Page 35 of Unspoken Truths

“They tell me that I’m stupid, not good enough, and that no one would miss me if I was gone,” I say, my gaze moving to admire how pretty Liliana’s fingers are. It’s an odd thing to notice, but I’m still pretty spacy. “They tell me to kill myself, so I cut so they’ll shut up. It’s something I can control in a time where I feel like nothing is within my control.”

“How long has it been going on?” Mom asks and I shrug.

“Since Dad died,” I murmur. “I started the night of the funeral. I knew we were going to lose the house, I snuck into his office and saw exactly how overextended we were. I thought I was prepared for the worst, but I wasn’t.”

I can hear my mom beginning to breathe hard, but I can’t hear any crying yet. It’s enough to know that she is, though. Hearing her cry will simply make me spiral, and I’m trying hard to keep it together right now.

“You were forced to grow up really quickly,” Emil mutters. “I don’t think you should go to school tomorrow, but?—”

My eyes fly over to meet his gaze, wondering if this is where he pulls me out of school.

“I think you should go back Monday,” he finishes.

“Emil, are you fucking serious?” Mom snaps.

“Why do you think that the Kings and my son are twisted up about Rachelle, Liliana?” Emil asks.

“There’s this crazy look in their eyes when they look at her,” she says. “They were obsessive when they asked me today where she was. I had no idea, yet they threatened me as if I did.”

“Idiots,” Emil mutters. “A crush, and they’re reacting as if Rachelle has some sort of disease.”

“Cooties?” I ask, finding a smile somehow.

Liliana huffs out a laugh, shrugging.

“Ignacio is her stepbrother,” my mom says. “Even if he wasn’t part of these Kings and terrorizing my daughter, I don’t know if whatever feelings he has are appropriate.”

“The only issue I have with it is that he’s being a dick,” Emil says. “They’re not related, and no one cares about that here.”

“Dick or not, I wouldn’t touch it with someone else’s hand,” I mutter.

Liliana still looks amused as her thumb strokes the back of my hand.

“Rachelle,” Mom groans.

“I could have said much worse,” I remind her.

I don’t mention everything else I’ve witnessed with the Kings or their names, mostly because Mom wouldn’t know who they are anyway.

“There were so many details no one should know in the article. Even with the way it was all twisted,” I fret. “Nothing is sacred to them. What’s going to happen when they find a way to get my psych records, Mom. It would be really great to see those in everyone’s hands.”

“Theo Holmes, I understand, is very adept at coding,” Emil says. “He has a penchant for sticking his nose into places they don’t belong. While I’m remiss in knowing what exactly has been going on at Carlysle Prep, I do keep tabs on Nacio’s closest friends.”

“Theo is an asshole,” Liliana mutters. “I have a feeling Miss Hailey was pulled into this mess, if they really wanted to pin this on me.”

“It was one of my first thoughts, my apologies,” Emil says formally.

Liliana gives him a curt nod, accepting it. “Mr. Emil, you told me to show Rachelle around the school, and I…like her. There’s no way that I would do this,” she says.

Glancing at my mom, I see the way she’s watching us, trying to figure out if she’s interpreting things correctly. I like Liliana, which is why I was so hurt when I thought she’d been behind things. Trust… still not in the cards yet.

I’m scared I may be awful at reading people. In my eyes, everyone is out to get me, because if I think any different, they actually will be.

It’s a very difficult situation.

“I know,” Emil grunts. “Rachelle, I’m worried about all of these conflicting feelings and the cutting. Not because you did anything wrong, but because these coping mechanisms could ultimately kill you one day. Cutting too deeply in an effort to not feel anymore or gain control when you’re spirally is a high probability.”

“I didn’t mean to,” I whisper. “The knife works differently from my razor blades. It was kind of dark where I was hiding in the tunnels too. The admin team was looking for me.”

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