Page 25 of Vodka and Chocolate Drops

“About my dad?” There was something off about her mother’s behavior, and Amber wondered once again how much John knew. “Nothing.”

Gloria watched her carefully. Then, seemingly satisfied, she gave a short nod, her shoulders relaxing.

Yep. John definitely knew something.

“Can you tell me something about my dad? I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Amber, it’s complicated.” Her mother was using her exasperated voice.

“I know.”

How could she convince Gloria it was safe to open up to her? So many secrets had been revealed, and yet nothing had come from any of them. Amber was no closer to understanding herself and no closer to resolving her past. Having the unknown just out of reach was driving her to distraction.

“Amber, you can’t… I never asked him to help.”

“Why not? Why didn’t he step up, anyway?”

“I didn’t ask him to because I was embarrassed. He’s successful. Wonderful. And I had gotten myself pregnant again and should have known better.”

They had sat down at the kitchen table and Amber cupped her hand over her mother’s in support. “It takes two to tango, Mom.”

She could tell that her father had seared a tattoo on her mother’s heart, and despite everything, she still carried a torch for him. How could that even be possible?

“He’s a family man now, just not my family man,” her mother said softly, and Amber could hear the sorrow and longing in her voice. She’d had cared enough to keep track of him.

But what kind of man went off to raise his own family and ignored Gloria’s? Sure, it happened to plenty of women, but still. This washermother.

Wait. He was a family man. That meant Amber had half siblings.

In the period of a few days she had gone from an only child to having several siblings. It was a good thing she was sitting down already, otherwise she would probably have needed a chair.

As a teen she’d half wondered whether Philip had gone on to have more kids, but it hadn’t felt real. Not like this.

She was a sister several times over. And she had no clue who her siblings were or if they even knew of her existence. What if one of her friends was actually related to her?

No, couldn’t be. Her father wasn’t from town.

“He didn’t need some waitress coming to him about love children.”

“Wait!” Amber held up her hand, trying to guess the meaning of her mother’s words. “Wait. He doesn’tknow?”

“Why would I come forward after all these years? I’m nothing special. Just a chubby, washed-up, middle-aged woman who never amounted to anything. I never even got out of this town to go see the world.”

See the world.

Johnhadknown her mother well. And he definitely knew more than Amber had realized.

“You’re an amazing woman and not justsomewaitress,” Amber said, trying to console her mom, wanting her to know that she thought the world of her. And yet her mind was still stuck on the idea that her father didn’t know who she was.

“You can memorize twenty-five orders. That’s more than just ‘some waitress’.” Amazed as a child at how her mother could balance loaded plates all the way up her arm, and cup three water glasses in the palm of one hand, Amber had brought all the kids she could find into Benny’s to show off her and her skills. Back then being a waitress had seemed glamorous, not a job for someone with no other options.

“Amber, you all ordered Orange Crush and French fries, except for Devon, who ordered root beer. It was hardly a challenge.”

“Oh.”

“That’s all nine-year-olds order if given a choice.” Gloria propped her head in her hands and Amber found herself echoing the pose.

“So, he doesn’t know who I am? That I exist?” she confirmed.

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