Page 123 of This Side of Beautiful

We resolved that if I decided to get back with The Hollow Bones, we could be cordial and friendly enough to do a couple of shows together. I told her that if that happened, Del would touch base with her. I also gave her permission to perform with them if I never returned. The Hollow Bones weren’t just me. My brothers were all talented in their own right.

In the airport, I hurried to my gate. My shoulders were hunched, and a cap and dark glasses covered my hair and eyes instead of my porkpie. I’d become too recognizable as our relationship had continued to blaze through the entertainment world, especially when we’d been spotted out and about in Austin. We’d also decided that we wouldn’t make any public statements and would allow the buzz to die down when we appeared separately in public.

When I landed in New York, the excitement I usually felt didn’t happen. The world would be gray for now.

The driver pulled up to my brownstone and I grabbed my bag and guitar. The last time I’d stood right here, I’d been in love with Janae and was showing her my home. I trudged up the stairs, missing her and dreading the inevitable drama of my parents.

My mother had been so excited that I was on my way home. She couldn’t wait to see me and talk. She’d asked about Janae, and I’d simply told her that Janae needed to handle some business in Los Angeles. My mother had begun to like Janae, and they would chat when she called for me.

I would ask my mother for a night of rest, and then tomorrow we could begin to pick up the pieces ofherlife and find a new way for them to fit together.

As soon as I opened the door, a broken vase and turned-over chairs greeted me. The refrigerator was open. My heart sank to the floor. I dropped my bag and clutched my guitar. What the hell? Had someone broken in? Did a crazed fan find out where I lived?

My eyes landed on the coffee table Janae picked out, flipped to its side. The LEGO Millenium Falcon that we had started building together sat in ruins, shattered across the floor. My chest clenched. We had never finished it. We said we had time, believing we could always come back to it. Now, it was destroyed before it was ever completed. Just like us.

A choked noise pushed past my lips. I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing the heels of my hands into them.Not now. Not here. Focus.

I forced my feet to move, my heartbeat erratic.Find her.

“Mama!” My voice ricocheted through the space, too loud, too raw. Silence.

I spun around, scanning the destruction. Her purse was missing. Her shoes were gone. She could still be at work.

Or… something else.

A muffled scream.

My blood turned to ice.

I ran. Bolted up the stairs. Two at a time.

Then I heard him.

“You think you can ignore me?”

A man’s voice. Slurred. Sharp with anger.

The walls shrank in around me. My body froze.

That voice. That tone.

The past crashed into me, full force.

Hiding in closets. My mother’s hand clamped over my mouth. The sound of glass breaking. Footsteps too heavy, too fast. The crash of furniture toppling over.

My father’s temper. His rage. The destruction that followed.

This was not a memory. It was happening again.

My chest seized.

But I was not that helpless kid anymore.

I barreled forward and slammed my shoulder into the door. It burst open.

And I saw red.

My mother stood backed into the corner, her lip split, her eye swollen. But not broken. Even now, even like this, she was still fighting.

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