Page 48 of The Manor of Dreams

She had hung on to that brief vision ever since, and now it had turned into a premonition, like lucky tiles racked up. She had poured every bit of herself into every role. The day she was nominated for an Academy Award, she had leapt into her husband’s arms. She knew what she was going to say if—

Ifshe won.

After all, she had had years to prepare.

Now the limo pulled up to the curb. Camera flashes blinded her as she linked arms with her husband and let him lead her in. They stopped for cameras and journalists, but it all barely registered. The crowds swelled and dissolved around them as they made their way to their designated chairs. Vivian fixated only on the stage.

The lights dimmed. She felt anxious, such that her limbs began to numb as the music played and the awards ceremony began. Could this be her moment? What if the mirror had been nothing but a delusion? Somehow the sickness of anticipation was worse than thinking she didn’t stand a chance. But she scarcely had the time to collect her thoughts when she heard the presenter’s voice.

“And the award for Best Supporting Actress goes to—”

She sucked in a breath, her head dizzy.

“Vivian Yin forFortune’s Eye.”

Her husband looked at her, and she remembered, years later, that his first expression had been shock. Then it melted into adoration. He cupped her face and kissed her and pulled her into his arms, and Vivian let herself be held for a moment. She locked eyes with her co-star, Ernie MacDowell, who’d received a Best Actor nomination, and he gave her a beaming grin. She gathered her sweeping red skirts and walked carefully into the dazzling beam of spotlights. She looked directly at the presenter when he handed her the award and said, “Congratulations, Vivian.” She mouthed a breathless thanks, and then there she was. On the stage, holding the delicate statue in her hands. It was lighter than she had imagined.

“Thank you to…” These were the words she’d spent years practicing. “The Academy, and my director, Sheldon, my co-stars, Will and Ernie and Anita and Yuen… those who have helped me in my career, to…” She looked over at the crowd and her gaze landed on the man she loved.

Except his eyes were gone. The sockets were dark pits, filled with crumbling dirt. His lips were gone too. Mottled shreds of flesh hung off his cheekbones over a grotesque smile. Hewassmiling at her. No, he wasn’t moving.

Those were the worms, writhing, crawling where his teeth should have been.

Vivian’s words dropped away.

There was only silence now. The presenter, who had been serenely looking out over the crowd, now turned to her. But she couldn’t stop staring at the corpse sitting in the place of her husband.

She felt sick. She tore her eyes away and her gaze trailed over the crowd again. Her fingers trembled so much she was scared the award would drop. “To…” She took a deep breath. “To my f-family and community, for supporting me, and to Chinese actors, this…” She steadied her shaking voice. “This is for all of you. Thank you.” And with those last words she was free. She stumbled for the stairs at the edge of the stage. She was dimly aware of the applause that greeted her and the smiles that beamed at her. She didn’t want to be in the auditorium anymore. She wanted to bolt for the doors. But she forced herself to walk toward her seat as she took very shallow breaths.

She dared to glance up. The gruesome vision was gone. Her husband’s face was once more his.

Her staggering relief gave way to the slow realization that she had forgotten his name in her speech.

As she moved closer, she saw the effort in his placid smile. His eyes were leeched of all warmth. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and Vivian thought of the corpse again and felt faint. The lights panned away from them and she dropped the award in her lap. But Richard didn’t reach for her. He faced forward. Vivian kept her eyes wide-open as they ran through the rest of awards. She knew that the moment she closed them she would see the image of her husband’s skull filled with earth and maggots. She winced at how each winner joyfully thanked their spouses and loved ones by name. Shehadwanted to thank Richard, truly.

The night dragged on. She was relieved when they got to the Best Actor category, because she knew that only this could salvage what had happened. The names of the Best Actor nominees were called, and Vivian reached over and squeezed her husband’s hand tightly.

“And the award for Best Actor goes to…”

She waited. For his name, for the roar of applause that would follow.

It never came. She didn’t realize that Ernie’s name had been called until heads started turning.

Stunned, she gaped toward the stairs, where her co-star loped gracefully toward the award that belonged to her husband. She half rose from her seat in indignation, and then sank back down.

She looked back toward Richard, but he wouldn’t look at her. His gaze was fixed on some point on the stage.

Soon they were swept into a limo to an after-party, where Vivian was swarmed with her co-stars’ excitement. Ernie swept her up in a hug, and their director congratulated them both. All eyes were on her. It was just like she had pictured all those years ago. And yet everything about it felt wrong. Her husband stood stiffly to the side. She’d upstaged him. She’d gotten what he had coveted all his life. Vivian drank champagne and laughed, but the guilt settled sourly in her stomach.

The ride home was quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Vivian said, trying to be diplomatic. “It’s late. We should have gone home earlier.”

Her husband didn’t respond at first.

She said, haltingly, drunkenly: “I’m—sorry. I’m so ashamed.”

When he finally spoke, his voice was perfectly even. “Of what, sweetheart?”

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