Page 106 of Pyg

“Yeah. I mean, I really like her. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s driving me fucking nuts.” Alice licked the spoon.

“And does she like you?”

“I thought she did. I’m normally good at picking up that sort of thing, but maybe I’ve read it all wrong. Every time I think she’s about to say something or make a move, it fizzles into nothing. And worst of all, she keeps saying that we’re friends.”

“Right, okay. Well then, it sounds like you’ve got to stop being such a trashy lesbo-nymph.”

“Oi!”

“You said yourself that you could use a friend right now. So, this is your chance.”

“There’s a reason I don’t have any female friends apart from you.”

“Yes, because you sleep with them all and fuck it up.”

“No, I mean that women typically don’t get to know me for the friendship. I don’t really know how to?—”

“Well, whatever you’re doing with that doctor seems to be working. She wants to hang out with you all the time, doesn’t she?”

Alice agreed through a mouthful of creamy yoghurt.

“You can just enjoy someone’s company without having to sleep with them.”

“Yeah, I know, but I can’t getthatout of my head. Perhaps I need to go out and get laid to take my mind off Ash’s amazing ar?—”

“Please don’t finish that sentence.”

“Arms.” Alice chuckled. “I was going to sayarms. Honestly, she has very toned biceps.” Even though Maggie couldn’t see her, Alice flexed her muscle to demonstrate.

“Right, okay. Perhaps you should give yourself a break. Think of it like a sort of detox. You’ve just come out of something pretty intense with Fran, so take some time to cleanse your body. Clear your clogged chakras and it’ll open your heart and mind to something truly transformational.”

“Jesus, Mags, are they handing out samples of space cake at Waitrose or something?”

Maggie laughed, and Alice grinned into the phone.

“No, you know what I’m saying, though? Perhaps you’re just trying to fill the void with someone else, when actually, you need that space for yourself?”

“I had wondered that.”

“So a little distance between you and the doctor would be good. It’ll help you get some perspective, hey?”

“Hmm, yeah, but I’m going to her brother’s engagement party with her next weekend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s at some swanky hotel in Yorkshire. I’ve no idea what to wear, but I’ll figure it out. Shame I ruined my Louboutins, they’d have been ideal.”

“Okay, well, those sorts of occasions can heighten emotions, so try to keep your head. And you can always call me if you need to.”

Alice scoffed a laugh. “What, and you’ll answer three hours later?”

“Yeah, something like that. Right, I better make sure Markus hasn’t got lost. Love you, Al.”

“Love you too, Mags.”

Alice cleaned the yoghurt pot with her tongue and wondered how her sister always managed to be so right about everything in Alice’s life, and yet somehow, she herself had ended up married to a prick like Markus.

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