Page 61 of Vodka and Chocolate Drops

What would he order for supper? Did he favor the cheese-and-basil pizza, too? Would he want a vodka shot as he did when they hung out at Brew Babies? How many times had the two of them sat elbow to elbow at the bar, knocking back a shot and eating peanuts while shooting the breeze? With her father.

As she walked to his table, half wishing there was another waitress on tonight, she studied him with fresh eyes. Amber had her mother’s long fingers. Her eyes, her chin. She looked a lot like Gloria, just as Delia did. However, John had a slight cowlick to the left just like she did. She studied his ears as she set down his cutlery, wishing she could remember what her own ears looked like.

“You figured it out, didn’t you?” John said with a slight smile.

“Sounds like you did, too?”

“I’ve always wondered, despite what your mother said. But in Mandy’s the other night it was like a light bulb went off. There can’t be any other explanation.”

“My mom doesn’t know I figured it out,” Amber said in a whisper, knowing that others were likely eavesdropping--as they always did.

“She hasn’t said anything?” he asked in surprise.

“No. You?”

“Never. Liked to chase me away whenever I broached the topic,” he said in a low voice. He looked up from studying the menu. “What’s on tap tonight?”

“No shot? Benny has several brands of vodka.”

“I’m planning on having the new burger. The California something-or-other? I thought maybe a beer would go nicely with it.”

“We carry Brew Babies pale ale and it’s been popular with the burger.” The fact that he wasn’t ordering vodka left her feeling inexplicably hollow and as though their shared shots and companionship hadn’t been real. She realized now just how important his company had been to her.

“Sounds good. I’ll take a pint.”

The usual joy that came with customers accepting her recommendations didn’t arrive. He was being so official, a proper customer. Not warm or casual. He was putting up barriers.

Was he trying to make sure other diners wouldn’t pick up a hint in his body language? Or maybe he’d solved the mystery and now the reality of having her as his daughter didn’t seem so bright and shiny.

Amber half wondered if this was how he’d acted when Gloria had told him about Delia. Just slowly withdrawn and shut her out. Suddenly, John as her mother’s dismissive ex-boyfriend, the man Amber disliked for his treatment of her mom, didn’t seem quite so impossible.

Amber glanced at the neighboring tables, ensuring that customers weren’t trying to get her attention, and said, “I can see it in the way my mom looks at you that she never got over you. She had no other viable choice when Delia was born. She was a teenager with a crappy home life and no education. You decimated her with your actions, your words. She is a strong, capable, kind, and caring woman who did a fine job of raising me.” Amber rested her fingers on the tabletop, leaning close enough to whisper, “So whatever happens and whatever you choose to do, don’t you dare judge her again and make her regret everything good she’s done for her daughters.”

John froze, and for a moment Amber thought he’d had a stroke, he was so still.

“Okay,” he said with a nod, looking at her with a mix of pride and surprise. “Okay.”

She straightened her spine, realizing that she was strong enough to say what she needed to say. Strong enough to stand up for the people in her life who mattered most. Strong enough to help right a past mistake.

“I was the one in the wrong, not your mother.” John’s hands slowly closed into fists, his eyes growing stormy. “I was so focused on myself and my career that I did and said some very hurtful things. I’m not proud of who I was or how I acted.” His voice was getting louder and he quickly lowered it again. “Your mother was very brave. I betrayed her trust.” His eyes filled with moisture and Amber realized he’d likely been kicking himself for a very long time, and had probably been trying to make amends in any way he could. “I was a fool. If I’d stood up to my parents things would have been different. So different.”

“You wouldn’t have Marisa.” Amber pressed her hand over his, silencing him. There was no point walking the what-if road. It only led to dark caves and forests with gnarly looking trees that left you so unsettled you couldn’t sleep at night.

“The past is the past,” she said. “I’m staying in Blueberry Springs. There is plenty of time to talk about the future, if that’s what you’d like to focus on.”

She was staying.

She was staying!

She needed to talk to Scott. She needed to stop him from leaving.

John nodded, his composure back, and Amber focused on her job, not running off after the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

“I’d like that,” John said, clearing his throat, pulling it together. And in that moment, Amber realized that he needed her just as much as she’d always thought she’d needed him.

* * *

“You can’t leave Blueberry Springs.”Amber felt desperate, but she sucked in her courage, placing her hands on her hips to show she meant business.

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