Page 61 of When We Break

“It’s okay, boy,” Beck says from across the room.

“He’s looking for the lights.” I swallow hard. My voice sounds thready. “He thinks he has to turn on the lights.”

“Can you call him to you?” he asks, and I can hear the concern in his deep voice.

“Riley, come.”

The dog jumps onto the couch and covers my lap. He’s a huge, heavy dog, but I need him right now because this absolute darkness…

I bolt upright in bed. What’s that noise? “Feck, where’s my bloody phone?”

There’s no light. I can’t see my hand in front of my face, and I amnot okay. I. Need. Light.

Is someone in my apartment?

“It’s okay, Irish,” Beckett says, keeping his voice calm. “I’m grabbing candles right now. Take a deep breath.”

But I can’t. I can’t fecking breathe, and I need lights. I need to be able to see.

Someone is there with me. Hovering in the darkness. Oh God, someone is here. That scent. I know that cologne.

“Hey, talk to me,” Beck says. I wish I could see him.

“Can’t.” I try to suck in air. Riley whines and shoves his head in my chest.

Finally, there’s the flicker of a lighter, and a candle is lit. Beckett lights at least half a dozen more and sets them around the room, casting a soft glow, and then crosses back to me and sits beside me, but he doesn’t pull me to him. He takes my hand in his, squeezing it tight.

“I need you to breathe, Irish.” His eyes are pinned to mine, and he takes a deep inhale. I know I’m supposed to mimic him, but my lungs just don’t want to fill. “Tell me three things you see, Skyla.”

I frown but look around. “The pillow.”

“Good.”

I lick my lips. “That plant.”

“One more.” He’s rubbing his free hand up and down my arm.

“A book.”

“Good. Three things you can feel.”

“Scared.”

“No, baby, physical things. Do you feel the couch under you?”

I swallow hard and nod. “The couch. Riley shaking. Your hands.”

“Good girl.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “Breathe, baby. Take a deep breath for me, okay?”

Finally, I’m able to fill my lungs with a shaky breath.

“That’s my girl. Tell me three things you can hear.”

I close my eyes and listen. “The wicks burning in the candles. The wind outside. Oh God, is that why the power is out?”

“One more thing, beautiful girl. Tell me one more thing.”

“Your voice.”

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