Page 72 of Vodka and Chocolate Drops

“He was named as your legal guardian in case anything ever happened to me,” her mom said.

“But not any longer?” John asked.

“She’s all grown up.”

He turned to Amber again. “There are a million excuses I could offer, Amber, but nothing will give you back the time you were denied. The relationship you deserved.”

Her mother immediately added in his defense, “I made it pretty clear that he was not to ask me again, and I told him that you weren’t his. If you’re going to be mad, be mad at me.”

So this was what it was like to have two parents. They stuck up for each other, but nobody stuck up for her?

“Do you like vodka?” she asked John.

He gave her a frown. “Yes.”

“And actually enjoy it? Or was it all an act? Hanging out at Brew Babies all those times, eating nuts and drinking vodka?” Her voice had taken a sharp, snappy edge, her hurt showing in her voice.

Marisa gave her father a look and Amber wondered if his attempts to be in Amber’s life had left his own daughter hanging. Soccer coaching. Helping Amber’s friends with legal issues. Even helping her move to the city the first time, telling her he was going that way, anyway, with a trailer, to pick up something in a deal that hadn’t worked out in the end. The man had told fibs in order to help her out, but how much of it was genuine and how much was guilt?

“I’m sorry if me being around took away from you--if John trying to fix my life from the sidelines meant less father time for you,” Amber said to Marisa.

“No, it was fine,” she replied, looking a bit confused. “He was a great dad.”

Amber, uncertain where all her sudden anger had come from, and certain she was going to say something she’d regret, quickly excused herself and flew to the washroom. She shut the door and sat on the edge of the tub, wishing there was a way she could hide out the entire night. There was just too much to process. Too overwhelming. Everyone was accepting everything, eager to be one big happy family. But what about the past? You couldn’t just sweep it under the rug. There had been years of hurt and abandonment she needed to process.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Delia.

What’s up?

Amber replied,Family reunion where I’m supposed to act as though my parents’ past actions haven’t affected me, and be the smiling, happy kid who is delighted to have the family reunited. As you can tell, I’m having trouble finding my excitement, even though I’ve always wanted this.

It was funny. Delia was the one person she felt the closest to right now. The one person who might be able to understand the mix of emotions she had swirling through her like a blizzard.

You okay?

Amber’s eyes welled up and she mouthed,No.

It was too much. The past month had been life-changing and she was exhausted. So much had happened in so little time. So many things about her life had shifted that she didn’t know what to think any longer. She didn’t know what to feel. She wished she could sit on a couch eating popcorn with Delia and not think at all. Or curl up with Scott and watch some cheesy movie, with him laughing beside her. Instead, she was hiding in the bathroom on what should have been the happiest night of her life.

Amber?

Still here.

Be kind to yourself. I had a whole lifetime to get used to the idea of having another family somewhere. You only had a few weeks, and everything is changing. It’s exciting, but emotionally taxing, too. You don’t have to be strong. You can feel however you feel right now.

Tears blurred Delia’s text message.

It’s okay if it’s overwhelming. It will get easier.

Promise?

Promise.

Amber loved having a big sister.

Want to play hooky? I’m babysitting Blossom in an hour, but why don’t you come help me? Her parents won’t mind another sitter and Blossom has the best giggle in the world. Hanging out with her puts everything into perspective. Although it doesn’t seem to help the biological clock I have ticking inside me. Ha ha.

Do you have chocolate drops?Amber replied.

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