Page 224 of Dark Souls

Dropping my head in my hands and bending my knees, I apologised profusely, fighting back tears.

Zoran sat beside me, threw his broken arm over my shoulder with a wince and pulled me into him. He let me be upset. He let me get it all out of my system before we headed home. When I was done, he said, “You did good. You killed one. We are no match for hellfire. There was nothing you could have done under that net.”

“I should have checked behind me. I should have watched my back.”

“But you didn’t need to. You had me watching your back for you.” He smirked, nudging my shoulder with his. “And that is why we hunt in pairs. It’s okay to need a little help sometimes, Lukas.”

“You don’t need any help,” I grunted, hanging my head.

He chuckled darkly. “I fucking did. And guess who always had my back?”

“Father?” I guessed, knowing how close they were.

He nodded. “That’s the way it goes. He was my teacher, my protector, my defender. And I am yours, just like you will be Hana’s. I always feel safe when he is around. If you don’t feel safe, that is my fault, brother. Not yours.”

“I feel safe when you’re around,” I admitted. He nodded in approval and stood up, staring at all the bodies.

“At least we will eat well tonight.”

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up straight, wheezing. I felt an intense ache in my chest from reliving that memory and an acute sense of loss. My eyes met Alina’s.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. That must have been hard, but I am so proud of you. You did really well.”

I swallowed thickly and slouched back in the chair, wiping the beads of sweat off my forehead.

“I think we should leave it there for today.”

I blinked at her, still trying to process that memory and the feelings it provoked. But when I tried to think of it again, I couldn’t. My mind had gone completely blank. The feelings of loss, love, pain but also happiness dwindled away into the abyss, and I was left with nothing.

“No. I… I want to remember,” I blurted, my mind made up. “I want to turn my humanity back on. Help me do it.”

Alina leaned forwards and smiled. “Only you can do that, Luka. But I think with a few more sessions, you will figure out how. We can pick back up tomorrow when you’ve had some rest and processed. You really did amazingly well, Luka. Well done.”

She stood up, and I wanted to scream at her to sit back down, but I refrained. I suddenly felt exhausted. I settled down on the sofa and closed my eyes. I felt Alina standing nearby. She said nothing but just patted my shoulder on her way out. As soon as the door locked, I fell into another dreamless sleep.

The Raven

“Morninnnn1gggg,”Isaidina singsong voice, chirpier than I usually felt at this time of day. I’d been up for hours thanks to our sunrise chat and had a great start to my day. I was so proud of Luka for going straight to my grandma that I celebrated by torturing Belladonna. Then I had a shower, singing and dancing to my favourite playlist. Read in the library. And I’d just come down for breakfast in time to catch my grandpapi before he headed to the Academy.

Grandpapi looked down at his watch in surprise while Grandma Maddy frowned at my overly enthusiastic mood. “You are smiling before eight in the morning. Have you even had any coffee yet?”

“Didn’t need it. I am high on life.”

“We can see that.”

I took a seat at the table and poured myself a black coffee, even though I really didn’t need it. Luka’s blood was enough to keep me satisfied, and my energy levels were at an all-time high.

“Where’s Luka?” Grandma asked.

“Therapy.”

Grandma smiled softly but Grandpapi raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to say that. Good for him.”

I nodded, feeling hopeful that Grandma Alina could help him in some way, whether it be to support him to see himself as worthy or to turn his humanity back on. It didn’t matter to me. I just wanted him to be happy. It hurt to see him so deflated this morning when he expected to feel so much more. But I knew in my mind that Luka would find peace one day and until then, I could be happy for both of us.

My new phone vibrated on the table and I opened a message from Grandma.

He did well. It took a lot from him, so I left him in the room to relax. I’m sure he will be back soon. Do you need a session after everything that’s happened, sweetie?

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