Page 52 of The Cowboy's Surprise Return

“I know,” she blurted.

“I’m glad you found each other, and I know my return hasn’t been easy for either of you.”

“It’s fine.”

She was such a poor liar.

“April?”

“Okay, okay. The rumors weren’t awesome.” She’d crossed her arms, and was chewing on the corner of her mouth. “But we took care of them.” There was a telling ghost of a smile playing at her lips.

So theyhadeloped to defeat some of the gossip. He chuckled, knowing that without the rumors it might have taken the two of them years to get to the point of marriage. Some things were just meant to unfold, messy and ill-timed, but ultimately for the best, weren’t they?

“I’m sorry for what happened with Heath,” he told her.

She watched him, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to explain.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better boyfriend and that you…” He’d thought about this long and hard, made several speeches in his head, but somehow none of them felt right.

“Cole?” She touched his forearm. “It’s fine. Really.”

“No, I caused you pain. I hurt you, and for that I’m so sorry.” He watched regret flicker in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“Why?”

“Are you serious?” She was giving him attitude with a strength that took him aback.

“Yes,” he said cautiously. “I am.”

“Cole.” She shifted impatiently. “You weren’t the only one in that relationship. I hurt you, too.”

He opened his mouth to argue.

“I did.” She said it with conviction. “I should have been stronger.”

“You shouldn’t have to be strong when you’re with the man you love.” He cleared his throat. That sounded too present tense. “That you cared for.”

“Yes, I should. Strength is needed to balance relationships.” Her gaze was fixed on the stable behind them. He got the sense she was thinking of the present as well as the past. She turned her focus back to him, her look serious, mature. Strong. “We never balanced.”

That was one way of putting it.

“I sometimes think that everyone wanted it more than we did,” she said, “and that we tried to force it for too long. The way we broke up so frequently should have been a sign.”

“I still should have done better,” Cole said. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper and let you run off into his arms.”

“And I shouldn’t have made you be the one to break up with me. I should’ve had the courage to do it myself.”

“You wanted to break up?”

“I’d already known for a long time that we were over, but I feared I’d cave to the hints from others, and go back to you again. I let others determine my actions for a long time for fear of…” Her shoulders lifted and her chin jutted out. “I ran to Heath so I wouldn’t run back to you.”

Cole rubbed the heel of his hand across his chest, working out the tension in his muscles. He hated that she felt she’d had to run away from him in order to start over.

“You know,” she said thoughtfully, “if you had done all that you wished you had, and I had been strong enough to do all that I had wanted… then I wouldn’t have Kurt. I wouldn’t have Brant.” She smiled through damp eyes, that ray of happiness shining once again. “I wouldn’t have this tremendous love and stability in my life.”

Cole nodded, understanding. “Still, I’m sorry.”

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