast with his soulmate. He wants me to forget him? Fine. Consider it done.

’Pfft.’Rue rolled her eyes. Yeah, we both knew we weren’t forgetting him ever but I refused to sit around and throw a pity party. That just wasn’t my style. I’d find him one way or another.

“What the hell happened here? Ilaria?” my mum’s voice bellowed from the doorway and I dived forwards, wiping the lipstick off the mirror with my sleeve in haste. God, another secret I was going to have to keep from my family because if they found out about this, I’d be mortified, and he’d be a walking dead man. On second thoughts…

‘Don’t you dare!’

I walked out of the bathroom looking like a complete disaster. I was still in last night’s clothes and my hair was a tangled mess from falling asleep with it still damp and roughed up from the best sex I’d had— no, not even going there!

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