Page 38 of Glitter

Disconcerted, all I could do was watch. When he suddenly swung around to face me, I jumped. And when he pointed a trembling finger at me, I braced for his next heated barrage. But I still wasn’t quite prepared for the accusations he flung at me.

“We had a perfect thing going—sex, sex, and more sex. With none of the inconvenient feelings or expectations that only manage to fuck everything up. But now…now… You think what? That you want to date me?”

His voice got colder and meaner as Dusti sarcastically asked, “What? You want to take me on dates, Benny? Wine and dine me? Get to know me?”

“Yes. Yes. That’s exactly what I—” I tried to cut into the verbal rampage he was on, but Dusti wasn’t interested in listening.

“Well, let me let you in on a little something that’ll save you some time, effort, and money, Benny—you don’t want to date me,” Dusti stated, adding, “Nobody wants to date me.”

Once again, he didn’t let me get in a single word. Even though I would’ve fervently countered that I did; I wanted to date him.

“Nobody wants to date me,” he repeated. His bitter scoff gouged at my heart. “Not past the first few dates, anyway,” he stated. “I’ve gone down this road too many times. It always ends with yelling and disappointment. Broken promises and dashed dreams. And tears.Mytears. It’s always my tears that get shed when some guy realizes that I’m not what he wants after all. When he tells me that the way I dress is fine…once in a while, but not all the time. When he asks me, for the umpteenth time, why I don’t have any ambition. Why I don’t get a different, better, more interesting job.”

Pressing his hands flat against the top of his car, Dusti glared at me. Through clenched teeth, he rasped out, “I have travelled on this path too many times, and I’m sick of it. Because the only place it takes me is to where some man tosses me away like yesterday’s spoiled leftovers.”

Dusti’s outburst seemed to have drained away his anger-fueled energy. As the silence after his last statement echoed around the parking lot, I was finally able to contribute more than a few words to this, so far, largely one-sided conversation.

“Not with me,” I said. “I wouldn’t… It wouldn’t be like that with me. I promise.”

His sparkling blue eyes were dull, the sparkle extinguished, and his voice was sad as he said, “Promises are like bubbles, Benny. Pretty, and shiny, and fun. But they never last.”

Desperate for him to listen, to believe me, I begged. “Please, Dusti. Please, I can prove it to you. Give me a chance. One date. One. I can show you—”

“No, Benny. There’s no point. I already know where the road with one date ends. And I’ll take the first exit off that fucking road every time.”

I watched as he walked up to his car, as he placed his hand on the driver side door handle. Urgency guiding me, I edged around the back of his car, needing to do something… Needing to stop him from… Actually, what was Dusti planning to do?

Obviously, he was upset. Upset with me. But he’d driven me out here. No matter how angry he was at me right now, would he leave me stranded here, 30 minutes away from home?

“Dusti, please,” I implored.

“No. We’re done. It’s over, Benny.”

Yanking the door open, he climbed into his car. Numb and reeling from shock, I staggered toward the yawning chasm of his open car door.

I got so close, I only needed to take one or two more steps. My arm reached out…

“Why, Benny? Why did you have to ruin this?”

The quiet whisper of his questions only made the slamming of his car door, and the thunking click of the lock, feel louder. Loud enough to pierce my heart and shatter it.

Millions of tiny shards of my heart littered the parking lot, further ground into dust by Dusti’s car tires as he roared away, leaving me behind.

Chapter 18

The right thing to do would’ve been to respect Dusti’s decision. He had every right to call things off between us. Outside of consensual non-consent, not taking a no for an answer was creepy and all sorts of wrong.

But here’s the thing…

All those things that Dusti said—before he abandoned my butt in a diner parking lot and I had to call for a rideshare to get me home—I don’t think he wanted them to be true. I definitely thoughthethought they were true, but I really believed he’s secretly desperate for somebody to prove him wrong.

Me. That’s who he’s been waiting for. Me. I was the one who’ll show him, over and over and over again, until it sinks in and he believes it, that feelings don’t ruin things. That I really did want to take him on one, two, five…a hundred dates.More.

I wanted to show Dusti that I liked everything I already knew about him. I wanted the chance to prove that I wouldn’t get sick of him. The thought of toying with his emotions, of treating him like garbage and then throwing him away was…inconceivable.

I’d been ready to worship Dusti when all I saw was pretty perfection; I was fully prepared to fall in love with the man beneath his exterior.

But in order to do all of that, I needed to talk to him.

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