Madeline felt, again, like a scolded child. “I know. But I was curious, and there were roses growing out there, so I went to see.” She stopped. What could she say next? That she was attacked by the garden? It felt ridiculous in this moment under Ma’s probing eyes, even if her arm did ache. She peeled back down her sleeve. She didn’t even want to show her mother the large cut.
“This iswhy I told you.No one’s been back there for decades. God knows what’s out there, animals or ticks. Stay inside. Okay? I can’t be worrying about both the house and about you getting scratched up in whatever grows out of that mess these days.” Ma’s eyelids fluttered. “And just… keep an eye on… that. If it gets worse, we’ll have to do something about it. But go get yourself some breakfast for now. I got some food from the store. I’m going to work.”
“Fine,” Madeline said curtly. “Let me help you.”
“I’ve got this under control. Don’t worry.”
Madeline insisted, “This matters to me. I’ve got nothing else to do. I’m losing my mind here.”
“Find something to occupy yourself. This case is delicate. I don’t need you in it.”
Case?A flush of rage came over Madeline. This was all it was to hermother, then? “Well, God forbid I get in the way of your big fuckingcase.”
The room was silent for a moment until Ma turned toward her. “What?”
“That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it? There’s always some big case or campaign event. Nothing will ever matter to you more.” Madeline stepped back. Her eyes started to smart. “This isn’t a case. It’s our family. And you’re cutting me out!” Dimly she thought to calm down. But she felt wounded. She said quietly: “It’s exhausting being your daughter. I just ruin everything for you, don’t I?”
Ma recoiled. Madeline didn’t know what she would do.
“This is allfor you,” Ma finally spat. “I’m doing everything I can to set things right for our family.” Her eyes flashed. “You want something to do? Go apply to jobs and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I can’t believe I raised you to be like this.”
Madeline stood there for a moment, seething, before she stalked out of the library. She gnashed her teeth on the inside of her cheek until she could taste blood.
Madeline stomped through the silent house and up the stairs. The door to her aunt’s room was closed. Locked, probably. Madeline stood at the threshold, fuming. Trying, like she always had, to rationalize on behalf of Ma.She’s anxious. Grieving. Processing this in her own time.This is what she got for starting an argument. Hadn’t she learned? To challenge her mother was like starting a fire and putting her hand in the flame. She knocked on her aunt’s door with more force than she’d intended.
She heard shuffling inside, then the door opened. Aunt Rennie peered out. “Madeline?” She took stock of her niece. “Are you okay?”
“Can I come in?”
“Yes—of course.” Aunt Rennie wavered, and then the door opened wider. Madeline entered a room strewn with clothes. They hung over the bed frame and piled up on the white chair in the corner. The wallpaper was printed with a pattern of ferns. Her aunt had changed into baggy jeans and her hair was clipped up. A stained T-shirt lay on the floor. Aunt Rennie kicked it away. “What’s going on?”
“Did something happen in the house between Elaine and Wài Pó? Or something between your families?”
Aunt Rennie’s face fell. “What do you mean?”
“Please tell me the truth, Yí Ma. I want to know.” Madeline’s voice lowered. “There is security footage of Elaine coming to the house before Wài Pó died. But apparently she asked her to come. Would you know why?”
Aunt Rennie looked slightly bewildered. Then she sank into her bed. “I don’t know, Madeline.” Her voice was barely audible. “I really don’t.”
“Canyouask? Maybe Ma will tell you.”
Her aunt shrugged, although it looked more like a shudder. “What good would it do?”
“Don’t you want to know the truth? Doesn’t it bother you that my mother has shut both of us out of this?”
“That’s just her way of doing things. But she’s either going to win this fight or she’ll scare them into settling. I know she’ll get us the house back.”
“It’s not about the house.”
Aunt Rennie stood up then, alarmed. “What happened? What did your mother say to you?”
“She just—” Madeline’s breaths came out in short bursts. “She doesn’t trust me. I wanted to help her, and she said that I would ruin it. I’m just—always—another problem to her.”
Aunt Rennie folded Madeline into a hug. Under her aunt’s usual floral perfume, a stale sourness lingered. “I know what your mother is like,” she said quietly. “I know she’s difficult. But it’s just the family history. Some things are too painful to know about. It’s better you didn’t.”
What did that mean? “But it’smyfamily too. I hate feeling like the only person on the outside. I feel like I’m going insane here. I see things that disappear. I can’t make sense of anything.”
Her aunt peeled Madeline away from her. “What do you mean?”