Page 33 of Love Set Free

If there were a way for me to slide out of Phoenix’s embrace, take myself off to the bathroom to scrub off all the layers of muck and grime off my body, locate some clean clothing to wear, then tuck myself back into the warmth and safety of his arms without him noticing, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Because, while waking up wrapped up in another man’s arms is nowhere within theuniverse of normal for me, that is the very thing that is making me feel so good this morning. As if all is actually right with my world, despite knowing how very much it isn’t.

It doesn’t even bother me that there is a very noticeably hard dick jabbing itself against my butt cheek. Now, that is a situation I never thought I’d be in and the fact that it isn’t freaking me out or making me uncomfortable… Actually, no. That seems perfectly right, too. Because it’s Phoenix. Because, of all the dicks in the world, it’sPhoenix’sdick. If anything, I feel a pulse of additional guilt that not only am I gross and dirty, I don’t have a lot of padding on my ass for Phoenix’s dick to poke against.

A rumble vibrating deep in Phoenix’s chest and the slightest tightening of his arms around me precedes a shift of his hips and, suddenly, Phoenix’s dick is pressing even more insistently against my butt. Apparently, the man is waking up, raring to go and looking for a little morning somethin’-somethin’. The small, pleased hum he makes tells me that perhaps my flat ass isn’t as much of a disappointment as I assumed.

He might not be completely asleep anymore, but I doubt Phoenix is fully awake. He strikes me as the honorable sort who’d get a fellow’s consent before outright grinding away on him, the way he’s doing to me right now. But I find, I don’t mind what he’s doing. I’d probably give him the go-ahead if he were conscious enough to ask for one. Because, unexpectedly, what I am feeling is a return of those swirling butterflies in my stomach that I’d felt last night when Phoenix had been touching and caressing my face.

I don’t think it’s arousal. Not…not like that. My own dick isn’t getting in on the action, it’s all still and limp within the confines of my jeans and undies. But I’m sure as heck feelingsomethingat having Phoenix all pressed up against me and interested in, uh, that.

But all too soon, only a couple minutes or so of him rolling his hips and rutting his erection against me, Phoenix’s dick isn’t the only thing that’s stiff, his whole body stilling and tensing up.

“Shit. Shitfuck. Shit. Shit, I’m sorry, Jackson. Shit, I didn’t mean—"

Phoenix’s hips jerk backward and there’s no longer a hard, eager dick doing its best to become acquainted with my backside. He also tries to pull his arms from around me, but I don’t let him get away with putting any sort of space between us. My hands clamp down on his arms before they can slide away from me and I tighten the clamp my legs have around one of his.

“Stop it, Phee, just stop.” It still feels like he’s trying to disentangle himself from me, so I set out to reassure him. “Phoenix, no, it’s fine. I know morning wood’s a thing, something you can’t even control, and it’s okay.”

“Fine, yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to…” His huff of breath tickles the fine hairs lying limp against the back of my neck. “To…you know.”

“‘Cept it is okay, ’cause I’m tellin’ you it is. It’s fine, you don’t need to be goin’ anywhere.”

“Ugh, babe, that’s…that’s all fine and good for you to say, but… Jackson. Sweetheart.” Phoenix’s voice sounds apologetic, but alsonot, as he continues, “It’s…it’s been over a week since I…you know. And if you let me stay plastered up against you, I’m going to keep being hard. And my body’s going to want to…want to… Well, it’s going to want to keep doing what it was already doing. And I don’t think you—"

“Okay.”

It’s like he didn’t even hear me, his voice insistent as he continues arguing. “And I’d never, I’d never, ever, do something to you against your consent, against your wishes. I wouldn’t. Even if you didn’t mean as much to me as you do. But you do.And so I wouldn’t want to, I wouldn’t. But I’m not sure, not a hundred percent, that my body wouldn’t just…just…”

“Phoenix.” I can tell he’s about to gear up for some more of the same. And I really don’t need, or even want him to do that. So, I repeat his name, louder, firmer, making sure he hears me this time. “Phee. Listen. Listen to me.” I pause for a beat to make sure he is listening to me and he’s not going to talk anymore until I’ve said my piece. “It’s okay. Let your body do what it’s gonna do. I don’t mind. I want you here. Next to me. Close to me. Pressed up as tight as tight can be. I don’t want you goin’ anywhere. Not now. Not ever.”

