Page 54 of Vodka and Chocolate Drops

Tears were streaking down her cheeks like missiles. “I’m scared, okay?”

“Of me?”

She shook her head, picking at the pine gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

“Then?”

She shrugged, unable to say it, a large lump forming in her chest, making it difficult to breathe without hiccuping.

“What?” His voice was loud, echoing back over the valley.

“Of… of ruining everything. Okay?” She stood up, suddenly angry. “Of wrecking everything. Our friendship. Your reputation. I mean, look at me. Actually look at me, Scott. Not who you think I am or my potential or your fantasy of me or whatever you think you see. I’m nothing special. I screw things up. My family is one big screwed-up secret. I’m not something great and wonderful. I like Blueberry Springs. I like waitressing. I’m… I’m one step away from showing up at bingo with curlers in my hair. I’ll never be mayor. I’m the kind of person boyfriends make fun of in books. I can’t… I just…” Amber choked up, feeling so empty and worthless and hurt that she couldn’t even begin to process everything swirling up within her like a muddy lake bottom in a storm. She collapsed onto the metal walkway with a clang, sobbing as every worthless feeling inside broke free.

She covered her face, embarrassed at the way she was ugly crying in front of the man she had planned to woo. She didn’t know whether to be mad at him for giving her space and not comforting her, or relieved.

“They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” she sniffed through her tears, “but I sure don’t feel any stronger.”

“You’re also not dead,” he said, carefully placing himself beside her so they were shoulder to shoulder. “That’s something, right?”

She let out a choked laugh, mopping her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

“You’re even leaving,” she said. “Leaving the town you love. Leaving me. How can you ask for forever when you’re not staying?”

“Aren’t you leaving?” His voice was gentle.

Stupid Blueberry Springs. Of course she wasn’t leaving. The town had her hooked. She’d served her first burger, and now she was stuck here forever. It had lured her into its comforting familiarity, and now the idea of moving back to the city, of being a stranger who didn’t matter, felt exhausting and chilling.

“I’ve always been honest about where I stand on that matter,” she said, not wanting to let him be right. “I’m not going to change.”

She’d tried and had failed.

“I happen to like you the way you are.”

“No you don’t!” she exploded. “You want me to change. You say I’m not ready, and all this other mumbo-jumbo, instead of wanting me the way I am.” She stood, yelling at him, not caring if anyone in the park below could hear her. “I want a man who is proud of me, proud to be by my side and tell everyone that he loves me just the way I am. Who isn’t secretly trying to make me into something else. I’m not anyone else. I’m me. I’m Amber and I serve a purpose. I’m important.”

Scott’s expression became unreadable. “I never asked you to change. I only want you to come to me when you’re ready. Ready to be mine until the end of time. You can never brush your hair again and I’ll still love you, still want you as mine. But you have to be ready, Amber. You have to be ready in here.”

He pointed to her heart.

“And until you can say the words I need to hear, you’re not.”

Darn him. Darn him and his perfect lines crumbling her inner bad mood. Darn him for always being right.

He gently placed a kiss on her lips, which brought her falling against him, trying to get closer, willing the tingles that seared her skin to never stop, but to keep building as she knew they would. As they would only with a man like Scott. Only Scott.

He broke away and she said, “You are one steamy guy, Officer Malone, and if there is one thing I do in this life it will be to prove to you that I am ready.”

His gaze burned and he grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He stared at her with an intensity that made her feel as though there could never be any secrets between them. That he saw the truth--she did love him, even if she couldn’t say the words.

He blinked, breaking the spell. “You don’t even own curlers and you don’t play bingo.”

She lifted her chin, jerking free. “I could buy curlers. Maybe those fuzzy ones I’ve seen Mary Alice wear while walking her dog.”

“But you won’t.” His gaze was smoldering again. “I won’t let you.”

“Try and stop me.”

His look took her breath away as he snatched her hand, pushing it above her head against the water tank. Then he kissed her in a way that made her think maybe hehadseen all of her all this time, and maybe, just maybe, he still loved her. And all she had to do was find that secret piece that would put them together.

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