Page 28 of This Side of Beautiful

“You not eating?” Charles asked.

“Wanted to make sure there was enough,” I improvised. My appetite was long gone.

He passed me a plate with a waffle and sausage. “Eat.”

I preferred the eggs and bacon, but no way was I going to refuse a plate from the most nonchalant member of The Hollow Bones. I gladly received the food. “Thank you.”

Charles grunted as he pulled out a stool at the island so I could sit. He and Brian joined me, and we broke bread together.

Progress.

With clasped hands, I stood before the men in the living area, where they were all sprawled out on the large maroon sectional and coordinating chaise longue. The women were gone, and appetites had been satisfied.

“Hear me out,” I began.

“What do you think we’re doing when we should be practicing?” Cedrick asked, centering the sectional with his arms strewn across its back.

Landon, who’d disappeared until I texted him that I was starting the meeting, straddled the chaise nearest me. “She won’t take long.”

Grateful for his presence, I smiled at him, and his brows dipped until the ends touched.Okay. I was on my own. “Despite what happened Friday night, I’m not that same chick you knew from the past.”

The men snickered. Even Landon smirked.

“Seriously, I wasn’t being a diva. I didn’t know I was expected to be at the rehearsal the whole time. Cash’s words got the best of me and threw me off. I didn’t want to mess up the show for you or him. I did use after being clean for three years. I was a nervous wreck, and I couldn’t figure out how to calm down without taking anything. But it won’t happen again. I’ll see my therapist as soon as I get back to Los Angeles. I’m not craving or tempted to use again.”

“It can’t happen again,” Cedrick said firmly. “No drunken, drugged-out moments like Friday. No diva behavior. Whenever we rehearse, you stay the entire time and be on time. In fact, be there fifteen minutes early. We only have ten shows, and we don’t have time for your shit, Janae. Del begged us to take you and guaranteed us a nice paycheck. Without that, we would have passed on you.”

Refusing to allow his words to penetrate the armor I’d used to rise as far as I had, I boasted with a smug smile, “And your paycheck will double, possibly triple. New Orleans, Atlanta, and now New York are sold out. The rest of the shows are almost sold out. Los Angeles is the biggest venue, and by the time we wrap up there, promoters will be begging us to add more dates. Just think how much attention and money we can make if we have a hit single. A single that shoots to the top within a matter of weeks.” I placed my hands on my hips. “I wrote the lyrics to every single number-one smash I had. I’ll do it again. This time backed by The Hollow Bones.”

“It’s not our music.” Santiago checked his watch. “We want to maintain who we are. We’ve won Grammys based on who we are. Mainstream has a way of demanding we melt into the machine and lose our uniqueness and individuality.”

I stepped closer to them. “I’m not asking you to do my music. I’m proposingourmusic.”

“Naw… it’s The Hollow Bones and then Janae. There is no ‘our’ in whatever we create,” Cedrick retorted.

“She just meant for the single.” Brian sounded exasperated. “Janae has a point. We would make serious loot while the iron is hot. This will bring more eyes on us while we still do what we do best. Our second LP can be a commercial and artistically sound success, remembered forever. Pop music isn’t the devil.”

Charles snorted. “Just the idea of changing our music to reflect what’s popular has caused a rift in the band. Creating a song with you could further divide us. We can’t fall like many bands before us. The only thing that’s a fact is that past behavior predicts future behavior. Hence, Friday night. Yeah, you killed it, but you were high, and if Landon didn’t intervene, you were headed to Cash’s room. We’re all men, and you’re the only woman. I don’t want to risk our solid brand or our rep as good guys.”

The other men nodded while Landon hunched forward. The tension from his body bounced off him.

“You have every right not to trust me or believe I’ve changed. You’ve laid down the rules and made it clear that you won’t tolerate my past behavior. I accept your rules. Now, I need the chance to prove that this tour and recording a song with me isn’t a mistake. I’m not asking you to shift your style of music to mine or change anything for me. I’m proposing a meeting of two worlds. People love the familiar and what’s trending. Who says we can’t establish the trend and let them follow us? Lauryn Hill’s versatility made The Fugees different from any hip-hop group.”

“And that group disbanded after two albums,” Cedrick reminded me. “Let’s tour first, and if you don’t fuck it up, then we might consider an original song with you. The spotlight is already on us, and our brand is everything.”

The guys all nodded except Landon. He leaned forward as if to say something and then sat back, tightening his jaw.

I took it as a sign that he still thought like I did. That hopping on it now was a better move.

A new idea popped up. I bounced on my toes. “Where are your instruments?”

Brian said, “Why?”

Landon answered, “On the ground floor.”

“I can show you better than I can tell you.” I beckoned them as I practically skipped through the house and down the stairs.

The men reluctantly joined me in the makeshift band room.

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