I wait, giving him a chance to voice some sort of reaction to what I just said. But after all I get from him is a soft, helpless groan that I’m not sure he meant to make, I tell him, “Use me. You seem to enjoy bein’ this close to me. And I don’t mind. I like it. I do,” I insist, having the feeling that Phoenix will need to hear that reassurance. “So, use me. Please, Phee. I want it.”

It’s as if me saying that it’s what I want is the thing that breaks him. Because, as soon as the last word leaves my lips, his restraint breaks free and the civilized, rational, conscientious part of Phoenix—the part that’s telling him not to, telling him all the reasons it would be wrong—falls away. A mighty moan, close to a sob, comes crashing out of him as his arms re-tighten their hold around me and his hips begin a dance as old as time.

The solid, hard length of Phoenix’s dick ruts against the lean curve of my ass.

“Jesus. Fuck, babe.” He’s groaning and panting behind me, disjointed words of enjoyment and praise tumbling out of him. “Do you know... How could you? You feel so good. So perfect. Just like this, right like this, in my arms, so lean and slender and... Fuck. You’re so perfect. Can’t believe... So close and you don’t even know, do you?Ungh. What you do to me.”

The tentative, flickering fluttering in my stomach is now a hurricane-strength, swirling cyclone churning and rearranging the very depths of my soul. All I’m doing is lying there, on top of a lush bed that probably costs more than a brand-new car, and letting Phoenix use me for his pleasure and I...I’ve never felt more right. I feel like just what Phoenix is telling me I am—perfect. Perfect just as I am, perfect for him.

“That’s right, Phee. Keep going. Use me, take me.”I’m yoursI think, but those words I manage to swallow before they can embarrassingly escape from me. Not that the words I am saying are any less cringeworthy than the ones I don’t. “Use my body to get yourself off.”

“I’m going to… I’m…I’m…” His words cut off as his breath hitches, then his whole body stills behind me.

A low, satisfied-sounding grunt accompanies Phoenix’s orgasm, and I wish I knew what that looks like on his face. I’d like to know what Phoenix looks like when he’s in the grips of desire, in the moments leading up to an orgasm, and then be able to see the exact second he comes as it plays out upon his face.

Oh well, something to aim for next time.

I feel the gentle pressure of Phoenix nuzzling and pressing soft kisses to the back of my head. “Oh, Jackson. Sweetheart.”

I’m once again riddled with regret that I didn’t take the opportunity to shower and wash off several weeks of dried sweat and grime. All of me feels glazed with a layer of yuck and, as much as I’m enjoying Phoenix’s sweetly affectionate actions, I also want him to stop before he notices just how revolting I still smell and feel.

Phoenix’s arms are still draped around me, but in a comfortable and relaxed embrace now that he came. So, it doesn’t take much for me to wriggle out of his arms and scoot closer to the edge of the mattress, creating a bit of space betweenour bodies, although, as soon as they fall away from me, I miss the feel of his hands, which had been idly petting my chest and stomach.

“We should go shower.”

I must sound terser than I mean to, because Phoenix’s reply sounds full of guilt and remorse. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t…I didn’t… You said I could… That you wanted… Oh, Jesus, I’m sorry. I should’ve never—"

No, that isn’t what I want. Not at all. I swiftly roll over to face him and press my fingers against his mouth to halt his unnecessary apologizing. “No, stop.” I’m aware that my fingers are as dirty as the rest of me and I hope I’m not transferring anything truly vile onto his lips. “I wanted you to, uh, do what you did. With me. Against me. Whatever. I wouldn’t have said you could if it wasn’t something I wanted,” I say. Phoenix is avoiding my eyes, so I can’t see how much he’s absorbing what I’m telling him. So, I do the best I can to convince him by offering an explanation for my suggestion. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t regret what just happened. I just… I didn’t shower last night, so…”

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